Friday, January 29, 2010

Update on American Public Schools

Yesterday was entertaining because my across the aisle cubicle neighbor had to call his son's school and talk to the teacher. Basically the entire conversation consisted of him forcibly maintaining a calm demeanor and repeatedly trying to finish a sentence while the uptight bitch threw a hissy fit over his kid's delinquent behavior (I could hear her even though the phone was not on speaker). What was his crime, you might ask (if you were here)? Did he shank another student? Graffiti "The principal is a poo-poo bubble" on the walls? Chew gum? Write "omit" for every test answer he didn't know*? No, he asked for permission to go to the bathroom and was denied, but went anyway. You just know he'll be into running guns and gang rape next.

I don't know how old the kid is, although his father admitted he's not old enough to know how to be diplomatic in those situations. The father did manage to calm the teacher long enough to explain that he already informed the school administration that his son has bladder problems, that he needs to be allowed to use the restroom whenever he asks, and if he is denied he is to go anyway and then call his dad. The teacher countered by saying it is school policy to not let children leave the classroom to use the toilet, and that she believes the kid should have to carry a note at all times saying he has parental permission to make wee-wee. At the end of the conversation, the father was forced to leave work early because the teacher was still shouting about the lack of respect shown by his son. There's probably some irony at play here, but it's too subtle for me to see.

This is why I'm glad I don't have children. I remember what the twats who run public education were like, and I would be too tempted to kill one just as an example to the others that they are neither the world's highest authority nor untouchable. At the very least I would have instructed my kid to, in the future, ask for permission to go and if denied, piss on the teacher. Repeat until a sense of decency sinks in.

My teachers / principals / guidance counselors / coaches / wardens always said I would come to understand their point of view once I grew up, which apparently never happened because I still think of them as a bunch of petty tyrants who lack the intelligence to handle a real job more difficult than food service (that belief was bolstered by the number of faculty members I saw working in Shoney's during summer break). But, I admit I am neither a parent nor a public school worker. If you have experience with either, please let me know if there is a good reason for our so-called educators to employ such twattery. Linking to a statistic that proves making piddle in the middle of class time leads to impotence and heroin abuse would be a big help.

* They hate that.

16 comments:

Mighty Hunter said...

Good fucking god man, I agree with you on this one.

The thing is, though: The good educators? The ones that know what their job is and do it with a minimum of fuss? The ones that actually care about imparting knowledge and not being a little Nero?

Those teachers are pretty fucking awesome.

dr.alistair said...

what i have noticed is that unless your progeny shows clear signs of wanting to become a teacher themselves, they get shunted into a file whereby all manner of shit gets piled on thier heads....including but not limited to; add, adhd, hearing problems, dsyslexia, restless limb syndrome(i shit you not.), being too much of a boy(!), anxious, depressed, bringing a laser pointer to school, wanting to play guitar in the band (apparently that`s a crime now.), and the list goes on.

being educated by trade-unionists is the problem. norrow-minded autocrats with no regard for the personal needs of the child...mostly women desperately in need of experiencing thier first orgasm.

these are the same women i see huddled in groups at starbucks during professional developemnt days when my kids should be in school. fucking over-paid babysitters.

and let`s not get started on summer holidays.

Whitemist said...

Totally agree with all points, especially the one about not having kids...I would be one death row with multiple counts on my head.

Avitable said...

I had some good teachers and some good administrators who I respect greatly, but many of them were big fish in their little ponds.

Captain Dumbass said...

Wow. I would definitely be jumping right off the fuckin deep end if a teacher called me like that about one of my kids.

SJ said...

Interesting topic *hides the list of teachers covered in blood*

Jay said...

I would probably just tell the teacher "Okay, thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll beat the hell out of him when he gets home. He won't be a problem again." And then hang up.

dr.alistair said...

one teacher called me suggesting my child should be tested for hearing deficits.....i thought, no, he`s just ignoring you. she almost had my ex convinced to have him tested on our dime. c*nt.

PBS said...

That's just plain cruel and unreasonable. It was because of bad behaviors like that on the part of school personnel that I ending up homeschooling long before it became fashionable.

Kira said...

Well, we've talked about this one before, Grant. I'm just lucky that in my kids' schools (IN SOUTH CAROLINA, I'd like to add, in one of the top 10 school districts in the US...IN SOUTH CAROLINA, I continue to stress, since our education system is usually rightly seen as a craphole example of all that has gone wrong in US education, but it just so happens that even in a cesspool you can occasionally find a lovely flower), I have been pleased beyond belief over all their teachers and what's been done. These teachers care. These teachers didn't label my shy, sweet son as a problem because he gets so anxietized over a lot of stuff. Nor did they do anything but be supportive when he cried because he had to do a presentation in the class (and the class itself rallied around him, cheering him on, with one little boy who made up a sign in the background that said, "You can do it Jared!" and waved it around wildly while he finally managed to stutter out his speech). The school is great. The kids are great. The teachers are great. And it's a public school. But yes, I know EXACTLY how lucky I am and the kids are to be here. I've seen morons do all sorts of things that should never be done in the school system. And that's why when I taught college level English, I had so many students come into my office and say that I was the first teacher they ever had who seemed to care about them. It makes me sad, and I often wonder how many great minds we've lost because the great minds have been squashed along the way by petty tyranny...

Neath said...

One of the biggest beefs I'm growing towards the education system here (New Brunswick, Canada) is how teachers over-react to some situations and ignore others. This scenario is not uncommon: Teacher asks student A what he/she had for breakfast. Student answers that they had a bowl of cereal. School calls family services and files a complaint that the child is not being propperly fed. Meanwhile, student B is going to school with black eyes every second day, no lunch and shrinks away from any adult that raises their voice. But, somehow no-one seems to notice this or report the apperant abuse.

Grant said...

Mighty Hunter - I was with you until you mentioned good educators, then I knew you were writing satire.

dr.alistair - I definitely think our public school system would be better served by having no union. Or by having an economy in which everyone is rich enough to go to private schools.

Whitemist - pets are much easier to care for since you don't have to prepare them for college.

Avitable - good teachers - ha ha ha, you're such a kidder. Actually, my best school had mostly coaches, but one of them was decent.

Captain Dumbass - apparently your kids don't go to the bathroom. It's a real hot button around here.

SJ - I do think they should reinstate the death penalty for educators.

Jay - she'd probably call back the next day if there weren't any visible marks on the kid.

dr.alistair - you should have put the phone down, shouted "Can you hear me?", then picked up the phone and said "He passed".

PBS - according to the teacher's union, home-schooling will make your child into a bed-wetting serial killer, and since they're teachers they can't be biased or wrong about anything.

Kira - keep your shart flowers to yourself. :p Just wait until they hit junior high school. "Our Motto - #1 in unplanned teen pregnancies and heroin addiction."

Neath - the proper response should have been to ask what kind of cereal before labeling it as deficient. Captain Crunch rules! But Wheaties are just a form of abuse to me and should be reported.

Kerry said...

OMG! What a complete moron! (the teacher) ;) In my class, I request every student raise their hand and ask for permission to go to the restroom. I ALWAYS let them go because me, of all people, understand how sometimes you dont have to go them BOOM ya gotta go. When the pee hits, it hits. Plus I dont want to clean up their freaking mess. Plus, why not let them go!?! Its not like they are missing a day of class... 30 seconds max. Now, i've also instructed them if they feel the urge to blow chunks or have the hershey squirts, they are to run, not walk, to the nearest trash or bathroom and blow. Ask for permission later :)

I'm nice like that.

Grant said...

Kerry - since you're nice, we'll make an exception to the teacher death penalty rule. What we need are midgets to pose as children, ask to go to the bathroom, and if denied they should have the legal authority to execute the teachers on the spot.

Ricardo said...

I don't fucking get it and I think it's total BS. If he has bladder issues then he would have pissed himself and they'd be on the phone anyway about how his son s a slob and can't hold his bladder. This stuff is also why I can't have kids, I would not be able to contain my anger in this type of situation.

Grant said...

Ricardo - if they're intolerant of his bladder issues, I wonder how they'd like to deal with my shart problems.