Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Don’t Read This, part 1

One Sunday I had the TV tuned in to G4, a geeky network with the typical view of Japan – they love anime, samurai movies, and Japanese video games, but they have no real knowledge or appreciation of Japanese culture. They were televising vignettes wherein the show’s hosts went around Tokyo and laughed at the strange foods and cultural differences. I left it on as background noise, but generally dismissed their bemusement.

In one segment, a guy interviewed an AV (adult video) star named Aya inside of a four-story porn shop. She was pretty, dressed in a sexy but not slutty jeans outfit, and seemed unabashed and to have a good sense of humor. I liked that. I’ve always thought Americans have a double standard about porn stars. We obviously spend a lot of money on the industry, but then we as a nation want to look down our noses at the workers. One of the Lynns told an anecdote on a local rock station about how once she applied for a role in a mainstream movie, used her real name, passed a screen test, and was cast in the part only to be recognized and immediately fired by the director who shouted “What is that porn actress doing on my set?!” (no explanation of how he spotted her on sight – he must have been on Pat Robertson’s mail list). I liked the Japanese way of treating the AV stars as legitimate celebrities instead of a dirty little secret.

Until the interviewer pulled one of her DVDs off the shelf and joked about how it contained sex scenes with a DOG. Ugh! At that point I felt like somebody had punched me in the gut. I’m all for open-mindedness, but I generally draw the line at anything that causes permanent harm or does not involve mutual adult consent. I didn’t actually see the DVD cover when he held it up to the camera, so I hoped that maybe he was only kidding. It continued to bother me over the next couple of days, so I checked G4’s message board to see what people were saying about that segment. One said they knew her work and she didn’t do bestiality, which reassured me a bit. Then another said “Is this her?” and included a link to a site. I was hoping it would just be a regular picture of Aya, but no – it was the full DVD cover explicitly showing her having oral and vaginal sex (no anal, though) with the dog. On top of that, I noticed that it was #2 in a series of five videos, each starring a different actress but with the same dog. It must have been a specially trained AV dog. Call your local obedience schools and ask how much that costs.

(note – the clip of that interview is here and is safe for work if your bosses don’t mind pixilated views of the inside of a porn shop)

Some time after I recovered from that icky blow, I learned of Japanese AV star Sakurada Sakura, who has made over 500 films and is apparently trying to hit every possible perversion (if there’s a niche for avocado nylon fingernail weasel fetishes, you can be sure she’s done it). She’s not only done all the bodily fluid / excretion types of porn, but also was in the first dog DVD and she did an incest movie with her mother. Those of you with mothers, tell me – have you ever looked at her and said “Oh, yeah, I’d hit that!”? Note – the incest movie was also one in a series, not a standalone film.

For those of you keeping score on who has bagged the most J-hotties, the current standings are: Dog – 5, Me – 0. In defense of Japan, I will say that it was the happiest looking dog I’ve ever seen. I envy its sex life.


Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, I can't believe you were talking about my MOM like that. EEWWWW.

Kira said...

I think the sex with the dog was consentual. I mean really--he did five DVDs!

SJ said...

Yeah any dog that did 5 dvds must have liked it!

Circe said...

I'm with you on the bestiality. A dear friend was going to send me some video clip once along this theme and I flat out refused. Nope. Don't bother. Not watching. EVER.

Joe said...

So clearly it's only a small step to a series of incest/dog/threesome videos.

And I think Kira is right about the dog. Did they interview him?

Monogram Queen said...


tiff said...

Was it a big dog?

Captain Dumbass said...

Um... not even sure what to say...

Grant said...

tracy - is she hot?

kira - maybe his agent could only negotiate a 5 porno deal before he was allowed to move into mainstream film, so it may be less consentual than we think.

sj - I only know that he did five in that series. He's probably the Japanese equivalent of Ron Jeremy, but thinner and better looking.

circe - I'll send you some more links so you can look first before agreeing that it's icky.

joe - I didn't watch the video, but even if they did interview him then I'm sure he gave all the usual stock porn answers. "The sex is great fun, and it gets better every time."

mq - it could have been worse. It might have been Howard Stern.

tiff - anytime I mention this experience, somebody always asks that question. And, yes, you know how those porn stars are hung.

cda - not offering to share your library of Japanese lesbian bestiality incest porn is always a good start.