There's a bunny - just scroll down

I was planning to give the answers to yesterday’s truth and lie meme in the comments section, but then I decided to cheat and use it as post fodder today. Then I started telling the stories and it got kind of long, so I decided to break it into three posts. Squee! I don’t know why this thrills me, except that I’ve had trouble writing and making blog posts ever since I got sick almost a year ago. Now I’m feeling better, more mobile, and able to post things other than pictures of hot Asian women, which (according to comments) will lower the quality of this blog.

Of the few of you that bothered to comment (bastards), Leesa was the only one to guess correctly. Statement 1 was true, 2 was serious BS, and 3 was close. If you ignored both of Thursday’s memes, then the Voodou curse of Zorzan be upon thee! On with explanation number one.

In the eleventh grade I skipped 32 days and still passed every class I had except Adult Living.

This one was true. The trick is that I attended a rural public school where most teachers wouldn’t fail any students simply because they didn’t want them back next year. That year I spent with my father. Since he liked being a big fish in a small pond, he moved to an extremely rural area of Kentucky and started a business. We lived in an area surrounded by corn and tobacco fields; our closest neighbors were cows unless you count the old couple who lived in a pink house some miles away.

The closest town had a human population of about 600 people, but was able to sustain six liquor stores since Tennessee's dry counties were near and the Kentucky drinking age was 18. Their tiny high school had 107 students, no sports, no cafeteria (they had vending machines and free time for lunch so you could leave, and they shipped poor students enrolled in the free lunch program to a larger elementary school), and only two clubs – FFA and FHA. That’s Future Farmers of America and Future Homemakers etc. The assumption was, if you lived there, you would either become a farmer or a farmer’s wife. Literally a third of the graduating seniors were married and/or pregnant. After living in the suburbs of Nashville, rural Kentucky felt like hillbilly hell. Yes, I know people think Nashville is just an oversized hick town, but they have shoes and ‘lectricity and forks and all that stuff them uppity Northerners got.

I had no interest in schoolwork, so I didn’t do any. I skipped classes constantly, and when I bothered to show I never did homework and frequently handed in blank tests with just my name written on them. The one class I did participate in was called Adult Living, which taught things like balancing a check book and managing a home mortgage and budget. I’ve been steadily employed since I turned 15 and already knew how to manage a budget and bank accounts, but the teacher was nice to me so I didn’t feel right about being a dick in return. Ironically, she was the only teacher who followed school policy and failed me for missing so many days.

Next year I moved back to Franklin, TN, where they didn’t teach Adult Living. If I’m not a viable adult, you know why. Now, by way of apology for all the words I made you scroll past, here is a J-bunny.