Sunday, July 19, 2009

Promised Health Update & Bunny

Last week I went for my weekly wound flaying at the local Mega Hospital / Deathstar Wound Care Center. For once, I got a repeat nurse. It was the same nurse I had the first time who I suspect may be some kind of super nurse - she can think and make decisions all on her own. After being told the previous week that I needed to be off my feet at all times and to have my foot elevated (basically, my instructions change every week - stay off your feet, get more exercise, etc.), she told me I am now well enough to resume walking on my treadmill and wearing normal shoes. Of course, she wants me to go buy special diabetic shoes, but I think I'll pass. My left foot is perfectly well now and didn't require any special attention.

As a test control measure, my left foot was just as badly injured but escaped the doctor's attention since the infection crept in through my right foot. Therefore, my left foot received minimal care in the hospital and was left to my discretion after discharge. I bandaged it when it bled, put lotion on the dry skin when I thought of it, and otherwise just tried to get as much exercise as possible. It's completely healed now, and has been for weeks. The right foot has undergone at least weekly treatments by various doctors and nurses. It still bleeds a little, but has made the most progress over the last week since ultra nurse decided not to scrape it back open. Two weeks ago after I left the doctor's office I stayed off my foot for the rest of the night and it bled through several layers of gauze. Yesterday I walked on the treadmill, went shopping, and did housework and it left a single drop of blood in the middle of the oversized band-aid I applied. As I originally thought - doctors have their uses but will often prolong an illness, whether due to greed or stupidity I will let you decide.

The Endocrinologist at St. Avarice, the local Catholic mega hospital / shopping mall, told me to visit the Nephrologist next door to him. I called for an appointment, told them the E doctor said to see the N doctor, and was asked if I had a reference. I'm still not fluent in medical-eeze, but was that not a reference? We decided my insurance didn't require one, and they said they needed my paperwork from E first. I told N that E had told me they already faxed it, but N said they didn't have it and would call them and ask for another copy, then call me back when they did. Did I mention they are next door to each other? Anyway, no word back from N, but I think I'm going to try my way for a little while - eat what I want (which means mostly rice and veggies, not meat and dairy like they recommended), exercise on my treadmill and in the gym, and see how it goes.

With the money I'm saving on future doctor visits / medical equipment, I was able to buy this TV. It arrives tomorrow. Questions / comments:
Women - does this properly fill you with desire to have sex with me? Pretend you are a J-bunny (see below). Now are you lusting after my body? Is this normal lust, or anal sex lust?
Guys with bigger TVs - you clearly have the wrong priorities. Life is about joy and bunny sex, not rampant consumerism, and you know that giant TV is just over-compensation for other *ahem* shortcomings.
Guys with smaller TVs - neener neener neener losers compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.

And, as promised:




Martini said...

Nice purchase. Now you can do what some of the doctors suggested - and put your feet up while watching 46 inches of awesomeness. I feel inferior with my 30" widescreen Panasonic. Not because it's only 30" though... because it's Panasonic. :)

Avitable said...

Nice TV. I need one of those in the bedroom to complement my 55" TV in the living room.

Captain Dumbass said...

You suck.

Whitemist said...

Nice screen, but I do not watch much TV so my little portable B & W does just fine! Listen to supper Nurse, she may be the best of the lot.
I hate it when common sense fails to materialize (IE. they are next to each other and must fax or E mail to get things done. What happened to seeing a person directly and handing them a piece of paper, less energy, more exercise, etc, etc.

Jay said...

Glad that you are healing and starting to get better. Also, I agree that at some point you have to get away from the doctors so that you really can get better. Doctors will make you sick if you let them.

Nice TV. I bet Japanese game shows would look awesome on that thing!

Also ... we're all coming over for the Super Bowl next year.

JennyMac said...

Big tv = paradise. Hope you are 100% soon.

Kathy B! said...

The tv is nice, but I'm bangin' on the door of 40. I don't think I have sex anymore. And have you been to my blog lately?! I know you have... there is a reason not to have too much sex. I've got four. onsider yourself warned, and be careful with that tv!

I'm glad you're on the mend!

Gib said...

It's not the size of your TV, it's how you wield the remote.

Grant said...

Martini - my latest nurse cleared me to get back on the treadmill, so now I'll be able to walk and read subtitles at the same time for once.

Avitable - I'm painfully aware that my shiniest trinket pales next to your second-hand clutter, you temporarily fat bastard.

CDA - is it because of my TV or because I'm not going to drop dead anytime soon (I hope)?

Whitemist - is B&W still legal?

Jay - I'm sure the doctors are not ignorant to the fact that healthy people give them little business.

JennyMac - I prefer to think of it as Nerdvana.

Kathy B - I still don't have one, so I'm not through with my penis yet.

Gib - guys who say that invariably have tiny remotes.

dr.alistair said...

i don`t have a tv.

my girlfriend is much more entertaining.

tiff said...

40 inches all for one person - how will you ever find the will to leave your house?

metalmom said...

You sir have excellent taste. I too own that tv. You are now on your way to "Metalmom Zen"

Grant said...

Dr. Alistair - does she perform TV shows on demand for you?

Tiff - it's 46 inches, and I have to leave to go to work so I can make payments and not have it repossessed.

MetalMom - you have a 46" TV? Crap - now I have to get a bigger one. It's bad enough that Avitable outdid me, but I can't allow a pitiful Earth female to match my screen size. :p

Kerry said...

I think alot of times, we know better than the doctor. I sometimes take what they say with a grain of salt. I do part of their recommended treatment plan, alter it accordingly, fill what prescriptions I deem necessary and do whats comfortable. It works better. If that doesn't work, see a different doctor and get more drugs, combine the two plans and see what you come up with. You see, i'm a pain in the arse patient. hahaha

Love the TV.

Ricardo said...

Glad the rough stuff with the foot is coming to a close. That is a SWEET TV. I love it.