Monday, November 22, 2010

Soldier Pic #1

By nearly nonexistent popular demand, here is one of my manly soldierly pictures. I don't have many combat pics because some were confiscated from my mail and others were lost when my camera was stolen. This one was taken in Germany in the late 80's at the beginning of a volksmarch (sp?), which is German for "walk off a lot of k's while drinking booze". I participated in these while wearing a backpack lined with a waterproof bag filled with ice and a 30 pack of Strohs. If infantrymen are good at anything, it's walking long distances while carrying a metric buttload of equipment and getting drunk. I'm also good at crimes against humanity, but the festivity-meisters frown on that. Fortunately they're cool about frequently urinating on the side of the road and bazooka-barfing.

If you can guess which one is me before Monday, you'll win a prize. If I only have your e-mail address, you'll win an e-prize. If I don't have any contact info on you, I keep your prize.

11 comments:

Maundering mutterer said...

None of them is you! I've seen your self-portrait, and none of these looks like that, not even one itty bitty bit.

Tracy Lynn said...

I'm going with the guy in the purple shirt and the hat. Just because I can.

tiff said...

the guy with the big-ass camera.

Lady Tragic said...

If you're not the dude with the camera then I vote for the guy with the stick, it just seems like you'd walk around toting a big-ass stick.

Captain Dumbass said...

I was going to go with the camera guy but figured that was just something to through us off. Instead I'm going with the brother in the yellow shirt.

Unknown said...

The guy crouching in the front, in the white t-shirt, and checking out some random Asian chicks.

metalmom said...

The one in the tan shorts with the big bunny boner.

Avitable said...

I've seen a combat shot of you (http://www.flickr.com/photos/avitable/4047672440/sizes/o/in/set-72157622544239301/) and I think that it's either the guy in purple or the one in the green shirt and jacket. I think the one in the jacket is the one that most closely resembles you. Either that or the black guy with the red hat.

Shaedynlee said...

OK. I'm going to only say this once--if Avitable is right and the pic he posted IS you, dude: You are totally beautiful! Like, not in a gross way ya know, just.. aww damn, that's just a fine looking man, that's all..

Kira said...

Alex votes for the green shirt and jacket with sunglasses guy.

Grant said...

Maundering mutterer - I've gotten older since that picture was taken, which is why I now look like a KFC with a chicken statue out front.

Tracy Lynn - no, that was a drunk Florida redneck sergeant who was several years older than me. That pic was taken when I was about a year out of high school.

tiff - see Tracy above.

Lady Tragic - that was my roommate, the guy who owned the Pepsi and Budweiser in the other picture (the Stroh's and orange vodka was mine).

Captain Dumbass - he's Puerto Rican and a coke dealer who sold out a couple of my friends to stay out of trouble. That picture is just dripping with nostalgia.

SJ - that's the only guy in the pic I don't remember well. I think he rotated back to the states soon after I arrived.

metalmom - that was the hot chick's boyfriend. I would totally do her. She was quite bunny-like despite being German.

Avitable - yes, in my spare time I am a black man.

Shaedynlee - Avitable and I have a lot of sex, so of course he knows what I look like. And that was over half a life and several hospitalizations ago, so I don't look anything like that anymore.

Kira - that was a friend who was secretly informing on everyone to the captain, but I wasn't doing anything illegal as far as he knew so it didn't affect me.