Forty-four in a row, bitches!

The elections are over, thank the zombie jebus. People are saying it was a historic election, but to me it’s just more of the same because for the 44th time in a row, an American took the top prize. In your face, rest of the world! In fact, I don’t even think I’ve seen a foreigner make it to the semi-final rounds, unless you count Dennis Kucinich who clearly is from Uranus.

It’s kind of like how we Americans always win the baseball World Series. Even though it is a World Series, the Japanese have yet to take the title. We rule again!

Also, as a corollary to the fact that our next president will be black, all of you liberal wussbags crying about how this country will never ever ever elect a president who isn’t white are now kindly invited to STFU!

But next time I’m going to let race and my sympathy for the underdog factor in and I’m voting for a pair of Asian lesbian schoolgirls, regardless of party they represent and whether or not their platform includes mandatory root canals and exploratory anal surgery for all, plus death to every lifeform in the known universe.