I Seethe

Thanks to watching reruns of Scrubs, I've been exposed to the song "A Little Respect" by Erasure from their album The Innocents. This is possibly the most cloying, treacly thing I've ever heard. It would make Winnie the Pooh vomit homey and Liberace refuse to perform it on the grounds that it's too gay. Then I thought maybe there's some clever, ironic subtexts so I Googled the lyrics and discovered it's even more nauseating than I thought (sample line I am unfortunately not making up - "Soul, I hear you calling"). This cannot stand.

I'm an idealist and I want to live in a better world. I want to live in a world where I can ride my pogo stick home from work and immediately climb onto my trampoline and have bouncy pie fights with hot Asian women. I want to visit a store where the wine is made of beer and the shirts in my size have vertical stripes. I want an official dictionary with words like "floingy". I want to be able to ride unicorns through the heathers until they drop dead of exhaustion, then grill them as steaks with a soy/orange marinade. I want heaven to be reachable with a stepladder and made of pie.

To that end, as a measured and reasonable response to the music industry for dumping that bag of shart song on us, I encourage everyone to drop by their collective houses and fling their goldfish beneath their stoves, put gravel in their lip balm, set fire to their potted plants, and then set fire to the fire. They should be required by law to shave with chainsaws and bathe in rubbing alcohol. May their sandwiches be made of bologna and their pillows full of cacti. I wish them slugs in their head. May they never say "piffle" again.

Example of a woman who would be good in bouncy pie fights:

Cool - almost lunchtime.

Fear Me

Warning - if you cross me, I'm likely to YouTube you the evil eye.

'Cuz that's how I roll.

Direct link is here.

Men - prepare to become interested in cooking shows

Nude cooking show to air in Hong Kong.

Note - bunny pic in the link is borderline not work safe.

For no reason

Shows I thought I'd hate but actually loved:

Babylon 5
Why I thought I'd hate it: "Great, another space station show." Where I lived at the time, it aired on the same channel immediately after Star Trek: Deep Space 9, one of my three least favorite ST franchises.
Why I liked it instead: good acting (amongst the regulars - the extras sometimes stunk), excellent writing, an actual story arc instead of just stand-alone episodes, and *gasp* social and political conflicts that were not neatly resolved by the end of an hour, minus commercials. Plus the special effects were awesome for a TV show at the time.

Veronica Mars
Why I thought I'd hate it: for some reason, I thought it was a 30 minute girly teenie sitcom.
Why I liked it instead: everything I thought about it was so far off it applies equally to The Shield, Jeopardy and Monday Night Football with as much accuracy. The show was an hour-long edgy PI thingy with a lot of overtones of class discrimination, only set mostly at school starring the cute bunny-sized non-bunny Kristen Bell.

Dexter
Why I thought I'd hate it: shows and movies never live up to the books upon which they're based.
Why I liked it instead: the writing in the show is actually better. The titular character is less consistent than in the book, but I think the change was a good idea and necessary to make the character interesting enough to carry a series and palatable for the general public. In the show, he refers to himself as a monster but demonstrates he is capable of caring and growing emotionally. In the book, he is defined by his inability to do those things. Note - the first book and first season are somewhat similar for about the first half, then diverge and go in completely separate directions so you can enjoy both without one being a retread of the other.

Sons of Anarchy
Why I thought I'd hate it: while lying in a hospital bed for a week, I saw the same commercial for this show over and over and Over and OVER and OVER!!! And the dialog, taken out of context, sounded like horrible drivel being delivered by people reading cue cards (poorly).
Why I liked it instead: for some reason I watched an actual episode. AWESOME! It's funny and touching and violent, the dialog is great, and yes, one character does have a very wooden way of speaking, but you realize it fits his personality when you see an entire episode and not the same two lines of dialog spoken at you 37,124 times per day as you lay in an uncomfortable sick bed waiting for the next needle stick.

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Shows I thought I'd love but actually hated:

Arrested Development
Why I thought I'd like it: edgy comedy showcasing bad people doing bad things. Recommended for people who enjoyed Better Off Ted.
Why I disliked it instead: the core of the plot revolves around around a monumentally dysfunctional family. I've lived that for about 35 years and then partially extricated myself (although you will never, ever, ever run out of people wanting to know more about your family who will feel prompted to field another thousand questions when you say "we're estranged" or something else conveying that the subject is uncomfortable to you and you'd rather move on), and the topic always annoys me to the point that I can't appreciate whatever else it has to offer.

Six Feet Under
Why I thought I'd like it: lots of recommendations and comparisons to other shows I like.
Why I disliked it instead: see Arrested Development above. Also, very well written and acted but otherwise nothing like the other shows I like.

Glee
Why I thought I'd like it: good word of mouth and promises that it was filled with wacky.
Why I disliked it instead: actually I'm on the fence about this one. It didn't provide the level of wacky I'd heard, but the main thing was that it's the only show I've ever watched that made me feel like I would have appreciated it 25 years ago but now I'm just too old to "get it" or care that I don't. After digging Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Veronica Mars, Zim the Invader and Justice League Unlimited, that was an unexpected reaction. I think I'll give the second disc a try to see how it goes.

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As usual, if your opinion differs from mine then it's proof I am the superior being and Jesus will pop out your eyes and skull fuck you in the afterlife

Productivity

This weekend I missed Halloween because I stayed in bed in preparation for being in the office this week. The next two weeks will be especially fun because they are working on the parking lot, or more specifically the part next to the building, so I get to park even further away than the typical third of a mile I already walk one way to get to my cubicle. This comes at a perfect time because the doctor just doubled my blood pressure medication dosage (again), and yet my last check showed my resting rate as 190 / 120 (we're shooting more for 120 / 80 or below), so the extra cardio will do my already pounding heart no end of good.

But just so you won't think I'm a relentlessly negative person, let me just announce that I did manage to finish the 3rd season of Veronica Mars on Sunday. I am awesome.

Further note - I am changing the day after Thanksgiving this year to 2nd Halloween, so don't be surprised if I show up at your door trick-or-treating. And, no, you may not use the event as an excuse to pass off some of your leftover turkey and dressing. But I will accept an early Hannukwanzaramadamas gift for 2nd Halloween because I don't celebrate Hannukwanzaramadamas.

TV Improvements

A lot of people have been blogging their thoughts on various season finales which are apparently happening now. I don't have cable and watch all my shows at my own pace via online streaming from NetFlix so I'm exempt from this issue, but it did make me wonder about the state of the good old ratings booster, the crossover, when series overlap stories or borrow characters for cameos from sister series or unrelated shows hosted by the same network. That made me wonder, just how awesome of a crossover could we create if we didn't have silly limitations on who produces the series, what network owns the rights, whether or not it's technically off the air, or if all the major stars are already dead? Consider the following Suggested Crossovers for TV Shows:

#1 - Gilmore Girls / the L-Word: it's boys night out as all of the female members of the Gilmore Girls cast makes out with all the other female members of the show. Hilarity ensues when Madeline gets more lines than normal because she's way hotter than Louise or Paris, but not as hot as Lane. With a cameo from Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Willow (where cameo = anal sex).

#2 - NFL / MASH: the wacky hijinks of the camp's medical staff are viewed through the eyes of the children trying to survive in the bomb-ravaged countryside; specifically the girl children between the ages of 16 and 50. Hilarity bunny ensues when an army supply snafu replaces all of their drab peasant garb with the uniforms of the Dallas Cowboys' cheerleaders.

Potential extra for NFL / MASH:

#3 - NFL / Friends: the annoying gang of friends awaken to discover their series will be canceled and they will be executed if they fail to win the Superbowl. Hilarity ensues as their bodies are broken and mangled because the opposing team is enraged that their cheerleaders have nothing to wear but drab 50's era Korean peasant garb. This week's celebrity sniper will be Ali Larter because I can't spell Hayden Panna Paneti Panetta screw it.

#4 - Star Trek / Sons of Anarchy: the Mayans and One-Niners join forces to eliminate the Sons only to discover they are protected by red-shirted ensigns who are surprisingly easy to kill despite their advanced weaponry. Fifteen minutes into the show, one becomes invincible after it is revealed that he is the son of Kirk's dead friend. Hilarity ensues as Spock flips out in a pon-far inspired rage and kills all of the expendable extras. With Christopher Walken to maximize the awesome.

#5 - Survivor / every drab mainstream sitcom: the stars of all the lackluster sitcoms will be deposited on an island with nothing to eat but a pile of chainsaws. Immunity challenges will be based on the participant's ability to not get cut into bloody sushi. Hilarity ensues as the winner staggers onto the rescue boat only to discover his or her reward is to be dressed like a seal (aka nature's burrito) and then dropped into shark infested waters.

Before I mail my suggestions in to the networks, do you have anything to add?

Bankruptcy Update

In my previous bankruptcy update, I said that Best Buy contested the filing which was a misstatement. To contest the bankruptcy, a creditor would have to send a lawyer to the meeting in order to claim that I'm trying to use the system to cheat them out of money, then the whole thing would go to trial. Instead, what they did was to send my lawyer a contract for me to sign commonly referred to as a Reaffirmation Agreement. Because they had been pissing me off and because (by mistake or intentionally) their agreement tried to get me to pay them more than I owed, I decided to let them take back their used TV since I've already saved enough money to replace it with this. I e-mailed the legal bunny, to which she said she normally advised her clients to pass on reaffirming because a) the value of the property is usually worth less than the amount the creditor tries to get (definitely true in my case), and b) with relatively low-value items like mine they often won't try to collect. So, she e-mailed their lawyer and told him to take a long walk off of a short pier and take a squid up the butt (sorry if all the legalese is confusing to you), and I haven't heard anything further. I'm divided as to whether or not I want them to take the TV, since the 52" Samsung looks really cool.

So, now I'm done with all I have to do and just have to wait for the courts to discharge my debts sometime over the next six months. Hopefully it will be over by my birthday, which is on May 15, a good time to buy presents because you should have recovered from Xmas by then and you have several months before the next Xmas drains your accounts again.

TV Ratings Explained

For those of you who are willingly and persistently foreigners and don't understand how our TV parental guidelines system helps parents shield their precious children from potentially harmful material, I'll give you a few examples to demonstrate their consistency and reliability. Note - a full explanation is here,

Cartoon #1: Justice League Unlimited.
The basics: contains wall to wall fighting, but it's labeled Fantasy Violence, which isn't as bad as real violence. It makes you think you've seen blood, but it's just an illusion. For example, the first episode I saw had Aquaman chop off his own hand in order to save himself and his infant son from a trap. They later showed his arm wrapped in his cloak, which just happened to be blood red (but not actual blood). Then he had a blade grafted onto the stump which he used in a fight to kill his brother. The characters have off-screen sex lives, but Wonder Woman's bodacious rack is always covered and they never use real dirty words to describe things (just fake ones like Fraggin').
Rating: TV Y-7 (safe for everyone aged 7 and older).

Look ma - no hand!

Cartoon #2: Evangelion.
The basics: aliens are invading Earth, for some reason always starting with Japan, and it's up to a group of 14 year old kids to fight them off using giant robots because employing the regular military would be silly. They like to show the girls as naked as possible without going full nudity, and (at least in the American version) the nipples are removed during the few frontal breast shots. Despite the もえ stuff, the only actual sex is off-screen between adults. People are slaughtered wholesale, but the main characters are merely maimed and burned. Harsh language is milder than actual 14 yo's use. Cultural note - in America, teens are wisely prohibited from watching stuff that acurately depicts the things teens do and say.
Rating: TV-14 (ironically the age of the Rei, the character considered the most fuckable based on the number and type of Internet sites and toys inspired by her).

Action adventure series, or pedo-porn? I report, you decide.

Cartoon #3: Nana.
The basics: a comedy / drama series about two 20 year old women who meet on the train to Tokyo. The two are sexually active, although all sex occurs off-screen. The entire series contains no violence, no sex, and only two swear words, one of which was added by the English translation. However, there is one scene in which a couple breaks up while lying in bed. The woman sits up, puts on her shirt, and then you can see a brief outline of her nipple. OMFG - NIPPLE! Click on that NSFW link to see the horror. If you look for more than a half second, you've seen more nipple than the entire series had to offer.
Rating: TV-MA (mature audiences only).

JEBUS SAVE THE CHILDREN FROM THIS!

And that's your daily explanation of why American culture is superior to yours. Stay tuned so I can explain how providing healtchare for your citizens will allow the terrorists to win.

RTT part Today

The days of sharting are finally over, which is good because I'm getting sick of that word.

I can smell my own boogers. Seriously - they have a musty smell. Looks like I'm trading one infirmity for another. It's still much better than stomach cramps and shart attacks.

NetFlix is way cooler when you have a large TV directly connected to your home PC (assuming you have a fast enough Internet connection). Over the last couple of days I've watched episodes of the Rockford Files, Buck Rodgers in the 25th Century, Batman Beyond, Voltron, Tripping the Rift, and Yes, Prime Minister online. Being able to watch them on the TV instead of the PC monitor means I can do so while walking on the treadmill. I've now managed to build my way up to walking 1.4 miles a day (that's about 37 litres/hectare for you Canucks). W00t - I'm such a stud! Surely some bunny action will follow.

K-bunny!

Advertising Done Right

I have no idea what the commercial has to do with McDonald's food, but it makes me want to buy a Big Mac right now. All commercials should be done in such a fashion - 28 seconds of a cute J-bunny frolicking followed by two seconds of flashing the logo - Pop Tarts, Michelin tires, Maker's Mark, Satanism, Gerber baby foods, Ruger guns, whatever. I'll buy it if the implication is that Ebi-chan will like me more.

Don’t Read This, part 1

One Sunday I had the TV tuned in to G4, a geeky network with the typical view of Japan – they love anime, samurai movies, and Japanese video games, but they have no real knowledge or appreciation of Japanese culture. They were televising vignettes wherein the show’s hosts went around Tokyo and laughed at the strange foods and cultural differences. I left it on as background noise, but generally dismissed their bemusement.

In one segment, a guy interviewed an AV (adult video) star named Aya inside of a four-story porn shop. She was pretty, dressed in a sexy but not slutty jeans outfit, and seemed unabashed and to have a good sense of humor. I liked that. I’ve always thought Americans have a double standard about porn stars. We obviously spend a lot of money on the industry, but then we as a nation want to look down our noses at the workers. One of the Lynns told an anecdote on a local rock station about how once she applied for a role in a mainstream movie, used her real name, passed a screen test, and was cast in the part only to be recognized and immediately fired by the director who shouted “What is that porn actress doing on my set?!” (no explanation of how he spotted her on sight – he must have been on Pat Robertson’s mail list). I liked the Japanese way of treating the AV stars as legitimate celebrities instead of a dirty little secret.

Until the interviewer pulled one of her DVDs off the shelf and joked about how it contained sex scenes with a DOG. Ugh! At that point I felt like somebody had punched me in the gut. I’m all for open-mindedness, but I generally draw the line at anything that causes permanent harm or does not involve mutual adult consent. I didn’t actually see the DVD cover when he held it up to the camera, so I hoped that maybe he was only kidding. It continued to bother me over the next couple of days, so I checked G4’s message board to see what people were saying about that segment. One said they knew her work and she didn’t do bestiality, which reassured me a bit. Then another said “Is this her?” and included a link to a site. I was hoping it would just be a regular picture of Aya, but no – it was the full DVD cover explicitly showing her having oral and vaginal sex (no anal, though) with the dog. On top of that, I noticed that it was #2 in a series of five videos, each starring a different actress but with the same dog. It must have been a specially trained AV dog. Call your local obedience schools and ask how much that costs.

(note – the clip of that interview is here and is safe for work if your bosses don’t mind pixilated views of the inside of a porn shop)

Some time after I recovered from that icky blow, I learned of Japanese AV star Sakurada Sakura, who has made over 500 films and is apparently trying to hit every possible perversion (if there’s a niche for avocado nylon fingernail weasel fetishes, you can be sure she’s done it). She’s not only done all the bodily fluid / excretion types of porn, but also was in the first dog DVD and she did an incest movie with her mother. Those of you with mothers, tell me – have you ever looked at her and said “Oh, yeah, I’d hit that!”? Note – the incest movie was also one in a series, not a standalone film.

For those of you keeping score on who has bagged the most J-hotties, the current standings are: Dog – 5, Me – 0. In defense of Japan, I will say that it was the happiest looking dog I’ve ever seen. I envy its sex life.

But before I get disgusting...

I didn't watch the Oscars, but I did write in "Miami Dolphins" in the office pool for a 30-love point spread. Did I win? I get double money if they hit that by the fourth inning.

Interview Meme, part Joe

So I did a couple of interview memes and Joe asked to be interviewed and he posted his answers and then I asked to be interviewed and now I have questions from him. It’s kind of like bloggy incest. Reprint of the rules:

“The only rules are that you have to link back to the original post and you have to put these rules in your post. Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.”

1. If money were no object, what would you spend your life doing?
I would travel to Japan, abduct some hot J-bunnies, kill people at random, then hire a team of lawyers to get me off (the criminal charges – the J-bunnies will get me off the other way). Then I would club baby seals, torpedo endangered whales with an atomic sub, fire the rain forests, introduce great whites into penguin territory (to see if the cold gets the sharks before they get the pengys), cannibalize the J-bunnies and floss with their intestines, then hire a team of lawyers to get me off. Then I would buy the space shuttle, build a home on the moon, start my own J-bunny ranch colony and build a giant mass driver device to obliterate the Earth, starting with the bastard lawyers who got me off.
Or if you’re asking what would I like to do realistically if I didn’t to worry about making ends meet, I would like to write and travel and experience other cultures and continue my Japanese studies, hopefully with a live-in Japanese girlfriend to help me practice.

2. What do you consider to be the best decision you've ever made?
Severing contact with my mother, the last relative in my life. Bad relationships drain and twist everyone involved and tend to drag down all they touch. Whether you are victimized, in denial, Catholic, or just plain stupid, the only real solution for a poisonous relationship is to completely end it. Despite people bitching at me by saying things like “But she’s your mother!”, I never looked back and have felt much better since.

3. If Ebi-chan promised to marry you in exchange for you funding and being fully supportive of her receiving breast augmentation so that she'd resemble an Asian Anna Nicole-Smith (though living), would you accept her offer?
That’s tricky. I don’t have the money and don’t like women who are too materialistic and make ultimatums, but then again I don’t have any other action going on in my life, so if I can borrow the money from question #1 then I’ll go for it. If the marriage doesn’t work, I can always divorce and/or kill and dismember her later. If I don’t like the boobs, I can flip her over and go for anal (the breasts will make comfy pillows for her). Seriously, although I don’t object to large breasts, I think most women look best in their natural state. Japanese women are normally thin with almond shaped eyes, round noses, and glossy, straight black hair.

When they try to Westernize themselves with breast augmentation, eye and nose jobs, and lightened hair, they lose their exotic appeal.

(although I would still do them, but just because I’m so nice)

4. If two immortals had a fight to the death, how would it end? Bonus add-on: Please estimate the total pay-per-view revenues from the battle.
It would be a never-ending slugfest with no possible winner. Imagine any fight you’ve seen. Exciting, ne? Now imagine that going on forever. Initial ratings would be high, but then the American public would wonder what else was on and the whole thing would eventually be relegated to ESPN72r3, sandwiched in between the Weather Channel and Basket Weaving Network. People would flip through the channel every so often and at one point would wonder when the immortals decided to stop fighting and instead debate the classics. “Next week on Immortal Smack-down – Moby Dick vs. Jane Eyre!” After advertising, publicity stunts, kickbacks, licensing fees, and lawsuits, I see a total profit of about $1.72 if the immortals do go for the leather bound hardbacks, in which case I hope your credit is good.

5. On your blog, you refer to yourself as "The Grantichrist" have you ever considered something more child friendly, like "GrantiClaus"?
My blog template and title are deliberately unfriendly. Whenever I use a standard template and don’t head the page with plenty of Voodou cannibalistic psychotic Satanism, I draw some mommy kitty xtian bloggers who comment a couple of times, then slowly realize I’m not normal when I leave a few comments in return talking about sodomizing Asian schoolgirls, then the inevitable e-drama ensues involving a lot of people deciding to move and hide their blogs (and in some cases being so stupid as to leave me on their distribution list when they tell everyone their new site because they had to escape me), so I figure this way you’ve all been warned.

BTW, this is post #1,100, bitches.

We interrupt our previously scheduled interview meme post

...to bring you the latest in awesome.

The Japanese slip-n-slide:

Direct link is here.

Tuesday - bleah

I’m still tired and my brain is operating in power-saving mode, so I stole this meme from Greenjello. There was a sixth question, but it didn’t match the 5 Things theme of the meme, and besides I generally lose interest when they go over five questions.

Five things on tomorrow's to-do list:
Go home for a nap for lunch.
Then eat Japanese food on the way back to work.
See Transporter 3 in the theatre.
Drink beer at Hooters.
Watch Hakaida.

Five snacks I enjoy:
Popcorn! (my dentist wants me to stop, but I have priorities)
Pocky.
Chuka wakame.
Beef jerky (especially teriyaki).
Japanese hotties.

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
Pay off all debts (the hospital still owns me).
Buy a new car.
Buy a new computer.
Buy a new TV.
Buy a Japanese girlfriend.

(and her twin sister. that’s right – Ebi-chan has a twin)

Five places I have lived:
Louisville, Kentucky, USA
Nashville, Tennessee, USA
Gelnhausen, Germany
Various tents in the sand, Saudi Arabia / Iraq / Kuwait
Atlanta, Georgia, USA (the most awesomest place in the world despite the paucity of hot J-bunnies)

Five jobs I have had:
Busboy at a steakhouse
Various fast-food jobs (including McDonalds, Wendys, and Subway)
Kmart shoe salesman
US Army Infantry (aka legal professional killer)Professional Author (I count the six bucks I made selling a story to Hadrosaur Tales, even though the check bounced and cost me $20 in banking fees)

Because I'm tired and have nothing to say

Mute Monday (sorta)

Despite the fact that she's a warrior who brandishes what can best be called the Tuning Fork from Hell, the images on the box and the web show her positioned in sexy and demure poses, not in battle mode.

Typical Japanese crossover material. Their horror movies can substitute for porn, as can many of their anime battle shows.

Tis the Season

For gluttony and greed. Going into the holiday weekend, I lamented the fact that my friends all had families* of their own and would be largely out of touch. Now I've experienced three wonderful days with nothing but selfish indulgence - reading, studying, exercise, TV, and food. The food was probably less exciting than what the rest of you endured (leftover Chinese, an awful turkey and dressing TV dinner, miso soup, ramen noodles), but considering I am at home resting and the rest of you are running yourselves into the ground to live up to your familial duties in the midst of jobus interruptus, I think I'm the lucky one. Ha ha haaaa, go suck it, you losers with family!

Plus which Tracy sent me some unsolicited stuff and didn't even demand sex in return, which is kind of classy. For the record, I approve of getting stuff. I got three things - a tin of wasabi gumballs (I'll try them out on sensei first), a t-shirt depicting a man lifting a woman's skirt on a train with a warning in Japanese "Beware of Perverts" (I'll wear it at a local J-elementary school and bag the little bunnies when they lean in to read the writing), and a sex doll of character Rei Ayanami from the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Since the figure is only 15cm tall (that's about 7 fluid ounces or 1.5 pound/feet of torque for you dunderheads who don't understand the metric system), it's going to be a little difficult to have sex with her, but me and my small penis will manage. BTW, there are at least three other female characters in that anime, so if someone wans to send me another, I can start having threesomes.

Darned if I'll ever figure out how Tracy discovered I have an interest in Japanese women and culture, but I don't care. This is already shaping up to be the bestest Hannukwanzaramadamasux ever. I can't wait for the next four-day weekend alone.

* by which I mean, families they don't hate and haven't carved out of their lives and that they hope are now dead or at least suffering intense pain.

Awesome Monday

First it started with Galmet - an all-girl Japanese death metal band.

Direct link.

Then I discovered Lujaneeza - the singer looks Asian.

Direct link.

Then I found Ikaten - I'm not sure if that's the band or the name of the show. They're not the prettiest J-bunnies ever, but chicks in bands (especially bass players and drummers) are hot.

Direct link.

Then I discovered Vyson - you can't really see them well here, but they are hot and the song title is Killer Pussy which makes them even more awesome.

Direct link.
Another song is here. It's all stillshots instead of video, but in the middle is a picture of the band, any one of which would make a good present to me.

And here is a creation using Haruhi and friends from anime series The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It's all kinds of awesome. A quartet of hot Japanese schoolgirls form a band with two dressed in schoolgirl outfits, Haruhi dressed as a sexy bunny, and the other lead guitarist dressed as a witch. The first song is Kill You by Dethklok - a lovely song for the ladies. Note - Pickles is singing instead of Nathan Explosion.

Direct link. Below is the same scene, but now it's set to Painkiller by Judas Priest.

Direct link. And again, but now it's Nemesis by Arch Enemy.

Direct link.

As the Head Honcho of the United States of Bunny, I approve of this growing trend. And here are a few more items of awesomeness:

It's Time for Change

And, no, this is not about the feckin' elections. I looged onto bloglines this morning and it reported over 300 new posts, many as recent as April of 2004. And it reported no activity for some people who did post. And it reported broken feeds for others.

So, I'm finally switching to google reader, a move that would fill me with more confidence if it didn't frequently report errors while I was trying to add all your blogs. If I used to comment on your site and abruptly stopped, it's not because I hate you. It's because you were lost in the switch. Either that, or I hate you. Leave me a comment and I'll visit your site to inform you of why I hate you.

And just to shut Crys up, here is a short vid of a forest and an ocean that has nothing to do with J-bunnies at all.




And another one with more ocean.




Direct links are here and here.

Hospitals and widgets and stuff

Some people have commented that it sounds like my hospital is one of the worst, but I think my experience is the typical American one – labyrinthine billing systems, mostly uncaring healthcare professionals, and a sense that they’re half guessing about what’s wrong with you and how to cure it. Most of the people who think my experience is unusual are the ones lucky enough to have been spared a lengthy hospital stay. The others tend to tell me stuff along the lines of “been there, done that, barfed on the T-shirt”.

I’ve been thinking about the MASH field hospital I once visited in Iraq. It wasn’t ours, it was owned and operated by some of our allies du jour. If you’ve ever seen the TV show MASH, it was pretty much the opposite of that. Doctors laughed and joked as if working on an assembly line. ER drama is usually only found in fiction. No attempts at sterility were made – in fact the sides of the tent were rolled up. If you’ve spent time in the desert you know that sand gets into everything, including surgical patients. I only hope a gut-full of sand is not fatal. It didn’t matter to the patient nearest to me since he died on the table. They placed him in the row between tables, lit up cigarettes and went to work on the next guy. I had to gingerly step over the corpse when it was time to move out.

Looking back, I have no clue why I was there. Neither the doctors nor patients were my comrades or victims. For the record, I’m claiming those six guys in the truck as my personal kills. I didn’t fire the missile that blew them up or pilot the plane or call the air strike or drive the vehicle that carried the guy who called the air strike, but I commanded and directed the vehicle that the dude drove that carried the other dude who called for the air strike launched by another dude against the six dudes and their truck. I know I’m not the only person alive who pads his stats, so don’t give me any grief. Or I’ll kill you.

Also, I added a black box widget to my sidebar. I got the idea from the PQ’s blog (it’s private, so you have to e-mail her if you want access) (she’s pretty in a non-Japanese way and has big boobs, so you guys will want access). The idea is that you click the black box, answer a series of questions and it will deposit you on a blog of interest as divined from your answers. I tried it and found a blog of someone who lives in my neck of the city who, based on her last post, is the most boring person in the known universe. She mostly talked about her dogs, who (based on the pictures) appeared to have more personality and better writing skills than the blog owner. But the widget still looks cool.

Appy-polly-logies for the poor quality writing, but my brain doesn’t want to cooperate with my life’s plans as of late.