Monday, March 03, 2008

Freaky Legs

A fellow seether blogger claimed that the 日本の兎 in the picture below has freaky legs. The reason for this is: radish legs. Typically, Asians have shorter legs with proportionally thicker calves than their Western counterparts. Several hundred years ago the Japanese viewed these and other differences (like light hair and round eyes) as proof of our inferiority. Now they're paying serious money to endure surgery and other procedures to look more like us.

Beauty Tip #1 - to look more American, batter and fry everything you eat and stop walking / biking everywhere.

Beauty Tip #2 - alternatively, move to a place where your natural beauty is appreciated, such as my apartment.

Seriously - have some sense of moderation, J-bunnies. We're neither filthy barbarians or paragons of beauty, except for me. I have both covered.


Patti said...

Leave it to you to have them both covered! I love how you call them J bunnies!

Patti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tai said...

You're a filthy barbarian AND a paragon of beauty?
You really DO have it all.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Damn...I have radish legs too! But mine are Radish-American instead of Radish-Asian.

See, Radish-American women have cankles, not ankles.

Is there a surgery for that (other than amputation???)


Eh, nevermind.

SSC said...

So tell about your weekend.

metalmom said...

Radish-legs? I've always heard them called cankles too.

And yeah...what ssc said...What about the weekend?

Tracy Lynn said...

I knew there was a reason why I couldn't have her.

~Deb said...

My ex-boyfriend was Japanese and hated his calves, because they were thicker than his upper legs! But, to me, he was beautiful - his features were just amazing. He biked everywhere too - and LIVED in NY, always kept fit and did his martial arts outside my lawn... His health and appearance were amazing.

WHY are Asians trying to look more like Americans? You know, when I go out or do my make up, because of my eyes, I enhance them to appear more "Asian" than American? Even though I'm Italian, some people mistaken me for Asian.

Thank God!!! :)

Joe said...

Sounds like you've covered all of the bases here, Grant. Well done.

Okami said...

While I completely agree that we should look into turning your apartment into a sanctuary for the multitude of J-bunnies who clearly need brand of protection, I draw the line at letting you promote it as a mere "appreciation" of their beauty.

Metalmom said...

PSST! Come and see what I did for you!

グラント said...

patti - today's J-lesson - call them usagi (pronounced ooh-sah-gee).

tai - I'm the complete package.

pq - the article mentioned calf-extention surgery, which should solve the cankle issue, possibly by crippling you.

ssc - done.

metalmom - and done.

tracy - you can have her when I'm finished if you don't mind a bunny that can only sit in the corner, whimper, and soil herself.

~deb - I knew there was something I liked about you, Come here, little zaftig almost bunny. :p

joe - now I just need to set the trap with the right bait. I'm thinking fatty tuna sushi (おとろ).

お神 - will you feel better about it if I promise to have a lot of sex with them all?

Okami said...

Yes....yes I will.