Thursday, October 02, 2008

Hospitals and widgets and stuff

Some people have commented that it sounds like my hospital is one of the worst, but I think my experience is the typical American one – labyrinthine billing systems, mostly uncaring healthcare professionals, and a sense that they’re half guessing about what’s wrong with you and how to cure it. Most of the people who think my experience is unusual are the ones lucky enough to have been spared a lengthy hospital stay. The others tend to tell me stuff along the lines of “been there, done that, barfed on the T-shirt”.

I’ve been thinking about the MASH field hospital I once visited in Iraq. It wasn’t ours, it was owned and operated by some of our allies du jour. If you’ve ever seen the TV show MASH, it was pretty much the opposite of that. Doctors laughed and joked as if working on an assembly line. ER drama is usually only found in fiction. No attempts at sterility were made – in fact the sides of the tent were rolled up. If you’ve spent time in the desert you know that sand gets into everything, including surgical patients. I only hope a gut-full of sand is not fatal. It didn’t matter to the patient nearest to me since he died on the table. They placed him in the row between tables, lit up cigarettes and went to work on the next guy. I had to gingerly step over the corpse when it was time to move out.

Looking back, I have no clue why I was there. Neither the doctors nor patients were my comrades or victims. For the record, I’m claiming those six guys in the truck as my personal kills. I didn’t fire the missile that blew them up or pilot the plane or call the air strike or drive the vehicle that carried the guy who called the air strike, but I commanded and directed the vehicle that the dude drove that carried the other dude who called for the air strike launched by another dude against the six dudes and their truck. I know I’m not the only person alive who pads his stats, so don’t give me any grief. Or I’ll kill you.

Also, I added a black box widget to my sidebar. I got the idea from the PQ’s blog (it’s private, so you have to e-mail her if you want access) (she’s pretty in a non-Japanese way and has big boobs, so you guys will want access). The idea is that you click the black box, answer a series of questions and it will deposit you on a blog of interest as divined from your answers. I tried it and found a blog of someone who lives in my neck of the city who, based on her last post, is the most boring person in the known universe. She mostly talked about her dogs, who (based on the pictures) appeared to have more personality and better writing skills than the blog owner. But the widget still looks cool.

Appy-polly-logies for the poor quality writing, but my brain doesn’t want to cooperate with my life’s plans as of late.


NYD said...

Wiil check out the boobs er box, um I mean the widget.

Let me know if you figure out how to get your brain to cooperate, I can't seem to manage it either.

Next week, Friday -Promise!!!!!!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Why thank you for the shout out and the mention of my boobages, Grant. That was downright nice of you....;)

You seriously watched the docs do that? Stepped over the corpse too?

tiff said...

You can have the kills - I don't need them anyhow. ;)

Oooh, pretty black box! A diversion from work! Hooray!!

Monogram Queen said...

Oh my God I hope that poor girl doesn't stumble upon your blog and read how boring you find her! You crack me up Grant!!!!
That black box widges WAS fun but I got confused between Incubus and Sucubus.

Enemy of the Republic said...

No apologies needed. But what is it with men and boobs?

SJ said...

Big boobs Yay!

I claim the kill too... butterfly effect, baby!

Tracy Lynn said...

Hmmmmm. Boxy.

Grant said...

nyd - I'm going to try a strict regimen of naps and booze this weekend. I'll let you know if it works.

pq - yes, that was all true. The docs were doing there best, I'm sure - it's just not an ideal setup.

tiff - can you spare any other kills? I'm trying to pad my stats as a serial killer.

mq - "Succubus" is spelled with two c's, as everyone knows. I'd recommend Incubus for you unless you're no longer hetero.

enemy - it's breast cancer awareness month and I'm doing my part for society.

sj - how many kills does that make for you now?

tracy - I'm getting rid of it. Three tries and I hated every blog I saw.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Geez, I didn't know you'd been to my blog!

I think I may want to play with this box!

Anonymous said...

I found some very strange blogs via black box as well, some were worth the trip, some left me scratching my head... I wandered about town visiting adorable Japanese girls for you today - there was a gorgeous little thing working at the Fortune Market - you would have been very impressed :-)

Grant said...

real - sorry, box is dead. I didn't like it.

jgrrl - knock her over the head with something and mail her to me.