Thursday, July 02, 2009

Five Year Bloggyversary

It’s been five years now since my first post wherein I ruined the Internet by posting useless drivel, as opposed to all the salient data available before. During those years I have grown – nay, blossomed – from a healthy and intelligent IT professional beginning to be published in the realm of fiction but with no girlfriend into a perpetually sick old guy with memory problems, a lack of imagination, and still no girlfriend. For my wood anniversary, I decided to do something special and to share with you all the wisdom I have accumulated over the ages. So, for your edification, I list everything blogging has taught me.

1) Not much.
2) The Internet allows you to meet a diverse multitude of people, many of whom are amazingly stupid and use the anonymity of the bloggysphere to behave in ways they would never dare to in real life.
3) Despite making fun of their generally boring blog posts, the ones I call xtian mommy kitty bloggers tend to be the nicest and (surprisingly) most open-minded and accepting of all people. All of the considerable Internet drama I have been embroiled in has generally been with people best described as left-leaning socially liberal intellectuals. I would count myself as one of them, but that group has too many twats* for me to seek membership.
* for added fun, pronounce that word with a short “a” as in “hat”
4) Asian women are hot.

Thank you for enduring my words. As a reward, bunny follows. Since this is an anniversary post, only the hottest (2nd only to my dentist, that is) J-bunny Ebi-chan will do:

Bunny!

Hail Satan!

23 comments:

Enemy of the Republic said...

I don't think you've ruined the internet with Bunny or Satan. You've brought joy to the world, which may not have been your original intention.

Tracy Lynn said...

So it WAS you who ruined the internet. Bastard.

metalmom said...

"xtian mommy kitty bloggers tend to be the nicest" Is that so??? I am not one of them and I am fucking nice, asshole!!!

Happy anniversary and you can go to hell now.

Robin said...

Am I an xtian mommy kitty blogger?

ps. happy bloggaversary!!

Whitemist said...

I will go with the enemy of the republics thoughts on this. You definitely brightened my day and made me smile many times!

Hit 40 said...

OH!!! Austin will love this bunny. He is out mowing right now.

You got a serious laugh out loud to the wood anniversary!!!! If the little dude ever manages to bring home a bunny, I will take a picture of her for you. He seriously has a posse of hot girls that follow him around. For a nerd, he does ok.

I had to look up the word xtian!!!! LMAO!!!! Poor metalmom and robin. I shall go stalk them!!!!

Jay said...

Well somebody had to ruin the internets. Good job in being proactive and taking it upon yourself to do so without anyone having to tell you "go ruin the internets."

And happy bloggyversary.

SJ said...

What I learned is: I need to be less left-leaning socially liberal and more xtian mommy kitty blogger.

tiff said...

Al Gore ruined the intenet!

tiff said...

Oh, and happy blogaversary.

Hit 40 said...

Austin thought your bunny was very good, but a little flat. He may have to rethink bunnies if he is a boob guy.

Ricardo said...

Here's to another 5 and may Satan continue to to guide you toward blogging and bunny prosperity.

Nobius said...

Five years. Wow. You're getting old dude.

I hope you aren't about to die or something.

:)

Hit 40 said...

You left a comment about working in a cubicle at someones blog!!! I need a picture of where you hole up. Snap one for us.

Avitable said...

Hail Satan indeed.

dr.alistair said...

left-leaning socially liberal intellectuals.....sounds like canada.

algore didn`t invent the internet silly, he invented global warming.

GreenJello said...

Happy Bloggiversary!

I'm not sure if I qualify as a "xtian mommy kitty blogger", since I'm allergic to cats.

But we own one anyway.

That undermines me right there, doesn't it?

Kerry said...

Happy Blogaversary!!!!

Kira said...

SEE??? Austin is a GUY and he KNOWS the woman needs bigger tits. There blows your theory of girls only focusing on tits ;)

Hit 40 said...

LOL to Kira!!! Austin does like breasts!!!

April said...

Kira brought up a good point. Ethan likes the boobs too. So your theory is le-garbagé.

Happy five! I think I've been blogging for that long too. My current blog goes back to 2005 but I was blogging for a good year or so before that. Too bad I had to delete that. Some fierce ninja worriers found it and threatened me with death by tweezers. So I started a new one.

And wait a minute? You make fun of my posts? You bastard!

Circe said...

Are you saying Kerbear and I are mommy kitty bloggers? Her adorable Z is about 20 months old now and I periodically talk about my 3 cats...

And just for that I may have to post more cute cat pics in the near future. HA!

Seriously, we love you just the way you are and happy blogaversary!!!

Kathy B! said...

Dear lord, what is an xtain kitty blogger?! Do I dare even google it?! AM I ONE? Do I want to know if I am...

I'm going to go get some coffee before my head explodes.