Post #994 - Meme Time

Stolen from the Monogram Queen.

My roommate and I once: lived under the same roof.

Never in my life have I: squirted sulfuric acid into my eyes while dancing an Irish jig and screaming "Funky poodles rule the afterbirth". Check back next week to see if this is still true.

High school was: a time I regret not attempting a mass murder/suicide with my friend's uncle's WWII mortar shells. Actually that was junior high.

When I am nervous I: appear the same as when I am not nervous, which is the same as when I am deliriously happy or planning to kill everyone in the building.

My hair is: on top of my head (and under my arm pits, in my crotch, etc.).

When I was 5: I plotted to kill both of my parents, but chickened out because the trigger pull on the .357 magnum was too much for me to squeeze off two rounds in rapid succession.

By this time next year: I hope to have a Japanese woman trapped in my closet. It's a large walk-in, about the size of the typical Tokyo hotel room, so she won't suffer as long as she avoids the spikes on the walls.

I have a hard time understanding: why Japanese women find me so resistable.

You know I like you if: I tell you or give you stuff.

My ideal breakfast is: sleep. If I have to be awake, miso soup and green tea.

If you visit my hometown: I will take you out for sushi and ask your help in kidnapping one of the waitresses.

If you spend the night at my house: Japanese horror films and anal sex galore!

My favorite blonde is: ewww…blondes aren’t Asian.

My favorite brunette is: ewww…brunettes aren’t Asian.

The animal I would like to see flying is: a dragon.

I shouldn’t: waste my time on silly memes.

Last night I: farted. In Satan’s name.

If I could have any car it would be: the Batmobile. Or a tank.

I’ve been told I look like: Tom Cruise. Seriously. And, no, I don’t. Not remotely.