Greetings

One of my bosses instructed me to change my voicemail greetings. We recently switched to a new system that requires longer passwords and many more commands to achieve the same things as before, so naturally all of our old greetings were lost.

So, I'm sitting at my desk feeling like an idiot because I'm informing nobody that I'm not at my desk when I actually am. After several menu options I finally get two greetings recorded, which is the required minimum (my name and the "I'm here but can't answer the phone" message). The new system has added several additional greetings to choose from, like "I'm working from home and can't answer this phone," "I'm on vacation and can't answer the phone," "I'm not here but out for reasons other than vacation and can't answer the phone," and a few others. No option for "I'm here but don't want to talk to you now. Call back later, and I won't want to talk to you then either. Just send me a fucking e-mail, already."

Anyway, I have complied with management's wishes. Now when people call, instead of hearing a pleasant female voice say "The party you have reached is not available. Please leave a message." they instead hear "I'm not available. Please leave a message." It's those personal touches that ensure a company's success. In fact, to improve the process further, I think I'll stay here and personally answer the phone with "The party you have reached has just answered the phone. Please leave a message...by e-mail." *click*

Another job well done, out