Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Dental Date

Tomorrow I get to visit the lovely Ninja Bunny Dentist for a double-length torture session. I have my best outfit ready (charcoal trousers and a black golf shirt), my shoes polished (Wolverine Durashocks), and I’m ready to put my best face forward. Unfortunately, that happens to be my butt.

I recently noticed that all the leg exercises, especially the squats and treadmill time, have added another super power to Zorzan – Buns of Steel. The rest of me (except for my lower back and head) is still a work in progress, but my bottom is now rock solid. Okay, there’s still a thin layer of padding, but that’s to provide better armor. This is just the thing I need to impress NBD into asking me out. When she comes to visit me in the room of pain, I can leap on top of the dental chair, drop my pants, and show her my iron butt. “Yeah, baby. Smack that ass. Go on, touch it. You know you wanna. Etc.”

Of course, I’ve heard that chicks did subtlety. Maybe a more toned down approach would better serve. Instead of the jump on the table and dance nekkid approach, I could just sit in the chair and wait for her to notice. Normally the dental rack is not good for displaying your bum, but if I lie in it facedown it should improve my chances. I’ll be sure to flex the appropriate muscles to draw her attention. Also I’ll have to ditch the gray pants for a pair of assless chaps. I don’t want to be too subtle and have her miss my transformation.

6 comments:

Butterscotch said...

I love that my mind insists on visualizing everything I read.

Valkyrie said...

If I can get a date, you can get a date. You go, Grant.

Weary Hag said...

Perhaps if you paint a wide-toothed smiley grin on that hard ass, she might be more impressed. I know I sure would be.

annush said...

how about you give her a picture of your ass? i mean, i can't imagine enduring whatever it is that she is gonna do to you bare assed!

sands of time said...

Maybe your shoelaces will come undone and you'll need to bend down in front of her and give her a look at that toned ass.
Personally though i must confess to checking out guys asses when they walk in front of me.

Corona Red said...

Did she wear the ears again? Surely it was close to Easter or something.