Sunday, July 20, 2008

Southern Style Cookin’

Note – you know this is authentic Southern fare since I omitted the “g” in the title. I stoled (Southern English) it from “Uncle Bubba’s Savannah Seafood” written by Paula Deen’s younger brother Earl “Bubba” Hiers. I bought it because it put my order over $25 and the free shipping more than made up for the cost of this bargain bin book, plus I wanted to gross out all of my Japanese friends with our version of cooking. Whereas the Japanese appreciate raw and subtle flavors, we like to batter and fry the fuck out of everything. As soon as we find a way to serve fried lard with salted sugar we will have achieved the ultimate in Southern cuisine, by which I mean food that can produce instant diabetic coronaries at a hundred paces.

The book doesn’t disappoint with nauseating tidbits like (I swear) Pickled Shrimp, Crab Martinis, Fried Dill Pickles, and Beer Rolls, but it also offers a few things you may want to try other than to slowly commit suicide. Following is one – his Baked Macaroni ampersand Cheese recipe.

1 pound elbow macaroni, cooked and drained
4 cups (1 pound) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
3 eggs, beaten
3 cups milk
1 tablespoon dry mustard
Salt and pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13 x 9 inch baking pan.
2. Place half the macaroni into the pan. Cover with 1 ½ cups of cheese. Top with the remaining macaroni then cover with the rest of the cheese.
3. Whisk together the eggs, milk, mustard, and salt and pepper to taste and pour evenly over the contents of the pan.
4. Bake for one hour or until the cheese is melted and lightly browned.

I tried it and it came out well despite my lack of decent cookware or culinary talent. As an alternative, I suggest mixing the ingredients in a bowl, transferring them to the prepared pan, and then topping the whole thing with a light layer of cheese to insure the ingredients are evenly mixed. Also, no need to heavily grease the pan – I used a glass pan with a light layer of cooking spray with no troubles. Also, Tabasco sauce is a nice topping and Asian women are totally hot.


Monogram Queen said...

I love me some mac n' cheese. I want to try a version with Brie or Lobster in it.

A crab martini... ugh!

Joe said...

Clearly this illness has taken it's toll on you. It's made you lose your focus on your all-Japanese diet.

Then again, maybe that was just referring to your dating habits.

Joe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

mmmm I don't think you can eat this. This is something I wouldn't even give my dog!

NYD said...

Sounds delicious- the Japanese girls, I mean.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Ooooh, Southern cooking! Does it say y'all and talk all funny like you do down South--we in the North don't have accents.

tiff said...

Pickled shrimp are the BOMB. I kid you not.

Here from Tracy Lynn's, BTW.

Melinda said...

So sorry you have been so ill, Grant.
It certainly sounded like you went for treatment in the nick of time.
I am glad to see you are turning food blogger, as I will have something to share with you! I don't have much interest in Japanese girls!
Here's sending you some virtual chicken soup and I hope you are well on the mend now...Poor baby!

~Deb said...

Wow a change in Grant's taste in food? This sounded really good! You're going to have to come here and cook for us sometime!

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

If you eat this way you will get a bypass before you know it. You need to eat healthy.

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

I am retarded but this is nothing that you didn't already know. I thought you were talking about fried lard and salt.

What a moron. The Mac N Cheese looks good.

So sorry about that, please be kind with me!!!!!

The Miner said...

It's sounds delicious as like as Ghorme-sabzee!!!

Grant said...

mq - try the brie version and let me know how it goes.

joe - I'll bet mac & cheese is tasty with soy sauce.

comment deleted - pussy!

ssc - well, we can't all eat birthday cake and two sodas. Some of us have unhealthy foods.

nyd - Japanese girls are great dipped in soy and wasabi.

enemy - that's Southern cookin'. And yes, the book is definitely written with a Southern accent.

tiff - they look pretty but sound kinda horrifying, unlike such delectable tidbits as pickled pig's feet.

melinda - the food is just a lure for tiny Japanese women.

~deb - one cannot live on sushi alone. Especially not in my case. I like the mac & cheese as a meat substitute.

ssc - don't worry, I'll flush the impurities out with beer.

ssc - we save the good stuff (funnel cakes) for special times, like days that end with a "y".

miner - although not as easy to spell.

Crys said...

mac n cheese is a favorite. love love love it but it has to be PERFECT. i think i tried paula deen's recipe once but i have since continued to search. i shall note this one for the record.

i've seen crab martinis before. they're weird.