#1 - Gilmore Girls / the L-Word: it's boys night out as all of the female members of the Gilmore Girls cast makes out with all the other female members of the show. Hilarity ensues when Madeline gets more lines than normal because she's way hotter than Louise or Paris, but not as hot as Lane. With a cameo from Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Willow (where cameo = anal sex).
#2 - NFL / MASH: the wacky hijinks of the camp's medical staff are viewed through the eyes of the children trying to survive in the bomb-ravaged countryside; specifically the girl children between the ages of 16 and 50.
Potential extra for NFL / MASH:
#4 - Star Trek / Sons of Anarchy: the Mayans and One-Niners join forces to eliminate the Sons only to discover they are protected by red-shirted ensigns who are surprisingly easy to kill despite their advanced weaponry. Fifteen minutes into the show, one becomes invincible after it is revealed that he is the son of Kirk's dead friend. Hilarity ensues as Spock flips out in a pon-far inspired rage and kills all of the expendable extras. With Christopher Walken to maximize the awesome.
#5 - Survivor / every drab mainstream sitcom: the stars of all the lackluster sitcoms will be deposited on an island with nothing to eat but a pile of chainsaws. Immunity challenges will be based on the participant's ability to not get cut into bloody sushi. Hilarity ensues as the winner staggers onto the rescue boat only to discover his or her reward is to be dressed like a seal (aka nature's burrito) and then dropped into shark infested waters.
Before I mail my suggestions in to the networks, do you have anything to add?