Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Top 十, part 二

#2: Asami Yamazaki, aka “the crazy chick with the piano wire from Audition”, played by Eihi Shiina.

The good: she’s a sexy J-bunny and maybe she’ll sleep with me,
The bad: ...but then she’ll make me eat her vomit from a dog bowl…
The ugly: …before cutting off my feet.
Best line: “Deeper. Deeper.” (note – said in a cute, sing-song voice while pushing needles into her lover’s eyes and tongue)

She’s beautiful, but thin to the point where she looks cadaverous (something I doubt was a casting accident). She has a gentle soul, an artistic nature, and a touching background story which completely falls apart if you bother to check. She’ll torture you, but be very poetic about it. “Words create lies. Pain can be trusted.” Other women have played stalkers and psychopaths, but none have reached her level of creepy. Consider the way she sits slumped on the floor, seemingly inert, unable to function without the attention of the man warned to stay away from her, but when he finally gives in and calls she slowly comes to life beginning with a smile that doesn’t reach the eyes. It all begs the important question – does she cook, clean, and take it up the butt? Based on the amputated stump of a man living in a duffel bag in her apartment, #2 seems unlikely. But I’m still willing to date her.

10 comments:

Monogram Queen said...

Boy you have GOT to raise your standardes in women LOL

dr.alistair said...

as mq said.....

Robin said...

Oh that movie. That one scene, you know what I'm talking about, made my jump out of my fucking skin.

Jay said...

You know, it never occurred to me to make a top ten list into ten separate posts. That's clever. Next you can do top ten TV characters then top ten book characters. That will give you about six weeks of blog fodder. hahahaa

I've never heard of this movie. Maybe I'll try to find it online and check it out.

metalmom said...

You are right about the creep factor. She took it to a whole new level. I loved that movie and the torture was so poetic and creative.

SJ said...

The question is would give an arm and an leg to date her.

Grant said...

Monogram Queen - no, J-bunny trumps all.

dr.alistair - since you didn't submit an original comment, I direct you to my response to hers.

Robin - Takashi Miike is a master. You might enjoy his Ichi the Killer as well.

Jay - then I can do top ten animated characters, top ten anime characters, top ten comic book characters...

metalmom - I think it would make a great date movie. If only I could get a J-bunny into my apartment without rendering her unconscious first.

SJ - as long as it's not my favorite arm, yes.

dr.alistair said...

i could never understand torture. poetic or otherwise.

i think you have to be substantially overstimulated to need to be cut, bound or hit to feel things...

..but having said that, i thing many relationships are based on pushing toward conflict....because really, what`s the eventual ultimate end to this sort of thing?

Hit 40 said...

Your movie reviews are outstanding!! I need to bunny up and try this one.

Please don't listen to Jay!! NO BOOK REVIEWS!!!

Grant said...

dr.alistair - she just uses the direct method of torture rather than the long-term soul sucking method used by other wives.

Hit 40 - but books are good.