Thursday, December 24, 2009

The lamb of god was given to mankind so that we have to buy stuff and screw me over

It's Hannukwanzaramadamasux now, or as it should be called "Screw with Grant season". Hallmark should begin carrying a line of cards for that soon. "It's the most wonderful time of the year for the rest of us...sorry you happen to be Grant." Following is the chronological Grant experience for the last couple of weeks.

1. On Wednesday the 16th my Internet connectivity died at home. The next day I called Charter* (my cable company) and spent over 20 minutes on the phone with the automated system trying to diagnose the problem. (part of the lengthy time is because my crappy, terminal Gateway PC has trouble rebooting) Bear in mind that all I have is a cell phone that charges by the minute since the only calls I make are to order pizza or call Charter when their stuff breaks.

2. The automated system was unable to resolve the issue, so it transferred me to a person who REPEATED EVERY SINGLE STEP. After another 20+ minutes, he also admitted he didn't know the problem and he scheduled a maintenance visit for Saturday (and the guy in India said Saturday, not tomorrow).

3. On Friday, I got a call at work from another automated system that said the maintenance dude was on his way to my place and asked me to confirm that I was at home waiting for him. I canceled the appointment because my work number is not at home. To be fair, India is several hours ahead of us so when I called them Thursday evening it was Friday morning there and the guy probably thought next day service actually meant Saturday.

4. As my current PC is a piece of crap and is failing rapidly, I decided to troubleshoot it before setting another appointment. I swapped out the ethernet card and cables on both ends of the modem to no avail, but then I discovered the motherboard was having problems, specifically a part that interfaces with the network. At this point I assumed the computer is bad and I ordered a refurbished one from work to have around as a backup until my bankruptcy woes are over and I can afford a proper replacement.

5. I had also previously ordered a laptop for a friend, which then arrived. I plugged it into my cable modem, and discovered it couldn't connect either. I took the laptop to my cubicle and it worked there. So, having swapped out cables and components and computers and having proved that at least one worked at a different location, I assumed the issue was with the cable modem since it was the one thing I didn't replace.

6. I called Charter again and spent over thirty expensive minutes on the phone, this time with a guy in the U.S. who explained to me in clear English that the problem was obviously with my computer and that I needed to contact Gateway for support. I patiently explained twice how no computer will connect in my house even though they work in other locations, to which he placed me on hold, then returned and repeated that their network is fine and the problem is with my computer. Since he refused to send a technician, I asked if I could at least exchange the modem at a local store. He then agreed that it might be the modem and claims they'll allow the exchange. I still haven't done that because I needed Mapquest to find the closest place, but unfortunately I still have no Internet at home.

7. So then it was time to go to downtown Atlanta for my bankruptcy meeting with the trustee. I left very early because the downtown Atlanta street system was designed by insane dyslexic monkeys who huff Krazy Glue. I parked in the closest open parking deck, walked a half mile to the building, cleared security, and waited for my turn. In the meantime I got to listen to a lot of people go through their ordeal, many of whom didn't seem prepared for all of the questions. From my observations, I think it was partly because they periodically change what questions they ask and partly because the trustee altered them as she went along.

8. After a dozen or so cases ahead of me, none of whom had a single creditor challenge their filing, my turn came and I discovered that Best Buy sent a wad of paperwork to my attorney contesting $879.04 I still owe on my TV (part of this is due to late fees they've added since I'm no longer required to pay them due to filing). The Reaffirmation Agreement they want me to sign explains that they will graciously knock the amount down to $800. charge no interest, and I can pay the amount in 18 easy payments of $50 each (do the math). That's so much better than the original agreement I had with them, which required me to pay the full amount within 18 months with no interest added but failed to surreptitiously slip in a couple of extra payments. Since Best Buy was already fucking with me (claiming my payments were arriving late when others acknowledged they were on time) and due to the fact that my TV is now used and a discontinued model, I sent my attorney a note saying they can come get it or try again to get their math straight.

9. And that's been my holiday season - no Internet, TV being repossessed, and I'm only able to blog now because I'm at work. Also, since Best Buy contesting my filing was not anticipated, I get to pay extra attorney fees. And I've sent no e-cards to anyone because Wrongcards hasn't been working. It's a free site, so I have to admit I'm getting my money's worth.

Merry feckin' xmas. Pass the booze.

* I've quit hiding the brand names of companies that suck or screw me over. I consulted my blog's legal department on this issue, and they unanimously assured me that I have no legal department.

53 comments:

Avitable said...

Charter has a Twitter account that supposedly provides excellent customer service.

And is it "adamasux" or "adamsux"? Get it right!

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metalmom said...

Computer troubleshooter sites suck. Repos-especially at Christmas-suck.(I once had a car repoed on Christmas Eve!) Lawyers suck.

I do too, but only in a nice way. ;) I hope you have a better weekend.

tiff said...

The.

Hell??

Ricardo said...

They can't take your TV away. HA! Like to see them try it. fight it. You can beat this.

Sorry about your machine failing. I remember Gateway was really big back in the 90s but it seems like Dell knocked all the PC makers out.

Grant said...

Avitable - since their local, Indian, and automated services all suck, I somehow doubt they got their act together on Twitter, but it's a moot point since I have no Internet connectivity at home anyway.

Anonymous - I only find Asian women and Avitable to be hot.

metalmom - this year has been lawyers 1, medical community 0. Plus my lawyer is a hot V-bunny. But otherwise, yeah. So far no repo on the TV, but if they do I already have the money saved to buy an even better one, so I'm kind of hoping it's not a bluff.

tiff - Christmas is a holiday with an icon clad in red whose first name is an anagram for Satan and last name is a homonym for "Claws", so it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

Ricardo - I've been able to save money since I'm sticking to my budget and am no longer paying $1,250/month in medical bills (like I was before filing), so I'm half hoping they do take it so I can buy a bigger and better set from somebody else.

Monogram Queen said...

Hopefully you had plenty of booze~! INSANE - these companies are seriously in.sane.

Grant said...

Monogram Queen - with all the money I'm saving nowadays, I've got booze-a-plenty.

Kerry said...

So... I'm a little behind. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! HA Where's my freakin' card!?!? :P

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