Monday, February 04, 2008

Introduction Cards

First off – do not type “introductory card” into a search engine unless you’re looking for about a billion companies offering you a new and exciting way to get into debt. Sometimes I think our economy is based on debt. That, and suing each other.

You know how when you have a big meeting and you prepare for it – statistics, graphs, slides, speech, cyanide pills – and then you go over and over every possible flaw until you march confidently into the board room and realize that everyone has an armadillo strapped to their head and their underwear is overflowing with Jell-o and then, no matter how brilliant your presentation, you know you’ll just be remembered as the freak who showed without an armadillo strapped to your head and without Jell-o oozing from your underwear? Well, I felt that way at the JASG’s dinner when all the Japanese had some kind of business card to exchange and I didn’t. So, I ordered some cards and got them yesterday.


Back - I should have left it blank

Fortunately, the printed versions look better. I ordered them from VistaPrint and I have no complaint except for who they used to ship: DHL. In my opinion, DHL is the worst shipping company around with the possible exceptions of UPS, FedEx, and the post office (I've had problems with them all). The only one I've seen that's worse is RPS, which I didn't include since I think they went belly-up, a move that only marginally affected their delivery times.

This time wasn't too bad. According to DHL's tracking site they left my package sitting in Michigan for a couple of days, got it here, and attempted to deliver it but nobody was home. I contacted DHL who told me my only options were to be home during business hours (they said they don't deliver on Saturday), or leave a note on my door telling them to leave it there or deliver to a neighbor. None of those are acceptible options since the only thing I know about my neighbors is that one of them stole my keys. DHL said the note left on my door would provide further instruction, but there was no note. In the meantime, VistaPrint apologized and said they would try again to actually deliver what I bought. I was home sick Monday, thinking that at least I would finally get my package, when I checked DHL's tracking site again and found that they later updated it to say they dropped it at the office six hours after saying they would attempt delivery another day.

At least I got my package. This is much better than my friend who is forced to routinely deal with them. He says his local driver delivers by stopping in the road and flinging his packages onto his driveway. It's hard to write witty stories when life stays three steps ahead of anything I can fabricate.


Doug Murata said...

My dad says that the economy is built on waste. A company has to develop something, which they do and on time and under budget, but not up to spec. Then they have to hire contractors to get it up to spec. When the something is finally developed, it's way behind schedule and way over the budget, but version 1.0 got out on time and under budget, so that's what people focus on. Meanwhile, money has been thrown at the problem to get it fixed, and jobs were created because the contractors had to be hired. It's good for the economy, but bad for the business.

He also told me that I shouldn't try to contribute to the economy this way. Just let everyone else do that, while I should save the company money and keep my job secure.

I can't remember the last time I got anything shipped by DHL. I usually have problems with UPS. Not so much with FedEx. However, to be fair to UPS, I get so much shipped by them that I have many more "positive" experiences (i.e. things went the way they were supposed to) than negative ones.

P.S. I'm sorry, グラント, but I'm not that interested in seeing the rest of the information on your card.

Patti said...

Those cards are SO "you" Grant!

SSC said...

Your off the hook!!!!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I honest to God had no idea DHL was still even around. Fed Ex usually always does me right anyways.

I'm lovin' the cards though...:)

グラント said...

doug - so, whenever I go to the toilet I'm bolstering the local economy? I have got to add this to my resume.

patti - bear in mind that the actual cards don't solicit sex from Japanese women, but I may add that to the next batch.

ssc - thanks.

pq - I rarely see their trucks in my neighborhood. The company is Canadian - maybe they're more popular up there.

Kira said...

Look, you've tried all manner of other tactics--why not use those cards? I'm sure they're way more interesting than the ones you printed up anyway. And let me be around you when you start handing them out.

グラント said...

kira - I think I'll pin one to the wooden mallet I use to bag my Japanese girlfriend.