Friday, October 16, 2009

It's Friday, here's part of a meme

Stolen from the Monogram Queen. I hate long memes and some of the questions were stupid, so I'm just doing select ones. BTW, it's her birthday today, so feel free to send any gift money to me via the donate button and I promise I'll think about passing it along.

1. Please share one middle school memory. It can be good, bad, ugly, funny. Pictures or words, I don’t care, just share.

In the 4th grade, we moved from Kentucky to Tennessee. KY and TN have a "friendly" college basketball rivalry that is twisted into a complete fucknuts fundamentalist-style form of hatred by younger kids who live in isolated rural communities like where we lived. I knew of the rivalry between adults but didn't know telling my fellow students that I was from Kentucky would ensure that I got into a fight every day during recess while the teachers hid in their break room. I never won any because none of my classmates had been taught anything as silly as "don't attack a guy with a group of 13 people just because he was born across the state line".

My most memorable fight came on a day I wore my favorite shirt, a denim Western-style shirt with fake pearl buttons. That day I fought a 5th grader and his flunkies. Like Ron White says, I don't know how many it would have taken to kick my ass, but I know how many they used (4). Also, the 5th grader had failed every other grade and had only been passed along to get rid of him, so he was 16 at the time. Yes - he had to shave and would have driven to middle school, but his family was as poor as everyone else and couldn't afford a second vehicle. I remember this one most of all because a) while on my back being pounded, I aimed a kick at the alpha male's face that missed by about a millimeter (damn - so close), and b) because I had to go through the rest of my classes with blood and grass stains on my now ruined shirt (one sleeve had been completely ripped away, although I was still wearing it, and most of the buttons were now missing) sitting in class while the teachers pretended not to notice that I was bleeding. At least when I returned to class in a seriously damaged condition, they were polite enough not to call on me.

Public education's official motto should be "Filled with suck."

2) You're favorite Beatles Song: Helter Skelter.

4. Would you rather host a party or be a guest? No.

7. If you are (or when you were) single, what is the kiss of death for you concerning the opposite sex? (That is, what is one trait or behavior or habit or anything at all that immediately turns you off from considering that person a potential match for you?)

Insincerity. The kind of corporate mentality wherein they pretend to like you as long as you pay for things, but abruptly drop you when you have nothing tangible to offer in return. I've often thought I wouldn't mind having one of those prostitute girlfriends (the kind that exchange sex for gifts and money), but then I realized that would mean she would have abruptly dropped me when the hospitals began billing the shit out of me. Being sick and broke is not when I would like to be dumped.

10. What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie? Tropic Thunder.


Marsha said...

I love your answer to #4, it reflects my sentiments as well.

Hit 40 said...

Great choice for your favorite Tom Cruise movie because the dip had such a small part in it!!! I lost total interest in him when he felt he could tell Brooke that depression would just go away if she wanted it to.... jackass!!

WTF kinda white trash lord of the flies school did you go to??? I would totally have jumped into the middle of the fight for you to pull the kids off. And...

we would have kicked their sorry bully asses outta school.

I also went to middle school with a boy who could drive!! At the time, we all thought it was cool.

dr.alistair said...

great answers. number 4 sums it up for me also.

favorite beatles song? i want you.

the trait in a woman that ends it? acting like a guy. being a prostitute. being insecure and pretending to be stupid/cute.

tom cruise movie? terminator II, `cause he wasn`t in it.

my favorite middle school memory was kicking the shit out of the bully that banged my head off a wall the year before. i wonder how he turned out....

dr.alistair said...

oh, and depression will go away the moment you stop getting rewarded for it....

Robin said...

I like your answer to #4, that would be my answer too. Oh and I wouldn't go back to middle school for any amount of money, I'd rather go to prison than back to middle school.

Jay said...

When I was in 7th grade this really big, stupid 9th grader who was probably 22 years old told me that he was going to kick my ass during lunch. Why? Just to entertain himself, I guess.

Anyway, I sat through study hall right before lunch trying to convince myself that all I needed was to get in one good shot. I walked out of class and he nailed me right in the ribs and down I went.

Then he got kicked out of school because the moron did it right in front of 6 teachers.

I think I could have guessed that Helter Skelter would be your favorite Beatles song.

Grant said...

Marsha - parties are too much effort. I prefer smaller gatherings with friends.

Hit 40 - that was in Troy, Tennessee. But when I was there it wasn't quite the metropolis is has become now.

dr.alistair - I don't mind prostitutes as long as they're honest about it up front. I dislike it when they're there for the money and gifts but want you to pretend it's a valid relationship.

Robin - prison and middle school are pretty much the same. You're being warehoused, you have a bunch of rules to follow, the food sucks, and the best move you can make is to kill somebody or become somebody's bitch on the first day.

Jay - even though we moved a lot and I was passed between parents, I never attended a school where they actually interfered with a fight. I guess large groups of students chanting taunts didn't draw the teachers' attention.

Hit 40 said...

I love your comment to Robin. LOL. In prison, you do not need a hall pass to pee. Think about it!!

...kinda odd that I teach. I should make a boring post outta it.

I think this is why the students love me. We all feel in it together.

Grant said...

Hit 40 - on the downside, studies have shown you are 0.0037% more likely to be anally raped in prison than middle school.

Monogram Queen said...

Hey i'm flattered! You stole this from me! It was a birthday present wasn't it? You can admit it!

**I did mention to you that you are blocked at work so yours is the only blog I have to access from home but don't worry if I fall behind I will catch up!

Grant said...

Monogram Queen - if I'm blocked at work, you need a new job.

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