Georgia in the news

It's never good. But at least this is better than when they got Creationism into the local science classrooms.

WWJD

Christian pole dancing.

Key quote - "For them, this is about getting closer to God." So he IS into sexy chicks slithering around poles. God's my boy.

Jesus wept

Note - the dead gorilla post was an accidental publish from Formspring.

As you've probably heard, the Westboro Baptist Church won the right to picket the funerals of soldiers with their anti-gay hate speech. I believe that everyone should have a right to free speech and that if it doesn't apply to the unpopular it really doesn't exist at all, but several states also have laws making it illegal to launch a personal attack against someone, either physically or verbally. Asking the supreme court to allow people to be sued or treated as criminals because their views are so universally disliked was the wrong request, and they rightfully slapped that bitch down. Instead the politicians should have stuck with the "their actions cross the line and become a personal attack rather than merely an unpopular opinion" angle instead. There's no reasonable way you can argue that the dead soldier's family and friends will not be forcibly exposed to their opinion and no logical reason they wouldn't feel hurt by it when they do act at hospitals and cemetaries. Or if nothing else, they could say that using the Marines' "semper fi" motto in their hate speech was a violation of copyright law and then allow the marines to do a demonstration of their own, mainly on how they've been expertly trained to storm the beeches, secure an objective, and then wipe out a tiny Baptist church full of haters.

Of course I think the best measured response was in a previous story that I read that included a link to Westboro's site which had been hijacked and repointed to drop the user on a hardcore gay porn site. And now having said hardcore gay porn site (in fact, I said it twice) I shall further say Naughty Asian Schoolgirls, free Viagra, and ninja to further inflate the hits on today's post. Plus I will close with a bunny.

Why Atlanta is way better than where you live

We have a circus with strippers, a pimp, and drug use.

Key passage: "There are ladies pretending to strip, men throwing money at her, then a pimp comes on the stage and the woman’s boyfriend sells her to him and the pimp slaps her when she refuses to cooperate. They’re pretending to smoke marijuana and sniff cocaine."

That's more interesting than any circus I've seen. Usually they just have tigers and elephants and scary stuff like clowns.

Update on International Piracy

Counterfeit laundry detergent.

The economy has hit even the Sith

Darth Vader robs convenience store.

Rejoice!

We no longer live in a world without a guy named Stormhammer Deathclaw Firebrand.

I once pondered a name change to Lance Luciferian Black, but that name is way more awesome. Have you ever considered a name change? What name sounds good to you?

And in foreign news, in Japan even the Kit-Kats are superior.

3 days until Granthain '10.

Not every post is about hot Japanese women

Nurses in Taiwan posed nude to advertise their clinic only to face scorn from a nursing organization claiming they have cheapened the profession, plus the clinic now faces fines and the possibility of being shut down. Despite being relatively close to Japan, they seem to have morals (by which I mean the ability to blow things out of proportion) closer to the U.S.

I wouldn't have posted this except that I finally found the photos in question, and they are extremely hot. Note to everyone involved - if a woman is naked but props and camera angles cover the naughty bits, it's not really a nude photo. All women are completely naked all the time underneath their clothing. Even though they are not technically nude photos, they are not quite what I would deem as work safe for the United States of the Easily Offended, so I'm just including links instead of posting the pictures. Knowing what a picture is worth, following is 13,000 words (most of which are "fap, fap, fap") of linkage.

Pic1 Pic2 Pic3 Pic4 Pic5 Pic6 Pic7 Pic8 Pic9 Pic10 Pic11 Pic12 Pic13

I would suggest that Taiwan take a lesson from Japan, but Japan's youngest pinup model is eleven so maybe we don't need to be that licentious (no, the last link does not go to a picture of her, you pervs). I wonder how much it would cost to import some morals from France or Italy.

It's Official

Japan is now ranked the #1 (一番) best country in the world. I especially like the way the article mentions part of the reason Japan was chosen was due to its diversity. We need to get some of that in America.

In case you're still not convinced that Japan is the most wonderful place on Earth, I give you Obama sushi and humping animal banks. Game, set, and match.

Also, below is Anno Haruna, J-model and gamer extreme, who claims she can clear the first level of Mario Brothers literally with her eyes closed.

I loves me some geeky J-bunny.

Appy-polly-logies

If I'm not around on the net much in the near future, it's because I have the interminable head* cold of doom ('09 tour) which, coupled with my other infirmities, is leaving me with just enough energy to drag myself to and from work each day. Since my brain shutdown also includes my imagination, I've had no recent desire to write fiction. Insted I have decided to write the definitive non-fiction work (read: pamphlet) on all I know about women. I'm calling it "All I Know about Women I Learned from Watching Anime and Playing Japanese Video Games". For instance:

1. Although they may act like they don't like it, women secretly enjoy being groped in a public place.
2. Proper military attire for female soldiers should make the average stripper blush (because at any time, a soldier can be called upon to do her patriotic duty, by which I mean a lap dance).
   

   

3. A woman's true age of sexual maturity / consent is apparently around ten.
4. The most appropriate punishment for any offense is to make the woman publicly undress.
5. A normally developed twelve year-old should weigh about 85 pounds and sport a 38DDD bust. Apparently our country (USA) is full of genetic freaks.
6. And, of course, the first rule of J-porn (which also applies to real life):
   

   

I'm still composing the list so I can hopefully fill out both sides of the pamphlet. Feel free to make suggestions in the comments section.

* I've subsequently renamed my head The Mucus Factory. Production is at an all time high.

Interview Meme – part the Penultimate

From Enemy of the Republic: 2. Name 3 American officials who are currently under the Imperious Curse and doing the Dark Lord's bidding? Explain your answer.

The Dark Lord bit is a bit subjective and I’m not too well versed on politicians anyway, so I’ll interpret this one as which three politicians I think have recently been acting as though someone else has been controlling their actions to the detriment of their career and the American public. I’ll start with:

Mayor Rudy Giuliani. He looked like a strong candidate for the Republican presidential nominee, someone who could perhaps reform the tarnished image of Republicans created by President Bush, and who might best serve the majority of Americans with his political mix of social liberalism and financial conservatism. Unfortunately, whoever ran his campaign (probably Osama bin Laden) decided the best course of action would be to wait until he had been completely eliminated before running. Seriously, when Romney and Huckabee are drawing more press than Giuliani, it’s because he’s using the “Campaigning through Hibernation” model.

Senator John McCain. I had generally been a supporter of McCain, mostly because when I noticed him in the press it was for doing something good, such as calling out the other senators for trying to attach greedy riders to anti-terrorist bills (famous McCain paraphrase - “The sea lamprey, in my opinion, does not pose a clear and present danger to national security”) or criticizing President Bush for trying to push through his anti-gay agenda, citing his belief that good Republicans stood for keeping government out of people’s lives instead of trying to regulate personal relationships. Then during the last days of the campaign he traveled to California to lobby for the passage of Proposition 8. What happened to the McCain I respected? Either he turned into an old person afraid of being banned from heaven so he decided to stack the deck in his favor, or he feared his personal politics weren’t grabbing enough redneck fundies from Obama, or he was hit with the Imperious curse. You decide.

I was going to mention Cynthia McKinney, Georgia politician and daughter of a famous civil rights movement leader, but despite the accusations of anti-Semitism and her racially biased suck-up letter to a Saudi prince schmoozing for dough in the wake of 9/11 and her attack on a police officer, I can’t actually accuse her of acting as though under a curse. She consistently behaves like she smokes crack and whacks her head with a lead pipe. Instead I’ll choose another local politician / offspring of a civil rights movement leader – Ralph David Abernathy III. Given the current Obamarama mood in this country, I’ve been able to find many more articles praising RDA3 for his ability to be of the same race as the president-elect, but I had to dig to find stories of things he’s actually done. The media seems to have forgotten about how he attempted to carry marijuana through the airport upon return from his Caribbean vacation and how he bounced the check he used to register to run for reelection, although there is some mention of those items here before the report on how he lead police on a high speed chase. Also, his impeachment is a matter of public record, although details of all his crimes (mostly things like theft and violating his public office oath) are difficult to track down. What I remember most was, after bouncing the check, he publicly accused his wife of overdrawing their account and causing the issue. I would have thought him something less of a crud if he had at least manned-up an took some responsibility for himself.

Side note – I wonder if our civil rights leaders should have spent a little more time at home making sure their kids didn’t turn out to be out of control public nuisances.

The Holidays

Time to reflect and focus on the things that are important.

The greatest pre-post-election article

is here. I sincerely wish I had written it, but I didn't so I'm humbly linking instead.

Side note - although I fully support him, I will now never look at Obama without imagining him charging on a camel, wearing a turban, and swinging a sword in the air while shouting "Death to Israel!"

Breaking News

Overheard from my cubicle:

"The gasoline shortage was a hoax. I mean, that don't make no sense. We didn't have gas, now all of a sudden we do have gas? That was just a scam run by President Bush to make more money."

That's right - the gasoline shortage in the Southeast attributed to low refinery production because of damage caused by the hurricaines was actually a money-making scam perpetrated by the president to personally enrich himself. Remember that you heard it here first. My unknown cube-mate later added:

"I'm voting for Obama because I can't understand nothing McCain says."

- a public service announcement to remind the democrats that you too are in the company of morons. I didn't pick on the republicans because they already have President Bush.

*EDIT*

Bunny!

Why where I live is way cooler than where you live

Local county commissioner hires a Voodou priestess to get even with a political rival.

Although, if you believe in Voodou, it's probably best to not bounce checks written to a priestess of vengeance. It's kind of like not paying a contract killer. "Oh, yeah? What'cha gonna do, huh? You gonna call the police? Garnish my wages? Report me to the BBB? Hey, what's with the chainsaw?"

水曜日

While grabbing a Mountain Dew from the caf, I noticed the headlines on one paper read "Super Suspenseful", I'm guessing their description of Super Tuesday. I likened it to the Superbowl - I didn't pay any attention to that spectacle either.

In other useful news, if you take the lyrics from Beck's song Loser, run them through this translater first into Japanese and then back into English*, the part that goes "why don't you kill me" becomes "why amn't soybean United Nations I who am killed?" Japanese can be tricky, (//begin sarcasm) unlike English which always conforms to its own rules and has no exceptions whatsoever (//end sarcasm).

* Note - I'm not crediting anyone with this idea since I've seen many people do it before, starting with Dave Barry in about 2005.