Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I'm not a consumer

If I should suddenly drop dead, it's probably because of the antibacterial ointment I've been using. I just saw the expiration date, and it expired in April of 1996. The hydrogen peroxide I was using to clean the wound is even older. I can't find an expiration date, but the store I bought it from (actually the one my mother bought it from) only existed in the region in which I lived during my teen years, so it's at least 22 years old.

My icemaker was overflowing, so I shut it off - in April. I still have ice.

I haven't been able to get through an entire six-pack of diet soda this year without some of it going bad and having to be tossed.

I've actually had soy- and miso-based foods go bad on me, which is like saying your can of preservatives (not preserves) got so old that it began to molder.

You may now continue with your day.

14 comments:

Jay said...

But any Twinkies you may have bought in the last 25 years are still good. Even if they aren't in the package anymore.

tiff said...

I'd recommend getting a new bottle of the ol' H2O2. Less than a buck for a hefty new bang of antibacterial goodness!

...love Maegan said...

your comment on "sane without drugs" re: legalizing weed ...brilliant ;)

Whitemist said...

Aw don't worry, you are older than all of that stuff and you still aren't toxic! The Twinkies ideas is a god on, there is a best use date on the package. but they still haven't been able to measure the actual half life of Twinkies, it is much too long.

Hit 40 said...

My boys are starting to eat. I don't think I'll be tossing old bread anymore. They are going through 4 loafs a week!!

Glad to read on your other post that you seem to be feeling better!! I might just not go back again at all. Very tempting to just let it heal without their help or lack of help.

Captain Dumbass said...

Are you a zombie?

GreenJello said...

Isn't penicillin made by aging it?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

You are a brave, brave man. :)

Hit 40 said...

I don't keep track of comment of the day..

but yours definitely got it today. LMAO!!!

Hit 40 said...

I meant. I don't know if you ever had one yet or not.

Hit 40 said...

Now I feel like a pest...

but that Maegan chick spammed us all with comments yesterday. Too funny.

Grant said...

Jay - I think I'll line my house with Twinkies as protection against nuclear attack.

Tiff - I'm off the H2O2, but I did splurge on a new tube of antibiotic ointment.

Maegan - thank you.

Whitemist - some days I feel toxic.

Hit 40 - I'm almost through with them. I got rid of the endocrinologist and nephrologist and my next visit to wound care should be my last.

Captain - I think half-dead describes me better than undead.

GreenJello - I think mine was so old it probably turned into vinegar paste.

Stacy - I don't know about that. Fried chicken and potatoes frighten me these days.

Tracy Lynn said...

That is seriously fucked up, dude.

Kathy B! said...

Jeez! How can your diet soda go bad. That is seriously bad!! Go through ALL of your cabinets ASAP and pitch all expired products. Make a list of what you tossed and re-purchase.

Get with it. I command you. I'm a mom and people are supposed to listen to me so don't make me look bad here.