Friday, May 15, 2009

There's a bunny - just scroll down

I was planning to give the answers to yesterday’s truth and lie meme in the comments section, but then I decided to cheat and use it as post fodder today. Then I started telling the stories and it got kind of long, so I decided to break it into three posts. Squee! I don’t know why this thrills me, except that I’ve had trouble writing and making blog posts ever since I got sick almost a year ago. Now I’m feeling better, more mobile, and able to post things other than pictures of hot Asian women, which (according to comments) will lower the quality of this blog.

Of the few of you that bothered to comment (bastards), Leesa was the only one to guess correctly. Statement 1 was true, 2 was serious BS, and 3 was close. If you ignored both of Thursday’s memes, then the Voodou curse of Zorzan be upon thee! On with explanation number one.

In the eleventh grade I skipped 32 days and still passed every class I had except Adult Living.

This one was true. The trick is that I attended a rural public school where most teachers wouldn’t fail any students simply because they didn’t want them back next year. That year I spent with my father. Since he liked being a big fish in a small pond, he moved to an extremely rural area of Kentucky and started a business. We lived in an area surrounded by corn and tobacco fields; our closest neighbors were cows unless you count the old couple who lived in a pink house some miles away.

The closest town had a human population of about 600 people, but was able to sustain six liquor stores since Tennessee's dry counties were near and the Kentucky drinking age was 18. Their tiny high school had 107 students, no sports, no cafeteria (they had vending machines and free time for lunch so you could leave, and they shipped poor students enrolled in the free lunch program to a larger elementary school), and only two clubs – FFA and FHA. That’s Future Farmers of America and Future Homemakers etc. The assumption was, if you lived there, you would either become a farmer or a farmer’s wife. Literally a third of the graduating seniors were married and/or pregnant. After living in the suburbs of Nashville, rural Kentucky felt like hillbilly hell. Yes, I know people think Nashville is just an oversized hick town, but they have shoes and ‘lectricity and forks and all that stuff them uppity Northerners got.

I had no interest in schoolwork, so I didn’t do any. I skipped classes constantly, and when I bothered to show I never did homework and frequently handed in blank tests with just my name written on them. The one class I did participate in was called Adult Living, which taught things like balancing a check book and managing a home mortgage and budget. I’ve been steadily employed since I turned 15 and already knew how to manage a budget and bank accounts, but the teacher was nice to me so I didn’t feel right about being a dick in return. Ironically, she was the only teacher who followed school policy and failed me for missing so many days.

Next year I moved back to Franklin, TN, where they didn’t teach Adult Living. If I’m not a viable adult, you know why. Now, by way of apology for all the words I made you scroll past, here is a J-bunny.

Bunny!

10 comments:

Hit 40 said...

HEY!!! I GOT IT RIGHT!!!!

I WILL CUT OFF YOUR ACCESS TO BUNNY PICTURES!!!! I KNOW THE CABLE GUY TO CUT YOUR INTERNET ACCESS!!!

Of course they passed you!!!!!! So would I.

Darn you. I give you an F.

Hit 40 said...

My son, Adam, is sitting her stalking me to try to get the computer.

He likes your site. Loves Asian women. His pick was the ones dressed like school girls.

He had me go back so he could take a picture of it with his cell phone. I didn't know about this fetish. Thanks

He said that his advanced math class is full of bunnies. They are hot!!!

Tracy Lynn said...

It took too long to get to the bunny.

Jay said...

I'm going to take advanced math with Hit 40's son.

That's the way it always goes dude. The teacher that is nice to you and you actual do the work is the one that will give you the "F." Happens all the time. I mean, not to me of course. None of my teachers liked me.

Well there was the English teacher. She loved me. But, she got arrested for shoplifting and went on "leave" and I got stuck with a mean old hag.

Real Live Lesbian said...

They had forks when you lived in Nashville? I wonder where they all went?

Since we only eat fried chicken, we really have no need for them at our house.

Nice bunny.

tiff said...

"A third of the graduating class was either married and/or pregnant."

You sure you didn't go to HS where I did my student teaching? For years I've been positive that it was the only school like it in the world.

Also - your Jbunny is cross-eyed!

SJ said...

Interesting school that so much for the modern media making kids aware that such a thing as sex exists.

Whitemist said...

Okay NOW I see the answer! Okay, I was right by Sherlock Holmes reasoning.
Funny, I grew up and went to schools in Houston Texas and the important things were how to ride and take care of a horse. Going to the rodeo, football and fishing, there was no other emphasis. They were rich so science trips and computers (1968) were available and of course I went that way.
But in some ways the place was kind of backwards, I mean farms next to skyscrapers, ranches next to suburban houses. Freeways which closed to let the wagons and horses for the rodeo come in.
Strange place.

Kerry said...

There are such great benefits to being in a small school.

All that, and yet you turned out ok. hmmmm

Bunnylord said...

hit 40 - you forgot to vote on which one was serious BS vs. the minor lie.

hit 40 - Adam has good taste. He should get pictures of his math bunny classmates and start his own picture blog.

tracy - you women have no patience.

jay - save me a seat. Bunnymath!

rll - I took them all with me when I moved to Birmingham.

tiff - she has eyes?

sj - all the sex education took place in after school study programs in the back seats of cars.

whitemist - we had family farms next to family farms. For fun, the teens would park in a parking lot and talk until the police ran them off. I definitely don't miss small towns.

kerry - yeah, once a tractor hauling tobacco dropped some on the road next to school and we picked it up and chewed it. Education rulz!