Friday, November 20, 2009

What I’ve Learned, part 3

1) Do not use credit cards to pay for medical procedures unless you are absolutely certain that you know the full and final amount of the bill(s).

2) You will never know the full and final amount of the bill(s). In my case, I received initial bills up to sixteen months after treatment.

3) On second thought, although credit companies have an arsenal of ways of screwing you once you need them, the healthcare community now has more. If your bills are more than you can pay completely after three months (especially if the remaining amount is under $1,000) (assuming you know the full and final amount of the bill(s)) (which you don’t), go ahead and put them on a credit card since the credit industry has to provide you with prior warning before reaming you with a flaming spiked dildo.

4) Of course, since you will never know if they are through billing the shit out of you, paying the bills with credit would be like walking off the roof and hoping the building is only one story tall.

5) Just accept the fact that, if you need medical attention and they charge you more than you can afford to pay completely within three months, you and your credit are already screwed.

6) On third thought – don’t get sick in this country. That’s what I’ve truly learned. If you get ill, hop on a plane to France and don’t return until you’re well.

Seriously, I think the best thing you can do is to argue them down to the lowest monthly payment possible (if you don’t come to an agreement, they’ll turn it over to a collection agency anyway), get the agreement in writing, make your monthly payments while trying to save as much as possible, then pay the remaining bill(s) when the remaining amount is in danger of dropping below a thousand dollars. There’s no guarantee, but that’s probably your best bet if you’re trying to pay your bills and protect your credit rating.

Good news – I’m now through with sharing semi-useful information and can return to posting pictures of hot Asian women.


Jay said...

And the bonus is that when the credit card company sees that you're paying medical bills with your cards, they'll jack your interest rate up to 29.9% and change the minimum payment formula to make sure that they get to screw you too. ;-)

Kerry said...

I am so sorry that I laugh while reading all this that you've learned. I don't laugh at you... I laugh because its true and you write it so funny!!!

It makes NO f'ing sense to crank up the interest rate on someone who obviously is struggling to make payments. HELL-f'ing-o!!! You're guaranteed not to get more money now.

SJ said...
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SJ said...

Thanks for the reassuring last line... i was getting worried.

Avitable said...

Can I go to Canada instead of France?

Grant said...

Jay - been there, paid that.

Kerry - when they sense people are close to their limits, they like to give a shove. Their studies show they make most of their money off people who have filed. That won't work with me, though, because I live on a budget and don't have bad spending habits.

SJ - don't worry, the bunny will never stop around here.

Avitable - I mentioned France because, from what I've read, they seem to have the best system, but if you go to West Canada the chances of getting a hot Asian nurse will increase, so I approve.

Robin said...

I'm all for moving to either Europe or Canada. Whichever is warmer.

Grant said...

Robin - Japan is warmer. The Osaka region is like Florida.