Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Non-bunny post

Stolen from Avitable:

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say or That I Should Say to Certain People:

1. I’m sorry, this conversation is all my fault – I expressed an interest. Please understand that I was just being polite and I really don’t care.
2. Am I allowed to hate you for your stupidity, or should I feel pity because you’re so moronic you’ve probably crossed the line into retardation?
3. BUNNY! Bunnybunnybunnybunnybunny - mybunny.*
4. You would look good wearing a roadside ditch and maggots. I can help you with that.
5. Would you like to have dinner with me?
6. I admire your ability to stay employed.
7. The world is fated to be destroyed by Giant Atomic Chickens™ in accordance with glorious Satanic prophecy.
9. Ooh – shart!
10. The world would be a better place if you were dead. You have no value beyond being a consumer, and you don’t even spend that much.

What things would you say?

* Actually, my internal reaction to seeing an Asian woman is like this – just replace the word “bubbles” with “bunny”.


Leesa said...

I love this one: "I admire your ability to stay employed."

dr.alistair said...

when the tele-marketers phone i say, "i`m sorry, i don`t speak english" using an oxford accent.

or i pretend to be a little old lady from ukraine. that one works with women best.

my kids love it and sit at the dining -room table killing themselves laughing, and i don`t mind the annoying calls so much.

Jay said...

I would like to use #'s 1 and 4 on a lot of people. A LOT!

Enemy of the Republic said...

Agreed with Leesa, that is a good one.

1. Just admit you were wrong. Now grovel at my feet.

2. Will you shut up about bunny already?

3. I admire your ability to live long and prosper without employment.

4. I want a raise--NOW!

5. When are the people in the South going to get over the fact that us Yankees kicked their ass and could do it again?

6. All hail and worship Artemis.

7. I feel no love for you whatsoever.

8. Kissing the boss's ass and stabbing your co-workers in the back is no way to go through life, son.

9. On second thought, that is how your mother stayed employed.

10. Which website did you download your drivers license from?

Whitemist said...

And why don't you say these things, they are all good!

Captain Dumbass said...

I've seen that movie far too many times. Hmm, if you replaced all the fish with bunnies though...

Hit 40 said...

You should just do #5!!! Go for it. If they say no, they are obviously no fun.

Cheetah pooh. Excellent. Thank you for the comment on my post. I have a rant against males tomorrow that you need to bring your male posse to smack me down. Maybe captain dumbass can help you

By the way.... I love your pic. Kinda hot.

Jay said...

I don't have a filter. There isn't much that I'd say that I haven't already said. Twice.

Avitable said...

#3 is what you do all the time walking around the Asian market, isn't it?

Neath said...

Ya know? I think #4 was my absolute favorite from that list. I know a few folks I'd like to either say that to or help them achieve it.

Grant said...

leesa - you probably know some people who deserve that one as well.

dr.alistair - I try the non-English defense, but I can't get anyone to believe that I'm Japanese.

jay - use them with my blessing. If the cops are called, I've never heard of you.

eotr - re: #2 - no. As the bible says, "There is no life without bunny."

whitemist - experience has taught me to never say what I'm thinking out loud unless I have time to go to jail.

cda - Finding Bunny sounds like a great flick.

hit 40 - I was waiting to get over the antibiotics first. I doubt she will be impressed with "Let's go to a restaurant that has immediate access to a toilet."

jay - I had to manually install my brain/mouth filter since I live in the not-so-laid-back bible belt.

avitable - that and masturbating through my pocket while pretending to search for change.

neath - if my blog inspires you to kill, then a) cool and b) I've never heard of you.

Anonymous said...

LOL, Neath is my absolute best friend in the whole damn world and he and you have a LOT in common! I too, could recite this list to more than a few from my past... Especially #4 :-)

tiff said...

#4 is inspired.

Ricardo said...

I don't know about the giant atomic chickens but with all the roids and hormones they shoot into them, who knows?

SJ said...

Rather cool... I am doing this on my blog.