Thursday, May 20, 2010

Medical Fun, Part the Latest

So I went to the local eye care salon / dental clinic / cemetery and had my eye exam. The doctor and staff all seemed competent, and the news wasn't as disastrous as I feared. ("Check again - are you SURE you're not blind?") My eyesight will never again be what it once was, but corrective lenses should put an end to my need for sonar (I steer by turning the car when I hear the horn echo off buildings or people). I got a nice set of frames made by Harley-Davidson that should go well with my coat and boots, and now the only missing accessory I need is the actual motorcycle. The cost was reasonable, although more than half of my bill was due to the optional Teflon coating. I got it because they said it would help my night driving, then I later heard from a friend that the coating is supposed to protect the lenses from scratching. Does anybody have any knowledge of / experience with coated vs. uncoated lenses? Does it actually help anything, or is it just like the undercoating from the car dealership that has no real function except to inflate the price? Should I get one coated lens and one uncoated so I can drive around alternating eyes to see the difference? Will the Teflon make them cop killer glasses that can fry eggs without any sticky residue?

MEDICAL LIE OF THE DAY: "These eye drops will not affect your ability to drive." HA HA HA HA HA that was a good one. You know how, just for fun, you like to rub your eyes until they feel swollen and scratchy and tear over, then tape your eyelids back and stare at the sun? If that condition doesn't affect your driving, then kindly get your car out of my living room. I only had to drive about a mile home, but it was a scary ride.

Fortunately a friend drove us to dinner and a movie. We ate Korean, which was more exotic than I would have liked, plus the menu was difficult to read because it was blurry and over-exposed. I thought tiny Korean women would be just as hot as the Japanese, but it turns out they're all blurry and over-exposed as well. As is their food. Then we saw Iron Man 2 on the IMAX screen, which was nice but was not as great of an IMAX film as I had hoped because they didn't make full use of the IMAX format, the movie was fun but not quite up to the standards of the first one, there was more high-flying daytime action in the first one (perfect for IMAX), and the beginning of the film was blurry and over-exposed. By the second half, though, the director learned a thing or two and it looked much better.

Naturally, at the end of my visit, I had to schedule more visits with the optometrist and other eye guys. I wish dating was as easy. "Of course I'll go out with you again. Let's schedule three more dates right now! And here are some of my friends who would like to blow you too."

Example of someone not involved in my healthcare in any way:


Avitable said...

That bunny looks like she might a ladyboy.

I've only seen one movie on IMAX - Dark Knight, and the scenes shot in the IMAX format literally made me gasp. They were amazing.

metalmom said...

I like the Medical lie of the day. It rates up there with "This won't hurt a bit" and "That rash will clear up on its own."

Jay said...

They make Harley Davidson frames for glasses? I had no idea.

I've never seen a movie at the Imax. I wanted to see The Dark Knight there, but never got the chance.

Maundering mutterer said...

I've never heard of Teflon coating for specs though I've worn them most of my life. Maybe it stops them from sticking to your face when it gets hot? Not that mine have ever done so. Harley frames? If they're not noisy they're not authentic.

Neath said...

I can't speak as to wether or not the coating effects night driving. I've never personally noticed a difference. I can say that the one time I skipped getting my lenses coated I regretted it in just 2 months. They were all scratched to shit. My current pair has the coating and, in the 2 years I've had them, I've only gotten one tiny scratch in the corner of one lense.
The coating is definately worth the price. Unless, of course, you'd prefer to replace your lenses every two months.....

tiff said...

You made me LOL with the eye rubbing thing.

Thanks - I needed that!

messiah said...

IIRC - there's several types of coatings. Some help prevent scratching. I know there's at least one or two that are supposed to help reduce reflections. I was also told that you can only actually get one coating on a lens - otherwise they peel off of each other. They seemed to be alluding to the two coatings actually being one coating with two effects - charged by the one hour lab by the effect.

Never heard of teflon coating, but google claims: Teflon Easycare is a type of anti-reflective clear coating for eyeglass lenses. The reduction in reflection associated with these lenses allows people to see more clearly compared with regular lenses. Anti-reflective lenses are especially good for people who need to drive in the dark, who use a computer or play video games, or who work in fluorescent lighting. The coating repels dust and oil, so the lenses are easy to keep clean.

I've never known anti-scratch coatings to actually work - they may be sold on the above note where they repel minute particles that may cause unnoticeable scratches if you clean them carelessly.

Ricardo said...

Who knew the boys at Harley made frames for glasses!

I say get the bike to fully accessorize.

Good luck with the clear vision.

Kerry said...

As I sit here laughing my arse off... I feel bad for you because of all this crap. But its so funny! Well, wait. Its not funny that its happening... its funny how you describe it all. You get what i'm saying ;)

It gets so insane that you can only make fun :) congrats on scoring some drugs finally.

Realliveman said...

Shit, I love this blog!!!

Whitemist said...

And WHY isn't the Asian Bun, excuse me, nurse not included with your regular medical exam???
On Teflon coating, they are appropriate for someone like me who has no depth perception and so might miss a step in plain sight and go tumbling down, scratching his glasses in the mean time, but for regular person, not a real issue. Now the thing about the undercoating for cars is a thing IF you live in New England where they salt the road white on a regular basis every winter and year old cars look like 50 year old cars in the Arizona dessert.

Grant said...

Avitable - ladyboys need love too. And try to catch a 3D movie on an IMAX screen - there is no comparison with the others.

metalmom - my doctors seem to think my diabetes will clear up on its own also.

Jay - Avatar was mind-blowing. If another 3D movie comes out that interests you, I highly recommend the experience.

Maundering mutterer - the instructions said I'm legally obligated to make the Harley noises by mouth whenever I have them on.

Neath - I wonder if Armor All works just as well? I could get a nice gloss finish.

tiff - LOLing is better than sharting.

messiah - I'm still waiting for the glasses. I went to a regular optometrist where they get the work done "in about a week."

Ricardo - I didn't know they made frames, but they were affordable and I liked them better than the others. The HD logo is a plus.

Kerry - now if I can just take the drug bunny home too, it will be a serious win situation.

Realliveman - I talk to my feces too. Cool.

Whitemist - I don't understand why all these hospitals insist on using non-Asian nurses, but it's a trend I don't appreciate.

Muskrat said...

i need to do imax...i never get to any more like i did when i was in the tennessee air national guard and thus had weekends to myself every month and stayed in a hotel that was close to opry mills, which has imax screens (but is now full of flood water).

Robin said...

I hate to say this but I might have to agree with Avitable on this one.

Grant said...

Muskrat - just tell the wife you're going out for formula and catch the latest IMAX offering. This weekend it's Shrek IV.

Robin - on the IMAX or bunny issue?

Monogram Queen said...

Ladyboy?! Ladyboy?! Assphinctersaywhat?

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