Sunday, November 30, 2008

Tis the Season

For gluttony and greed. Going into the holiday weekend, I lamented the fact that my friends all had families* of their own and would be largely out of touch. Now I've experienced three wonderful days with nothing but selfish indulgence - reading, studying, exercise, TV, and food. The food was probably less exciting than what the rest of you endured (leftover Chinese, an awful turkey and dressing TV dinner, miso soup, ramen noodles), but considering I am at home resting and the rest of you are running yourselves into the ground to live up to your familial duties in the midst of jobus interruptus, I think I'm the lucky one. Ha ha haaaa, go suck it, you losers with family!

Plus which Tracy sent me some unsolicited stuff and didn't even demand sex in return, which is kind of classy. For the record, I approve of getting stuff. I got three things - a tin of wasabi gumballs (I'll try them out on sensei first), a t-shirt depicting a man lifting a woman's skirt on a train with a warning in Japanese "Beware of Perverts" (I'll wear it at a local J-elementary school and bag the little bunnies when they lean in to read the writing), and a sex doll of character Rei Ayanami from the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Anime Bunny!

Since the figure is only 15cm tall (that's about 7 fluid ounces or 1.5 pound/feet of torque for you dunderheads who don't understand the metric system), it's going to be a little difficult to have sex with her, but me and my small penis will manage. BTW, there are at least three other female characters in that anime, so if someone wans to send me another, I can start having threesomes.

Darned if I'll ever figure out how Tracy discovered I have an interest in Japanese women and culture, but I don't care. This is already shaping up to be the bestest Hannukwanzaramadamasux ever. I can't wait for the next four-day weekend alone.

* by which I mean, families they don't hate and haven't carved out of their lives and that they hope are now dead or at least suffering intense pain.

11 comments:

SJ said...

I will send you Japan themed dolls Godzilla, Mothra, King kong... try having sex with THAT!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I will send you my old Barbie dolls.

Leesa said...

Is Mothra male or female? It just occured to me to ask.

I like holidays that are surrounded in gluttony and greed.

Grant said...

sj - I've already had Mothra - bitch won't swallow.

eotr - she's too high maintenance. She always wants me to buy her stuff like dresses and cars and space stations.

leesa - Mothra is a hot Japanese chick whose job is to protect the Earth.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, glad you like the stuff. I had a great time picking them out, because I did the single holiday weekend, too, except I cooked a chicken instead of a TV dinner, because that shit just ain't right.

Grant said...

tracy - Boston Market's turkey with sweet potatoes and cranberry relish rules! Unfortunately, I ate part of a Hormel turkey and dressing meal then threw it out and switched to ramen.

Crys said...

yes, how did she know? she must be psychic

Kira said...

I don't think I'm allowed to have time off to relax, holidays or no holidays, so I'm not sure I'm envious of your situation. I just know the wine store would have dragged my ass in on the three OTHER days I managed to snag off if they had gotten wind of it. Either way, the time's gone. But I do envy the sex doll. Can I borrow her?

Grant said...

crys - admit it, you've been selling information about my secret desires.

kira - Yay! Tell Alex you want to have sex with an Asian chick now. We'll both want to watch.

Monogram Queen said...

I can always count on a case of the warm fuzzy holiday spirit here! Cheers Grant!

Sheen V said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one with impure thoughts about Rei (or Asuka)!