A "No, I'm not dead yet" post

Warning - post may contain useful information.

So, it's been almost 16 months since I returned to Deathstar Medical Torture and Anal Rape Billing (against my wishes, but recommended by my former doctor), 11 months since I filed for bankruptcy, 7 months since my debts were discharged, and of course they're still attempting to bill for healthcare inflicted on me during June of last year. So I contacted my lawyer, let her know I've told them and their various collection agencies that the court has discharged my debts, and she's evaluating the situation to see if it would be worthwhile to file a claim against them. I like how any regular jackoff like me who ignores court orders gets arrested and fined or jailed, but for wealthy hospitals we have to take them to court so the court can order them to obey the court's previous orders. I'm not optimistic. The hospitals know how to work the system better than anyone, along with working the old "We can't provide proper inexpensive healthcare because the mean old public is always successfully suing us for no reason" pity ploy.

And in other bankruptcy news, the economy and changes in credit laws have made it harder than in previous years to get credit approval after filing, which sounds logical until you consider that a) I have a history of paying my bills on time, and b) unlike most of you, I can't declare bankruptcy on anyone for another 9 1/2 years. Also I've heard reports of people who filed years ago and have been using credit responsibly and paying their bills on time are increasingly being denied credit. Just a little something to consider in case I've made filing sound like a grand adventure. Fortunately I have a shiny new car (with a lousy credit company that has already sent two letters informing me that they will be sharing my personal information with everyone the law allows) and three rejections for an auto loan and no need to find a new apartment, so I'm good for the time being.

And to make up for sharing potentially useful information with you, here is a bunny.

Hwang Mi Hee (황미희), 28 yo K-bunny.

The Awesomeness That Is My Life

The benefactors holding the title of my shiny new car didn't send me a payment book, just a letter welcoming me to the fold and telling me of the many wonderful ways I can pay them back, most of which involve getting on the phone with their sales people. I hate talking on the phone, especially talking to sales or customer service, so I chose the option to enroll and pay via eft online. On Sunday I tried and was told the site was down for maintenance. Last night I tried again and was told my personal information was wrong. (excuse me, I think I know my date of birth better than you) I called their help line figuring it was run 24/7 out of India since no hours were listed, tried their automated menu to no avail, attempted to speak to a human, and was told I had to call during Texas business hours (but not what those hours were). At least that promised the chance of reaching a fellow American who presumably spoke proper English. "Howdy, y'all. Whut can I dew ye fur tuhday?" So today I called, was connected to "Amy" with an unmistakable Indian accent, and then...AND THEN...

She took my information, identified and fixed the problem immediately, and even volunteered to stay on the line until I completed registration to ensure no further issues arose. My next course of action is clear - I have to complain to her supervisor. I wonder if their online complaint form includes "Failure to provide blog fodder" as a selection? "I contacted your so-called customer service department today, and was given absolutely nothing to complain about. What are you people thinking? Maybe it's in your improper language skills. Your department obviously doesn't understand concepts such as 'incompetence', 'willful neglect', and 'fiduciary misconduct'. Your pitiful country will never rise to the grandeur that is the United States until you do, and you will all be forced to live in squalor or marry a pudgy white blob of American man-flesh to escape it. Speaking of which, please give my e-mail address to 'Amy' because she sounded cute. And now let's practice some of that proper English - 'I'm a-fixin' to have a-hankerin' for some deep-fried pig intestines, y'all.'"

Bankruptcy is OVER

I got my official ruling from the courts - w00t! Under the 2005 Consumer Buttrape law, the courts are allowed to take up to six months before issuing the final ruling, during which time the creditors / hospitals / financial rapists are allowed to keep reporting your accounts as delinquent. I assumed that "up to six months" meant "at least six months, if you're lucky", but they surprised me a few months early. I enjoyed closing out over $25,000 of debt I left open in my MS-Money program. Plus it's good to know that the legal bunny provided all the info I needed to join the bankruptcy club (under the current law, you can file and have all the bad stuff happen to you but if you miss a step and don't give the secret handshake then you can still be left owing all the debt). In case the court notification was not official enough, I also received several offers to buy a new car, which is the sure sign that you have successfully filed.

The bad thing is that I will no longer have a reason to see the legal bunny. This comes at a bad time as I had to drop Dr. Bunny as my hot dentist. She was the best dentist I've ever had (which is kind of like saying I just ate the best broccoli ever), but she surrounded herself with such incompetents that I felt the price to get to her was now too high. Literally too high, since her office just tried to bill me for work they didn't do but claimed they did eight months ago (I overpaid for what they actually did at that time). I wrote her a nice letter and explained that I appreciated her care but could no longer tolerate her substandard hygienists or the front desk idiots and I would not be paying for care I didn't receive, plus I mentioned the bankruptcy and said she would have received an official notification from the courts of my intent to file if the office tards hadn't taken eight months to over-bill me for the second time. So now I'm down to only the two drug bunnies at Target, which is a distressing trend.

So, now I have to find an optometrist and a dentist, and I prefer for them to be Vietnamese-American women (I've had great luck with those). For some reason, the doc-finder web sites don't include an option for "hot Asian woman", which is such an obvious oversight. Maybe I should just approach Asian women at random and ask them to look deep into my eyes and sell me drugs.

Why I'm an Idiot

What would you think about a person who couldn't afford something, so they bought it on credit. Then they couldn't afford payments, so they took out a loan. Then they took out more credit cards, began transferring balances, and at the end had nothing but debt as they stood there wondering "Why don't I have any money?" Idiot, ね。

So how about someone who feels sick, goes to a hospital, is still sick upon leaving, goes to another doctor who sends him to another hospital who in turn sends him to more doctors and hospitals and at the end of it all he has no knowledge of what he had to begin with and no understanding of why he has new symptoms that the original illness didn't carry, plus he's still sick. (in case you're a little slow or under-caffeinated, I'm talking about me) Sure, I was following doctors' orders, but the only thing I actually got from the last rounds of treatments was a need to file for bankruptcy. After all the times I've said that doctors are not necessarily good people with your best interests at heart, I still followed their instructions until it became abundantly clear that all I was doing was shelling out money so that they could take actions that made my condition worse. Idiot.

The good thing about filing is that I thought I would finally get them out of my life. I had already canceled all future treatments and by filing I finally managed to get them to stop billing me for procedures performed a year and a half ago. Except the problem is that I never really got them out of my life completely. I'm a diabetic and I need pills, insulin, and syringes to stay relatively healthy. Unfortunately, the clinic I use never gives me prescription refills, forcing the pharmacy bunnies to call and ask for a faxed update. (the clinic apparently thinks diabetes is like acne and could clear up at any time) Now, for added fun, they take longer and longer to respond, sometimes calling me to say they are sending the new prescription when they really don't, sometimes calling to ask how much I take daily because they obviously don't write those unimportant things down. Last time I needed insulin, it took five days to get a refill and I ran out. This time I thought I out-smarted them and ordered over a week early, but it's now day six and still no word from them. This is either another case of medical blackmail (schedule more unneeded tests and visits or you don't get your meds), or they've decided to support the local retarded community by employing them at the clinic, or they're just incompetent at a level that would get them fired from their first shift at a McDonald's. How long do you think a fry cook would last under this scenario?

Cashier: Are the fries ready? Are the fries ready? Are the fries ready? Are the fries ready?
Fry Cook: Here they are.
Cashier: Where?
Fry Cook: ...
Cashier: Are the fries ready? Are the fries ready? Are the fries ready? Are the fries ready?
Fry Cook: Okay, now they're ready.
Cashier: Those are hamburger buns. We asked for fries.
Fry Cook: You should have them soon.
Cashier: Really?
Fry Cook: No.

So now I have to find yet another doctor in the hopes that this one will allow me to have my meds. I did an online search and found a hot looking Vietnamese woman in a nearby clinic which would complete my set of Western Asian professional hotties (lawyer, dentist, doctor, and two pharmacists), but 一番 drug bunny recommended a boring old white guy, so I'll start there. She says he actually gives refills and when he's not available, he has nurses there who actually respond to phone calls. Shocking! Wish me luck. If I don't update soon, I didn't survive my initial visit.

Totally boring update

I ordered the Wii Fit Plus from Amazon today because it is $14 cheaper than Best Buy, shipping is free, and I won't have to fight my way across a crowded store before standing in the checkout line, paying taxes, and waiting for the register to spit out a receipt the length of a mortgage contract. Amazon says their estimated ship date is December 14, but they also estimated a lengthy wait that didn't occur when I bought the Wii. It's probably due to Hannukwanzaramadamasux. Who knew it would occur in December again this year?

***Update***

I forgot to mention that Amazon offered me $40 off if I got their credit card. I had one before, but I used it to pay medical bills and the account has just been closed due to my filing for bankruptcy. Next time I order from them, should I attempt to get another one? I'm not worried about misusing it, I just wonder how that will look on my credit report (especially since I haven't had my day in court yet).

Continuing stuff continued

So now I have a Wii which rhymes with squee which I'm sure is no coincidence.

Last night I did my required online bankruptcy education which is boring and generally useless except that the credit company confirmed what the bunny lawyer said, which is that using a credit company to try to manage debt is usually a bad idea and will further reduce your credit rating. I say useless because, instead of dealing with modern reality, it reinforces all the old assumptions such as creditors are eager to work with you and will not send a bill to a collections agency if you agree to make payments and uphold your end of the bargain. The 2005 law requires that you spend two hours reading this drivel, which is hard to do in over 30 minutes if English is one of your first three languages and you have an IQ rated higher than "artichoke". In order to do the mandatory 115 minutes (you need a legal degree to understand how that equates to two hours), I read a chapter, took a test, played some Wii Sports, then repeated until they took my $50 and said I've now learned how to stop spending my money on worthless crap.

If you ever have to endure this form of education, the quizzes are easy to answer if you ignore common sense and just think fluffy clouds and rainbows and puppy kisses and all that shit. For example, budgets are not based on an accurate assessment of your income and expenses, they are based on your goals. Unfortunately, I'm not making that up. They also claim that everyone's take-home pay is about 80% of their gross pay after deductions (mine is actually about 65%). I think if anyone seriously tried to use their "education" as the basis for their finances, they would quickly and cheerfully become homeless.

But it's Friday and I have a weekend of Wii exercising ahead of me, so I'll close with a J-bunny.

Miina Yoshihara, age 22 - for all you dumb rednecks who are going to claim she looks twelve.

Quick cultural note - I don't know why they named it the Wii since the wi (pronounced "we") sound doesn't naturally occur in Japanese.

Things continue to happen

My third and last credit card acknowledged my filing and has canceled my account. That's over $25,000 worth of medical debt gone. Plus my court date is set for the 23rd of this month, which is good because a) I have more vacation to burn before I lose it, b) the downtown Atlanta traffic will not be as bad, and c) getting this crap over is the best Hannukwanzaaramadamasux present ever.

In other awesome news, I used some of the money I'm now allowed to keep to purchase a Wii from Amazon, which is scheduled to arrive tomorrow. I need exercise to help manage my diabetes (my blood glucose levels have been high recently despite insulin and pills), but I've gotten so bored with the treadmill that I can't stand to get on it any more. With the limited speeds I move at these days, it requires about two hours for me to get the amount of exercise necessary to lower my blood sugar. I decided I need a form of physical activity that can be performed in my apartment and can be adjusted to my weak health, and computer golf and bowling sound about right. If anyone knows of any other worthwhile Wii games, let me know, or better yet, just buy them yourself and send them to me. Bear in mind that I'm doing this mostly for exercise and don't want anything that doesn't require movement. Also bear in mind that I can't run, jump, or in general move faster than the speed of fart.

Why Asia is cooler than your continent, reason #23865

Condom Santa Claus.

Also, another credit card has canceled my account due to filing for bankruptcy. That's another $10k+ of debt gone.

Happy Thanksgiving

Until our estrangement, my Thanksgivings were spent with family and traditional holiday victuals - tasty food eaten in the presence of people who all hate each other. After I cut them out of my life, my new tradition was to get insanely busy at work during the week before the break, then suddenly find myself alone on Thursday going through the pantry foraging for scraps. One year I had nothing but a package of ramen noodles and a can of beans (I don't remember what kind, but it was one of the less popular beans like limas or something). This time was different.

Wednesday afternoon I went home, rested, then played video games and drank beer.

Thursday I had a hangover and spent most of the day unconscious. I remembered to go to the grocery this week, so I had a Boston Market turkey meal midday.

Friday I cleaned the apartment, then a friend who is undergoing a divorce and is currently living in his camper came over for the weekend. We ate yakitori for dinner, served to us by a hot Japanese woman.

Example of a hot Japanese woman

We cooked on Saturday and Sunday in between watching movies. He made cornbread and Brunswick stew which we ate with beans, slaw, and Kira bbq pork (I needed a nap after all that). For dinner, we had Japanese-style potato salad, another Kurihara side dish (rice and green peas - easy and yummy), and sauteed asparagus. For Sunday brunch I made nikujaga, a Japanese style beef potato stew. It was good, but not great. I doubt I'll bother with it again.

As an added gift, on Saturday I received an e-mail notification from Discover indicating they received my bankruptcy info from the court and have now canceled my account. It won't be official for another seven months, but that's about $10k of medical debt now off me. Plus which, while making the nikujaga I realized a) I've gotten better and cooking and b) I no longer hate doing it. Ironically, now that I can afford to eat out, I'm motivated to stay home and cook more. So, less debt, great movies, began a new anime series (make sure young children are present before clicking that link), enjoyable company, and my refrigerator is now filled with food, none of which is made of turkey or pie.

Best Thanksgiving ever.

Bunny and Bankruptcy

My bankruptcy petition has been formally filed, just in time for another doctor's bill to be turned over to collections despite the fact that I've been paying them hundreds per month. Now that I have a bankruptcy file number, I can fend them off if they try to harass me. In about a week, the courts will send my creditors official notification that they can all go suck it.

Today's bunny is Sayuki Matsumoto, age 23 (but her birthday is coming in early December). Kind of young for me, but at least she's old enough to buy me beer, and it's hard to find a popular Japanese model over the age of 30.

Vote received: 1. I have absolutely no complaints about her. I love that she has an actual figure. Of course, I love the tiny ones with no figure as well. She's made of awesome. But she's just not my favorite.

Nice guy that I am, I'm still willing to have sympathy sex with her in case coming in third hurts her feelings.

We interrupt the bunny flow...

...to bring you some more credit / bankruptcy information. As part of the process, I was required to pay a company for pre-filing debt education. Most of these credit / debt consolidation companies want you to call them so they can try to pressure you into paying them instead of your current creditors, but this one at least allowed me to do things online. I completed their assessment and received an insanely long pdf file, which can be boiled down to say:

1. I don't have enough money.
2. The reason for that is because I'm paying the healthcare community more than I make.
3. The credit company's suggested course of action is that I pay them even more every month.
4. That way, if I keep making payments to them larger than the ones I already can't pay, I'll be completely paid up in just over four years instead of four and a half if I pay me creditors directly.
5. They politely failed to mention that they may not make any payments on my behalf for several months, thus dragging my credit further through the sewer.
6. Or I could file for bankruptcy like a sissy boy who wets the bed.
   

On with the bankruptcy. We now resume the bunny posts.

What I’ve Learned, part 3

1) Do not use credit cards to pay for medical procedures unless you are absolutely certain that you know the full and final amount of the bill(s).

2) You will never know the full and final amount of the bill(s). In my case, I received initial bills up to sixteen months after treatment.

3) On second thought, although credit companies have an arsenal of ways of screwing you once you need them, the healthcare community now has more. If your bills are more than you can pay completely after three months (especially if the remaining amount is under $1,000) (assuming you know the full and final amount of the bill(s)) (which you don’t), go ahead and put them on a credit card since the credit industry has to provide you with prior warning before reaming you with a flaming spiked dildo.

4) Of course, since you will never know if they are through billing the shit out of you, paying the bills with credit would be like walking off the roof and hoping the building is only one story tall.

5) Just accept the fact that, if you need medical attention and they charge you more than you can afford to pay completely within three months, you and your credit are already screwed.

6) On third thought – don’t get sick in this country. That’s what I’ve truly learned. If you get ill, hop on a plane to France and don’t return until you’re well.

Seriously, I think the best thing you can do is to argue them down to the lowest monthly payment possible (if you don’t come to an agreement, they’ll turn it over to a collection agency anyway), get the agreement in writing, make your monthly payments while trying to save as much as possible, then pay the remaining bill(s) when the remaining amount is in danger of dropping below a thousand dollars. There’s no guarantee, but that’s probably your best bet if you’re trying to pay your bills and protect your credit rating.

Good news – I’m now through with sharing semi-useful information and can return to posting pictures of hot Asian women.

Bankruptcy

I’m not sure how much of this was changed by the 2005 law passed to better protect the poor corporations from the mean old public, but I can tell you how this currently works. Understand that it’s early in the filing process. I’ll pass along any reamings surprises as they occur.

There are two types of bankruptcy – one where you have to pay creditors for five years before you are free, and the other where your assets are liquidated but you can stop payments immediately. I opted for the latter, but it’s not available if you make too much money (where too much = more than the average person in your area). Fortunately I live in a fairly wealthy suburb of Atlanta, but still I just barely managed to squeak under the line. Bear in mind that I’m an IT pro so I can demand more than McDonald’s wages, but I work for a contracting company (contract work pays less than working directly for an employer) who cut our pay by 10% at the beginning of the year, takes excessive deductions from us (they dropped the 401k program on me without my knowledge or consent, and my health insurance costs more than twice what it would if I purchased it directly as an individual), and who gives us no paid holidays or sick days and won’t allow us to use vacation time to cover days missed due to illness or hospitalization. As it turns out, if my employer wasn’t so crappy and I didn’t spend so much time out sick, I would have been deemed too rich for full bankruptcy. This is a recurring theme in my life. Last year I was deemed too wealthy to get healthcare from the VA, and the first Bush administration decided I was too rich to attend college without putting myself in debt to the government for life (I was living off less than $12k/year at the time).

By liquidating my assets, that means using my stocks, bonds, 401k plan, and other properties I may own that are not essential. It does not include my house (which I don’t have), car, personal possessions or bank account. Of course, if I had those other things I would have already sold them to try to pay off the debts. I did already liquidate my 401k, which is the only way I could have afforded the attorney. If you wait until you run out of money before filing, it’s too late. Even if you don’t hire an attorney, there are still legal fees and the 2005 law requires you to pay a credit counseling service for debt education and evaluation (two separate things, each with a fee). Also, they seriously frown on you using credit while in the process of filing, so paying for those things with your Visa is out.

My next step is to fill out even more paperwork, submit more stuff to my lawyer, and do the first part of the credit application. After that we get a court date, do the official court thing, and then wait six months for the final judgment to go through. During this wait period (I think this is also due to the 2005 law) my creditors can continue to report my accounts as delinquent, add interest and penalties, and further wreck my credit. However, the medical community already pre-wrecked my credit, so that’s a wash. The hospitals will have to stop sending me old bills or creating new bills for old procedures, but if they claim to have outsourced work to someone unknown to me (someone I therefore can’t contact them to tell them I’m filing), then they could still bill me. It sounds far-fetched, but it’s already happened to me once.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

What I’ve Learned, part 1

We’ll return to the usual bunnyosity in the near future. I just wanted to do a series of posts informing you of the things I’ve learned about bankruptcy, the credit industry, and the business side of healthcare. Legalish disclaimer – I don’t guarantee that I know all the laws in this country or whether or not things have changed since my experiences. These are just observations I’ve made that may conflict with your views of the system, especially if you had a rural conservative upbringing like me, and you may want to consider them before you do something fun like join the military, rack up credit card debt, or have a major illness.

Myth #1: if you serve in the military, the government will take care of you for the rest of your life.

My experiences: if you try to buy a house with a VA loan, the paperwork is even worse than with conventional loans or other government programs. If the house is unusual in any way, it will not meet regulations and you will be denied the loan. Real estate companies know this and tend to prefer buyers not using a VA loan.

If you need healthcare, pray that the current administration has not decided to exclude you for some reason. The VA sends updates to veterans, but only when the news is good. When the Bush administration decided to exclude people who gross more than $30k/year, I didn’t hear a peep from them. When team Obama raised the dollar amount and based it on one's adjusted gross, the VA sent me a letter informing me of what a great job they were doing. Note – the VA has several categories for people. I may have been able to get treatment if I had been awarded the purple heart, but although I did serve in combat, I foolishly didn’t manage to get shot. Just shot at (not good enough).

Side note – several members of my extended family and I have used VA hospitals throughout our lives. If you can get past the paperwork, they’re pretty good. Long waits are the norm, but I haven’t seen a VA hospital or clinic run as incompetently as the worst privately owned and operated ones I’ve had the misfortune of finding. The worst things I've seen them do consistently are that they give people unnecessary X-rays to pad their budget, they're reluctant to give out meds because there is no profit margin, and they don't try to minimize scarring when you have surgery.

Myth #2: if you are making even ridiculously low payments on your bills, hospitals have to sack up and take it for as long as you keep paying.

My experiences: this appeared relatively true until early this year. The healthcare places I’ve dealt with over the last year and a half had many tricks for getting around this, such as not providing e-mail or regular mail addresses, leaving phone numbers off bills, changing phone numbers and billing offices frequently, and by making you leave messages that go unanswered instead of allowing you to talk to a representative. One even neglected to bill me at all for sixteen months, then turned it over to a lawyer’s group for debt collection.

All of this changed early this year and I’ve heard of people being affected in different states, so it’s clearly another federal butt-reaming, although I haven’t been able to discover the specific law or act. Now (as the hospital billing offices will gleefully tell you) (if they even bother to take your call) they are only required to work with you for three months, and then they have the discretion to turn your account over to a collections agency even if you have an agreement in writing that states you will make payments and even if you make those payments. The problems associated with this are a) accounts in collections are assumed to be there because you are delinquent, thus wrecking your credit, b) they are not required to tell you that they have put your account in collections (assuming they even take your call), and c) your account is worth more to them as a deduction if you owe less than $1,000. I currently have three medical bills in collections (that I know of), each under the $1,000 mark. Even if you attempt to pay your debts, there is nothing in the system to prevent them from taking your money until it drops below $1k, then sending it to collections where it can be used as a deduction until you find the debt owners and pay it off, during which time it will damage your credit score.

More to come when I have time. Leave any questions you might have in the comments section.

Here's another chance for you people to give me some actual useful advice (as if)

I went to a bankruptcy lawyer yesterday who knew less than I'd hoped (she still believes hospitals are kind, forgiving entities eager to work with anyone willing to stay in touch and make payments) but she turned out to be a tiny hot bunny, so all is forgiven. Before you even ask, no, I will not be asking her out because a) she's married, b) I don't like to cross lines in a professional relationship, and c) the circumstances under which we met are not ideal. The following conversation definitely did not take place.

Me: "I've been ill for about a year and a half now and the resulting medical bills have driven me to the brink of financial ruin."
Bunny Lawyer: "I want you now."

As a brief recap, I got sick and then the medical community has been billing the shit out of me ever since. I've received bills as late as 16 months after the procedures were performed, have been told by the hospitals that they have no way of knowing when (if) it will ever stop, and now three hospitals / doctors' groups have sent my accounts to collections even in cases where we had written repayment agreements and I was paying the agreed amounts on time. The hospitals / collections agencies have mostly failed to contact me for repayment, preferring instead to wreck my credit with their actions and to use the opportunity for write-offs. Additionally, the credit card companies, seeing that I maxed out my credit making payments to the hospitals, responded by doing things like lowering my limits, raising interest rates, and pretending they didn't hear me when I asked that my accounts be closed and put in repayment status. My rural conservative upbringing taught me certain things, such as if you served in the military then your medical needs would always be met, hospitals have to work with you if you can't pay their bills immediately, and you should always repay your debts. I've already learned the first two are complete BS and, considering their actions, I no longer feel the need to deal fairly with them.

So, my current viable options (the lawyer didn't recommend debt consolidation companies, and I had a bad feeling about them anyway) are to keep going as I have been, try to track down all the bills that have been sent to various collections agencies without my knowledge, keep paying, and by 2011 I should have wormed my way out of all the direct medical debt but still be left with enough credit card debt to last the rest of my life (note - that plan only works if my car doesn't break down again like it already has twice this year and if I don't have any further health issues), or file bankruptcy. If I decide to file it will cost me a hefty chunk of change (but since I will no longer be making payments to creditors I'll make that money back in a month) and my credit rating will take a hit, but the healthcare community has already wrecked it so that's a wash. Most people think you can't get credit after filing (not that I want any for anything other than a new car loan), but I've learned from the movie Maxed Out and friends who have filed that the assumption is untrue. Friends of mine actually started receiving more offers for credit after they went bankrupt.

So, can anyone think of a reason not to file other than that's not what a good xtian federalist Republican would do and if I cheat the medical community I'll just force them to overcharge for unnecessary treatments and then they'll start using unethical billing practices and the terrorists will have won?

Moo

1) Go see The Hurt Locker, unless you are a wuss or have small children in tow. It's a great film that has received no funding from Hollywood or any advertising. It's been traveling the world, visiting film festivals and quietly winning awards, and now it has arrived in America with no fanfare. Full review of its awesomeness is pending.

2) If you want to understand why the medical industry would try to push me into bankruptcy instead of just taking my money, watch Maxed Out. It's about the credit industry, but the hospitals seem to be pursuing the same business model. Two key things I remember from it - if you are poor and making minimal payments, they will try to push you into bankruptcy because you are worth more to them as a deduction than a small source of income, and their studies show that the majority of their profit is derived from people who are bankrupt.

3) And now I finish with another picture of cute bunny Shoko Hamada.

This is what I get for feeling happy about something

Last night I managed to walk three miles on the treadmill (w00t - stud!), which is the level of exercise I need to maintain in order to reverse the complications I suffer from diabetes. Today I feel good - no ill effects, no fatigue, no sharty doom, so I'm ready to do it again tonight.

I wanted to do a review of The Hurt Locker today (good movie - go see it - do not bring your young children, you morons - the R rating is there for a reason), but I'm too stressed because the medical community decided to kick things up a notch again. While looking over my monthly payments and wondering how I could have handled all the new bills I received last month without going massively over budget, I discovered that one doctors' group from the place I previously called the good hospital didn't send me a bill for September. The portion of August's bill that I didn't mail in with my monthly payment only listed a phone number, so I called and asked what up. They said in September they decided to hand my account over to a collections agency and they weren't handling my account anymore.

Seriously. For real. They sent me a bill in August with a note saying we agreed to monthly payments, I made the payment in August, and the next month they decided I was now in arrears. That makes two hospital bills in collections, one of which they never actually sent to me, plus another on the way despite the monthly payments I've made.

Then I decided to check on the progress of my request to withdraw all of my 401k funds, and I discovered - no progress. They haven't even acknowledged the request yet. On the plus side, since they're dragging their feet they made another deduction from my pay which means the total amount in my fund is over $3,000 now. On the downside, no it isn't because they've lost another $300 since last week. When my employer initially surprised us with a 401k deduction, I tracked down the owning company and created a diverse (and hopefully safe) portfolio. When they sold it to the current company, I decided not to bother and just let them do their default. They invested 100% of my funds into their own company which is apparently a real dog. In order to avoid legal woes I won't mention their name here except to say that it rhymes with Rape Me, um, Norgan.

So, my credit is now shot between two (soon to be three) accounts turned over to collection agencies and credit cards that are maxed out with medical debt. My new plan is to not pay any more medical bills and file for bankruptcy. It seems to be the only chance I have of ever getting them out of my life. If anyone has any useful advice to share (yeah, right), please do so at this time.

For your reward for reading all of this, I give you another picture of megane bunny Ami Tokito:

Although you probably just scrolled to the end of this post, masturbated, and are now going to leave without a comment.

Unending medical hell, part the latest, plus a bunny

It's now been sixteen months since I was hospitalized and, in order to commemorate the event, I received a letter from a team of lawyers looking to collect on a bill from the first day I stumbled (literally) into the Deathstar Healthcare and Anal Rape Billing system. I'm following their instructions and sending the lawyers a letter requesting verification and documentation for this bill, but I'm sure it will turn out to be legit. It's probably the idiotic hospital that screwed up some of the billing (again). For added fun, Deathstar sent me an updated bill showing I only have two payments remaining until they're out of my life, and then they followed-up with a threat to turn my account over to collections if I don't pay immediately. Plus which my insurance company shows they are attempting to bill me again for something else just as soon as they can get their paperwork straight. I'm making it a person goal to attempt to get these people out of my life for good by the end of this year.

People talk about our healthcare system, but do we even have a system? We have a market for healthcare and a few (very few) laws protecting the public, which vary greatly from state to state, but I don't think that counts. But when you live in a Jebus-intense state like Georgia, you understand that if you claim our healthcare isn't already the greatest in the world (and therefore impossible to improve) then the terrorists will have won.

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For some reason, cat ears are in amongst young Japanese women. I saw several wearing them at JapanFest, including one who wore a tail as well.

Kitty bunny!

It's Friday, here's part of a meme

Stolen from the Monogram Queen. I hate long memes and some of the questions were stupid, so I'm just doing select ones. BTW, it's her birthday today, so feel free to send any gift money to me via the donate button and I promise I'll think about passing it along.

1. Please share one middle school memory. It can be good, bad, ugly, funny. Pictures or words, I don’t care, just share.

In the 4th grade, we moved from Kentucky to Tennessee. KY and TN have a "friendly" college basketball rivalry that is twisted into a complete fucknuts fundamentalist-style form of hatred by younger kids who live in isolated rural communities like where we lived. I knew of the rivalry between adults but didn't know telling my fellow students that I was from Kentucky would ensure that I got into a fight every day during recess while the teachers hid in their break room. I never won any because none of my classmates had been taught anything as silly as "don't attack a guy with a group of 13 people just because he was born across the state line".

My most memorable fight came on a day I wore my favorite shirt, a denim Western-style shirt with fake pearl buttons. That day I fought a 5th grader and his flunkies. Like Ron White says, I don't know how many it would have taken to kick my ass, but I know how many they used (4). Also, the 5th grader had failed every other grade and had only been passed along to get rid of him, so he was 16 at the time. Yes - he had to shave and would have driven to middle school, but his family was as poor as everyone else and couldn't afford a second vehicle. I remember this one most of all because a) while on my back being pounded, I aimed a kick at the alpha male's face that missed by about a millimeter (damn - so close), and b) because I had to go through the rest of my classes with blood and grass stains on my now ruined shirt (one sleeve had been completely ripped away, although I was still wearing it, and most of the buttons were now missing) sitting in class while the teachers pretended not to notice that I was bleeding. At least when I returned to class in a seriously damaged condition, they were polite enough not to call on me.

Public education's official motto should be "Filled with suck."

2) You're favorite Beatles Song: Helter Skelter.

4. Would you rather host a party or be a guest? No.

7. If you are (or when you were) single, what is the kiss of death for you concerning the opposite sex? (That is, what is one trait or behavior or habit or anything at all that immediately turns you off from considering that person a potential match for you?)

Insincerity. The kind of corporate mentality wherein they pretend to like you as long as you pay for things, but abruptly drop you when you have nothing tangible to offer in return. I've often thought I wouldn't mind having one of those prostitute girlfriends (the kind that exchange sex for gifts and money), but then I realized that would mean she would have abruptly dropped me when the hospitals began billing the shit out of me. Being sick and broke is not when I would like to be dumped.

10. What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie? Tropic Thunder.

Not at all Random Tuesday Thoughts

So, the Deathstar Healthcare and Anal Rape Billing monstrosity is now threatening to turn my account over to collections if I don't pay them the remainder of my medical bills RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW, despite the facts that:
a) I've called them several times to arrange payments, but they have an impenetrable bureaucracy (their only contact info is a phone number which leaves you on hold for five minutes, then announces they're too busy to talk to you but you can leave a number and they'll call you back, which I did but they didn't)
2) I've been making monthly payments around $300/month in an attempt to finally get them out of my life
iii) at the going rate I'll have them paid off by the end of the year
四) they're still sending me new bills
All of you telling me about how hospitals have no choice but to silently sit there and take it as long as you're paying them a pittance every month need to have your meds adjusted, or you're living in some hippie commie socialist atheist place that does ungodly stuff like aborting pregnancies, providing healthcare for all, and perpetuating shows like Degrassi.

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I'm processing the paperwork to withdraw all of my 401k funds to help squeak by the rest of the year. My 401k plan consists of my employer taking a deduction from my pay without my permission or knowledge (seriously, I had to research the issue when I noticed my pay mysteriously dropped - this happens periodically) which goes to a company that apparently invests in reliable business ventures like lottery tickets and dehydrated water, which then sells my account to another company that announces my money will be untouchable for four months while they handle the transition, who then loses more money on the stock market and tells me that if I want to borrow any of my remaining funds I have to pay them $50. Fortunately, I found a loophole hidden deep in their documentation that allows me to withdraw my funds without paying them if I have one of the hardships on their list. #1 was UNPAID MEDICAL BILLS, so I didn't have to read any further.

Now I just have to make a copy of any of my bills (each one exceeds the remaining funds in my 401k) and send it to them. When you work for one of the largest tech companies in the known universe, this is (of course) a problem. Twice a day I make the rounds on my floor looking for a copier that is both functioning and not currently printing the collected works of Stephen King. I'm now starting week two of my hunt with no success.

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BTW, I think I've figured out the 401k process for you ordinary regular jackoffs who don't understand the American banking system. Once a week, your (along with several others') money is withdrawn from the bank and placed on the floor of the executive conference room. A dyslexic hamster (his name is Bort) on crack is loosed in the room while all the executives try to shoot it with a tranquilizer gun. If Bort piddles on your money before they take him down, they add a dollar to your pile and put it back in the vault. If not, they spend the money on martinis and golf and send you a ten kilo catalog explaining how market downturns have affected your account, how much money you would have made if you lived in another country and were smart enough not to do business with them, and how the cost for printing the catalog went way over budget.
/end educational portion

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Babel: a quick movie review.
Movie = Very Good.
Best part = naked bunny.
Worst part = have to be in the mood for a long film with no 'splosions.
Take that, Roger Ebert.

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I recently added a hidden hit counter so I could look at the weird things that bring people to my blog, and I discovered the overwhelming majority (>75%) of keywords leading people here involved things like "pictures of Catherine Bell." So, to increase traffic further let me just state you will find no PICTURES or IMAGES of CATHERINE BELL on my site. I did once post a pic of her when (in my pre-bunny days) I listed the top five actresses I'd like to do, but it's now long gone.

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And here is a repost of goth bunny Shoko Hamada: