Thursday, May 05, 2011

Too long for Formspring

On Sunday at church I kept shouting "Do the jalapeno!" but the preacher just gave me funny looks and other people kept shushing me. What kind of preacher doesn't take requests for dance moves? Anyway, I left early and chained the doors and set fire to the building. Fortunately nobody escaped alive and so I don't have to receive any come-uppance for the fact that the jalapeno isn't, in fact, a dance move. Now I won't be embarrassed by that awful incident and can move on with my life without even mentioning it. So I wanted to celebrate with steak or maybe ice cream, then I thought - Steakscream (patent pending). ZOMFG what could be better - the best of both worlds. You could have a hot, steaming frozen treat that is made out of meat cream and is dispensed in the shape of a star onto a waffle cone. And you could top it with things like onion and pepper sprinkles! Awesome! But then I called the patent office and they won't let my official patent number be "Mr. Fricklepants", the poop-heads. So I guess a patent isn't pending after all. So, what should I have for dinner? 'Cause Steakscream apparently isn't happening.

In other news, today is important because it marks Mexico's attempt to steal my thunder by having a holiday just ten days before my birthday. This year, since the economy is too bad for you to buy me a bunny, go to Formspring and ask me questions and try to come up with something more original than asking about Asian women and sharting. Because Formspring will become the most valid social networking site ever and can only ruined by your personal lameness. You claim to be intelligent and creative? (I've read your blog - you do) The it's time to put up or shut up. Or maybe that's put out or shout out. I can never remember. Put in or be a dust bin?

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