Monday, May 10, 2010

I can has futon

As a pre-present to myself, I recently bought the largest and most expensive piece of furniture I've ever gotten outside of my bed - a futon. Now my apartment has real furniture in it and visitors can quit asking if I'm still moving in. It has magazine racks for my Wii games, storage space in the arms, and it makes both a comfy bed and couch, although it pretty much stays in bed mode when I don't have company. Plus it came with two throw pillows. I can't wait to have guests so I can throw them at people.

I also got another gift, bill #4 from the gastroenterologist. This one was the 2nd bill for the lab work performed. When I saw they wanted $115 from me, I assumed they didn't bill my insurance company. Then I read the entire bill and saw that the original bill was for about $2,700, knocked down to under $600 by my insurance company, and they paid everything but the last $115. The tests show that I have diabetes and should probably see a doctor. Dickbags.

Also a shout-out to all you mothers out there. I hope you had a good Mother's Day, unless you are anything like my mother, in which case I hope you spent the day being repeatedly set on fire and gored by a rhino. You know you have it coming.

11 comments:

Robin said...

My mother's day was spent annoying my furkids all day long.

Jay said...

I had a futon that I gave a way recently. If I had known you needed one I would have given it to you.

Prata said...

Mmmm...futon. Nothin' like nailin' bunny on the futon...and sending her back to her cage to sleep. Werd.

Captain Dumbass said...

Burning and gored, nice.

SJ said...

You have visitors????

Kira said...

Now you and Alex can snuggle together on the futon while I sit in the comfy chair next to you both. Awesome! ;)

Grant said...

Robin - furkids is people in my book.

Jay - thanks, but then I'd be forced to imagine you naked and sweaty and having sex on it with Kobe Tai.

Prata - mine has enough storage space beneath it for a couple of J-sized bunnies. And my Wii balance board.

Captain Dumbass - you know some of them deserve it.

SJ - sometimes the Jehovah's Witnesses come by and I entertain before killing them and dumping the bodies, so that counts.

Kira - well, duh. Why do you think I bought it?

Muskrat said...

i think that's the harshest mother's day greeting i've ever heard. you should get an award. a nasty one. maybe a turd on a platform gilded in bronze?

Grant said...

Muskrat - awesome! The gilded turd. I'm so honored.

Monogram Queen said...

I slept on a futon once, it was not a pleasant experience. Let's hope they have come a long way since then and yours is far superior!

Grant said...

Monogram Queen - my futon is awesome. Rooms to Go seems to have some nice stuff. Plus it's a serious step up from an air mattress.