Friday, September 18, 2009

Don't Worry, He'll See The Bats Soon Enough

Hi, I am Tracy Lynn Kaply, and I am Grant's attorney, if by attorney you mean someone with no legal standing that tells Grant to do stuff. And since Grant is currently suffering from writer's drought, I have an attorney client obligation to step in and write absolute drivel for him to post.

Not a bunny

Despite my near constant advice to move here to the Pacific Northwest, a civilized part of the country that is practically overrun with bunnies of all types and descriptions, he continues to live in a part of the country almost empty of bunny, and to demand that I kidnap one and mail her to him. I think this is just laziness on his part, and refuse because even though they are small, they are still bulky from a packing perspective and I think we all know what that means. HIGHER POSTAGE.

And since I am cheap, I think we all know that the mailing of bunnies will not happen. Serves him right, I mean, really, what the hell kind of pervert tries to subcontract out his stalking and kidnapping? A LAZY ASS BASTARD, THAT'S WHO.

Well, I'm not gonna do it. I have important lawyer business to attend to and kidnapping is not part of it. The contract specifically says NO KIDNAPPING.


And now we will return you to the usual bunny filled tripe.


Anonymous said...

You know, Kaply, I signed on to follow Grant because of his awesome ability to search out and post pics of bunnies.

That fox just doesn't cut it, even with his bedroom eyes.

And how come you never post on MY blog? Is it because I have never actually asked? Cause if that's the reason I'm disappointed in you.

GreenJello said...

You have a point-- Grant does need to relocate to the Land Of Bunny (well, at least the stateside version). More daily eye candy.

But then again, getting you to do his dirty work shows he knows how to delegate.

Monogram Queen said...

Ha Ha I love this! Calling Grant out and a lazy b@stard to boot! Will you marry me?

SJ said...

Heh heh this is how all guest posts should be written. Bravo!

Real Live Lesbian said...

I came here for a bunny and I got a fox! ;)

Jay said...

Not only would the postage be too high, but chances are the Bunny wouldn't willingly allow you to stuff her into a box. Even one with holes in it. And she might know some form of martial arts. probably too risky.

And I think Grant and I both need to relocate to the land of Bunny.

Captain Dumbass said...

Hell, two hours up the I-5 and he could be here in Bunnyvillia. Wait. No. I don't think Grant could handle it here. It would be like shaking hands with your anti-self.

Tracy Lynn said...

Thank you, everyone. I live to serve.

Grant said...

Imnotbenny - see if you can get Tracy to guest post pictures of the bodacious rack she's always telling us about.

GreenJello - I actually would love to live in Seattle (for reasons beyond bunny), but my job pays me to be in Atlanta.

Monogram Queen - you want to marry Tracy? Lesbian sex here on my blog! Score!

SJ - I agree.

Real Live Lesbian - oh, sure, come by and visit when it's someone else writing on my blog.

Jay - she could always put out a plate of sushi with a box propped up by a stick over it, which would eliminate the need to force her into the package.

Captain Dumbass - if I move to Seattle, I will give you plenty of warning so you can relocate to Nepal.

Tracy Lynn - only you would generally ignore me and then comment on your own blog post.

Hit 40 said...

Does Grant know his way to the land of bunny? If you have a secret bunny map, you should cough it up!!

Grant said...

Hit 40 - I've been to Bunnyland, USA, but my employer pays me to stay in the land with little bunny.