Telekinesis (moving things with your mind) or Telepathy (reading minds)?
Thanks to the Internet and the bloggysphere, I already know what random strangers think of me. That’s why I ditched all of the big brother tools, like things that allow you track who is reading and linking to your site. I got tired of thinking “hey, a new blogpal” only to discover people were secretly posting what they thought of me based on my blog (apparently I’m retarded and stalking various people by leaving an occasional blog comment). I have no further desire to learn what anyone around me really thinks. On the other hand, being able to sit in my cubicle and appear to work while I drop things on my coworkers’ heads would be a real morale booster for me. Plus, I would practice unhooking bras with my mind.
X-ray Vision or Super Hearing?
Although I love the sounds boobs make, I think I would prefer to see them.
Ability to Burn Things or Ability to Freeze Things?
Pyrokinesis (the ability to light and control fires with the mind) would definitely be at the top of any list I made wishing for super powers. Freezing stuff would come in handy if my beer got warm, but it’s no substitute for being able to set people ablaze. “You want to talk to me about Scientology? I SET YOU ON FIRE!” Unfortunately, I would be easy to trace. Just follow the charred corpses of slow commuters from my doorstep to my cubicle.
Magic or Psychic?
I'm assuming psychic in this case means predicting the future. Other than manning a booth at a carnival, it seems pretty useless. Have you ever imagined how difficult it would be to convince someone to change their course of action because you claimed to have had a psychic vision? Magic, on the other hand, could actually make things happen, like pulling this C-bunny from a hat.
Ability to See into the Past or Ability to See into the Future?
I have the ability to see into the past. It’s called “memory”. But if I could see into the future I could do amazing things, like see whether or not I liked a movie so I’ll know if I should save the cost of the ticket. Also, I could rack up on gambling. And I could look at women and see if I would go to jail for raping them, or beat the rap. And I would see if drugs would land me in rehab, or if I’d get away with indulging. “Look – it’s Gambling Crack-Whore Didn’t See Speed Racer Man!”
Shapechanging or Phasing (the ability to move through solid objects)?
Shapechanging, so I could take on the form of a guy half my age with twice the penis. Or I could just assume the shape of a Japanese schoolgirl and stay home molesting myself.
Phasing or Invisibility?
Phasing, so that I can more easily make it to the toilet when it’s an emergency. Also, that would be a cool way to undress. “You’re in the mood, J-baby? I’M NAKED!”
Phasing or Invulnerability?
Phasing is a kind of invulnerability since you can’t be hit while phased, but since it’s not always on I would still be susceptible to disease. Any defense against sharting wins automatically, so invulnerability it is.
Create Illusions or Shapechanging?
Illusions are fun, but not real. If you try to attack me by creating the illusion of an assault vampire chocolate pie, I’ll turn into a real rhino and ram the hell out of you.