Friday, July 16, 2010

Now I know how the settlers felt

The condenser on my a/c unit fried, which is the thingy that makes the air cold. Now my a/c only blows hot air, which is not really useful in July in Georgia. Having no a/c is like losing a loved one in that you keep wanting to turn to it only to remember it's no longer there, except that when a relative dies people bring you casseroles. When your a/c dies, everyone avoids you until you get it fixed. Also, relatives hate it when you refer to them as "it".

So, last night as my every thought turned my beloved a/c, I sweated and toiled through the evening - eating my fresh pineapple chunks, having several cold beers, and playing video games and watching Farscape via online viewing from NetFlix streamed to my Wii. It occurred to me that this must be what it was like to have lived during the dark ages, or possibly as a settler to our shores fleeing the religious persecution of England so we could force the natives to convert to xtianity. It's comforting to know that I, unlike you, have not become soft and can still survive under such adverse conditions, at least long overnight before I climb into my air-conditioned car and spend the bulk of the day in my climate-controlled cubicle.

And, no, I didn't try opening the windows. When you live in a populated area in the South, the humidity is generally around 12,856% and all that water in the air helps to trap things like pollen, heat, and smells from the foliage and roads. Imagine that someone opened a tar factory in the middle of a swamp and you'll have some idea.

In closing, I am awesome and I will now leave you with a picture of how last night felt.

In other news, I discovered I can't draw sweat drops emanating from me that don't look like unidentifiable splotches. I guess I can't be perfect at everything.

11 comments:

metalmom said...

HAHA!! I tried to mail you some popsicles, but they melted before they got to the post office.

I cried when my AC broke a year or two ago. I had to suffer for a whole three hours until I could buy a new one. Ugh! I nearly started sweating, it as so bad.

So yeah, I feel your pain!

BWAHAHAHA!!

Jay said...

May air went out in August for like 4 days when I lived in San Antonio. It was brutal, but I manned up and got through it. Ha, just kidding! I stay in a motel room the whole time.

Avitable said...

Fuck health care, I think we should have universal air conditioning.

tiff said...

I

feel

your

pain.

Whitemist said...

Not fun in Georgia, been through it in Central Texas, as a kid and did not find it so bad. There is a huge difference in Very Dry Central Texas and Georgia.

Maundering mutterer said...

Grant, I always knew you were hot, but this beats all! Beware of spontaneous combustion and get that thing fixed! PS: just as well you don't try to turn on dead relatives.

Ricardo said...

I hate humidity and it has been out of control up here and even worse in New York. Get a new A/C...pronto!!!

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Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I wish I had read this the day you posted it, because I would have started a new "my A/C died a horrible death" tradition: Popsicles.

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