Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Post #994 - Meme Time

Stolen from the Monogram Queen.

My roommate and I once: lived under the same roof.

Never in my life have I: squirted sulfuric acid into my eyes while dancing an Irish jig and screaming "Funky poodles rule the afterbirth". Check back next week to see if this is still true.

High school was: a time I regret not attempting a mass murder/suicide with my friend's uncle's WWII mortar shells. Actually that was junior high.

When I am nervous I: appear the same as when I am not nervous, which is the same as when I am deliriously happy or planning to kill everyone in the building.

My hair is: on top of my head (and under my arm pits, in my crotch, etc.).

When I was 5: I plotted to kill both of my parents, but chickened out because the trigger pull on the .357 magnum was too much for me to squeeze off two rounds in rapid succession.

By this time next year: I hope to have a Japanese woman trapped in my closet. It's a large walk-in, about the size of the typical Tokyo hotel room, so she won't suffer as long as she avoids the spikes on the walls.

I have a hard time understanding: why Japanese women find me so resistable.

You know I like you if: I tell you or give you stuff.

My ideal breakfast is: sleep. If I have to be awake, miso soup and green tea.

If you visit my hometown: I will take you out for sushi and ask your help in kidnapping one of the waitresses.

If you spend the night at my house: Japanese horror films and anal sex galore!

My favorite blonde is: ewww…blondes aren’t Asian.

My favorite brunette is: ewww…brunettes aren’t Asian.

The animal I would like to see flying is: a dragon.

I shouldn’t: waste my time on silly memes.

Last night I: farted. In Satan’s name.

If I could have any car it would be: the Batmobile. Or a tank.

I’ve been told I look like: Tom Cruise. Seriously. And, no, I don’t. Not remotely.

7 comments:

Patti said...

Oh.Mah.Gah. I am FAMOUS! I made the top header of this post! Giddy with excitement. ~Whee~!

Tracy Lynn said...

Right on, dude. The Batmobile ROCKS and next time I'm in Atlanta, I'll bring the rohypnol, and BAM! No more resistible you.

metalmom said...

Japanese horror movies!!!......COOL!!

Anal sex galore!!!!!.....Um...NOT SO COOL!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I am SO with you on the flying dragon thing and the perfect breakfast.

~Deb said...

OMG! You're demented and I love it. A closet of Japanese women? Well, for my sake, tell them, "COME OUT OF THE CLOSET FOR DEB!" baha!!

Please don't tell me you eat meso soup for breakfast. Green tea - great, meso - hrmmm...

LOVE the new layout. GRANTICHRIST!

Sweet GEEZUS!

messiah said...

the original batmobile? or the rumbler from batman begins?

グラント said...

patti - based on the comments you receive, you were already more famouser than me.

tracy - or a simple cricket bat will do fine.

metalmom - I'm sorry, but it's a package deal.

pq - you didn't object to anything else, so I assume the J-horror and anal sex is a go.

~deb - I fought too hard to get them into the closet to let them loose just yet.

messiah - I think the 60's model for the weekends and the tumbler for the daily commute. You can have the Tim Burton model.