Appy-polly-logies

If I'm not around on the net much in the near future, it's because I have the interminable head* cold of doom ('09 tour) which, coupled with my other infirmities, is leaving me with just enough energy to drag myself to and from work each day. Since my brain shutdown also includes my imagination, I've had no recent desire to write fiction. Insted I have decided to write the definitive non-fiction work (read: pamphlet) on all I know about women. I'm calling it "All I Know about Women I Learned from Watching Anime and Playing Japanese Video Games". For instance:

1. Although they may act like they don't like it, women secretly enjoy being groped in a public place.
2. Proper military attire for female soldiers should make the average stripper blush (because at any time, a soldier can be called upon to do her patriotic duty, by which I mean a lap dance).
   

   

3. A woman's true age of sexual maturity / consent is apparently around ten.
4. The most appropriate punishment for any offense is to make the woman publicly undress.
5. A normally developed twelve year-old should weigh about 85 pounds and sport a 38DDD bust. Apparently our country (USA) is full of genetic freaks.
6. And, of course, the first rule of J-porn (which also applies to real life):
   

   

I'm still composing the list so I can hopefully fill out both sides of the pamphlet. Feel free to make suggestions in the comments section.

* I've subsequently renamed my head The Mucus Factory. Production is at an all time high.