Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Metalmom Interview

Now being interviewed by Metalmom. The meme rules:

“The only rules are that you have to link back to the original post and you have to put these rules in your post:

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.”

Now onto the questions:

1. What is it about your beloved 'bunnies' that makes them superior to all other women?
Asian schoolgirls are cute and sexy. When they’re really young they take to the leash well so you can walk them around your neighborhood. When they reach the age of sexual maturity (about twelve), you can sex them up and not worry about lasting emotional anguish if you turn them into gyoza or nikujaga. They’re a source of lean protein and go good with soy sauce. They are especially awesome with Darth Vader.

Words cannot express the awesome

Okay, seriously I don’t obsess over Asians as much as I appear to in my blog. It’s just that 1) if I was designing my perfect mate she would be Japanese because 1.1) I’m studying the language and could use a study partner, and 1.2) the combination of tiny and cute with long black hair and almond-shaped eyes appeals to me more than big-tittied blondes. 2) Since I prefer Asian foods (and service) and because I don’t go to church (surprise) or belong to any other groups and nobody socializes where I work, I tend to meet more Asian women. On the downside, the Asians I have met tend to be, on the whole, the most racist people I’ve ever dealt with. They’re not immigrants – they’re colonists.

But who doesn’t find Asian schoolgirls cute?

might be Avitable

Here’s the exception that proves my rule.

2. If there were suddenly no more bunnies in the world, would you rather do an old woman or go gay?
I would like to go gay now since guys tend to have less drama and I could expand my wardrobe by dating someone my size. Unfortunately, guys are totally gross. And I don’t find elderly women unattractive. Especially the Asian ones who tend to look half the age of we Westerners.

3. You like Spiderman. Is it a man-crush? How do you think you'd look in the tights?
If I put on the tights, I’d look like a total dork who is trying to dress as Spider-man. That’s why I have a rule to never dress as anyone I like. I’d rather dress as a villain or hero I dislike just to make them look bad. I’d prefer to dress like that weenie Luke instead of Darth Vader.

4. You were born in the Year of the Rooster. Can you tell us about your cock?
It’s uncircumcised and at least average length by Japanese standards. It likes Asian schoolgirls but has to settle for self-abuse.

5. What is your favorite Japanese meal? (Non-human) Wanna go to Japan with me? Can you guarantee that you wouldn't ditch me to run off with another woman?
I think vegetable tempura, especially kabocha (Japanese pumpkin), is my overall favorite. I’ve tried, but I just can’t enjoy raw fish. Nikujaga (beef stew) is also good on a cold day, not that it ever really gets cold here. Yes. And no.

BTW, asking several questions per question is cheating, but I forgive you.

13 comments:

jGrrl said...

I had a bunch of banal drivel revving my speech motor but that dude, that sailor moon dude, he totally overwhelmed my visual circuitry and now I won't ever be the same again.

SJ said...

That... that... exception to the rule... oh god that I don't believe in smite me now and relieve me of this pain. YOU ARE EVIL Grant!

Monogram Queen said...

I am afraid to have you interview me.. oh what the hell! Interview me!

metalmom said...

Yes, I cheated with the questions but since when do you or I play by the rules? Your answers rocked though!!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I've done this meme before, including giving interview questions to others. But heck, Grant, I want to do it again. I want to know what you would ask me. Go ahead, do your worst!

Grant said...

jgrrl - yes, he is dead sexy, isn't he?

sj - admit it - you're masturbating to the photo now.

mq - finally, someone brave enough to let me ask them questions.

mm - I always obey the rules I approve of.

eotr - are you sure you want my absolute worst? If so, prepare for questions about anal sex and cannibalism with Asian schoolgirls.

Kira said...

I know better than to ask for an interview.

It's funny...I've eaten with you at a number of Japanese restaurants, and you'll enjoy just about ANYTHING they serve save raw fish. But I'm down with you not wanting raw fish. Some of my happiest meals have been when you tried the sashimi yet again and then gave me the majority of it to finish off :) Oh wait...that's usually ANY meal I have with you, actually.

Joe said...

I wonder how much therapy it's going to take before I can erase Q&A #4 from my memory.

Feel free to interview me, but don't feel obligated to do so.

Captain Dumbass said...

Thanks for the Chinese girls the other day. I wish more people would do that.

Grant said...

kira - I need you to visit soon so I can brave Pappasito's huge portions again.

joe - questions have been sent. The Internet gods command you to answer.

cda - nothing says Christmas like Chinese Cheerleaders.

PBS said...

That's quite an exception. Vegetable tempura is my favorite too, but that's not saying much as I haven't tried much else in that line of food.

tiff said...

Mmm, sexy sailor moon dude.

Grant said...

pbs - definitely try the gyoza (what the Chinese call potstickers).

tiff - the Internet is truly awesome, isn't it?