Metalmom Interview

Now being interviewed by Metalmom. The meme rules:

“The only rules are that you have to link back to the original post and you have to put these rules in your post:

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.”

Now onto the questions:

1. What is it about your beloved 'bunnies' that makes them superior to all other women?
Asian schoolgirls are cute and sexy. When they’re really young they take to the leash well so you can walk them around your neighborhood. When they reach the age of sexual maturity (about twelve), you can sex them up and not worry about lasting emotional anguish if you turn them into gyoza or nikujaga. They’re a source of lean protein and go good with soy sauce. They are especially awesome with Darth Vader.

Okay, seriously I don’t obsess over Asians as much as I appear to in my blog. It’s just that 1) if I was designing my perfect mate she would be Japanese because 1.1) I’m studying the language and could use a study partner, and 1.2) the combination of tiny and cute with long black hair and almond-shaped eyes appeals to me more than big-tittied blondes. 2) Since I prefer Asian foods (and service) and because I don’t go to church (surprise) or belong to any other groups and nobody socializes where I work, I tend to meet more Asian women. On the downside, the Asians I have met tend to be, on the whole, the most racist people I’ve ever dealt with. They’re not immigrants – they’re colonists.

But who doesn’t find Asian schoolgirls cute?

Here’s the exception that proves my rule.

2. If there were suddenly no more bunnies in the world, would you rather do an old woman or go gay?
I would like to go gay now since guys tend to have less drama and I could expand my wardrobe by dating someone my size. Unfortunately, guys are totally gross. And I don’t find elderly women unattractive. Especially the Asian ones who tend to look half the age of we Westerners.

3. You like Spiderman. Is it a man-crush? How do you think you'd look in the tights?
If I put on the tights, I’d look like a total dork who is trying to dress as Spider-man. That’s why I have a rule to never dress as anyone I like. I’d rather dress as a villain or hero I dislike just to make them look bad. I’d prefer to dress like that weenie Luke instead of Darth Vader.

4. You were born in the Year of the Rooster. Can you tell us about your cock?
It’s uncircumcised and at least average length by Japanese standards. It likes Asian schoolgirls but has to settle for self-abuse.

5. What is your favorite Japanese meal? (Non-human) Wanna go to Japan with me? Can you guarantee that you wouldn't ditch me to run off with another woman?
I think vegetable tempura, especially kabocha (Japanese pumpkin), is my overall favorite. I’ve tried, but I just can’t enjoy raw fish. Nikujaga (beef stew) is also good on a cold day, not that it ever really gets cold here. Yes. And no.

BTW, asking several questions per question is cheating, but I forgive you.