Wednesday, August 04, 2004


You know what I haven't done since I started blogging? No, not that (keep your filthy thoughts to yourself). I haven't railed on religion. But I will now.

First off, let me say that I have the greatest respect for people of faith who half (okay, three-quarter) ass make an attempt to follow the guidelines they espouse. I may not agree with you, but as a some-color blooded American, I believe in your right to believe. Having said that, I strenuously urinate on those who proselytize a religion without following its basic tenets (read: hypocrites).

To understand my position, you need my history. For those of you without the benefit of a spare lifetime, I will summarize:

At age six my mother sat us down (me, my older sister, and herself) and informed us:
Mom: WE don't believe in the bible.
(even at that age, I wanted to question the wisdom of flatly informing me of what WE believed, but I didn't. I respected her ability to hit.)
Mom: I think a bunch of people just made it up, then a bunch of fools decided to believe in it.

Okay, so we were atheists. Flash forward seven years, after the mormon missionaries talked to us.
Mom: WE believe in the bible, book of mormon, pearl of great wisdom and whatever else I say.

Flash forward three years to some Baptist church.
Mom: WE don't agree with the mormons. They are a bunch of godless heathens.
Sunday School Teacher: Rock music takes control of your mind and makes you commit heinous acts, like underaged sex and taking drugs.
Me: These people are weird.
Mom: Shut up. Church is in session.
Preacher: Women should be subservient to the needs of their men.
Mom: WE're gone.

Next year at another Baptist church (hey, where you gonna go around here?).
Preacher: Breadwinners, do your thing as long as you pitch in 10%.
Mom: WE are Baptists.

I'll pick this up tomorrow. I promise anger then.

Messianic, out

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