Monday, February 28, 2011

Every day is a fresh chance to turn it all around and reach a new low

So Saturday was my day of rest and I slept until after noon, went to the store, slept some more, had a half cup of orange sugar-free Jell-O for dinner, and then spent most of the evening on the toilet.

I've read that a lot of people get upset stomachs from eating too many foods made with artificial sweeteners, and (surprise) I am one of them. And apparently "too many" in my case is equal to more than one serving in a single day, or a serving a day three days running. Popcorn is often pushed as being the healthiest snack for diabetics because it is a whole grain, supposed to be the foundation of our entire diet. This is one of the rare times I lucked out since I love popcorn, although then they go and ruin the suggestion by further saying you should eat it air-popped with no salt or butter. Anyone who's ever had it that way knows the taste and consistency is similar to Styrofoam packing peanuts, albeit a little less mouth-watering.

I should just rename this The Blog of Shart.


Pearl said...

That is no way to spend a Saturday. You have my sympathies.

I, too, spent most of Saturday in a prone position, but that was my own damn fault, having drunk my weight in beer the night before.

:-) That may not be entirely truthful, but you get the picture.


Robin said...

Now that's just no fun.

Jay said...

Sugar substitutes like Splenda just tear me up.

I like white cheddar and butter on my popcorn.

NYD said...

If you hook up a wireless set up to your computer you could take your machine to the toilet with you.

Then you can rename this place; Blogging from the Bowl...

Kira said...

I avoid sugar substitutes like the plague. But tnen again, I'm not a diabetic (yet--thanks, Dad!), so I have a choice if I want something sweet. Still...Jello? Seriously? Why? If you want to shart all day, and I'm certain that is your goal, could you not have it triggered by something more exciting than Jello? What is this? A plea for me to bring you more Kira food so you can avoid eating Jello?

Muskrat said...

Hey, Sorry to have missed you Saturday night! Hope you had a good weekend and enjoyed your visit with Adam on Sunday.

Murr Brewster said...

I'm with NYD, there. Or you could do a plopcast.

PBS said...

I like a combo of chili powder and cinnamon on popcorn. Or sometimes garlic powder, turmeric and parmesan cheese. Either way is good.

Grant said...

Pearl - you don't look very heavy, so I bet I could totally drink your weight in beer. And oddly enough, alcohol is one of the few things that does not upset my stomach.

Robin - where did you get that impression?

Jay - have you tried Stevia? That's the latest miracle all-natural processed fake sugar which has no ill effects until next year when they announce a tentative link between Stevia and exploding testicles.

NYD - and I could do clever real-time posts of what I'm thinking, all of which would sound like "Oh, god, why the fuuuuuuuck..."

Kira - I love Jell-O because it is light and sweet and so easy on the stomach and it is perfect when I can only handle a tiny portion, except that the artificial sweeteners now make it worse than eating a bacon and mayo sandwich.

Muskrat - as you can tell by this post, I had a wonderful weekend.

Murr Brewster - ewwww. :p

PBS - all of those sound tasty and would probably send me running to the toilet as well.