Friday, April 24, 2009


Not a bunny

It’s time for Random Tuesday Thoughts. In my case they are so random that they are appearing on Friday. That’s okay, though – it’s still a day ending with the letter “y”, so we’re cool.

For Earth Day I decided not to open a multi-national plastic producing conglomeration, detonate any nuclear weapons, or defecate in a public swimming pool or McDonald’s deep fat fryer (nobody would ever notice the latter). I doubt any of you did half as much to save the environment. Bear that in mind the next time you want to whine about my using plastic grocery bags (especially since I use them in lieu of buying regular trash bags).

When I awoke one morning, I had a brilliant idea to pitch to my company that would improve employee productivity and morale – BYOT (Bring Your Own Trout) Day. Once a week, everyone would bring their own trout to work. By the time I finished shaving, however, I had forgotten why this was such a good idea. I have to work on that last part.

I saw a cute and tiny Asian bunny in the parking lot when I returned from lunch (read: nap) today. Despite shouting “Bunny!” and hobbling after her, she didn’t stop and offer to engage in carnal relations with me. Why can’t women take a compliment in the spirit it was intended?

This morning while doing my wound care ritual, I removed the bandage from the back of my knee only to have it peel away a section of skin. So now I have to bandage even more of my leg. I love the healing process.

In closing – Bunny!



Ricardo said...

She didn't respond? She doesn't know how to have any fun then. No one would notice the defecation in the deep fat fryer.

Captain Dumbass said...

Maybe it was the crazed hobbling. Next time just stand still and yell. Or maybe fall down so she'll feel obligated to rescue you.

NYD said...

1. stop shaving.
2. change "trout" to turd.
3. Understand that she did respond- just not positively.
4. Carry a lariat so the hobbling isn't a problem.

PBS said...

Maybe next time?

metalmom said...

I hope that trout thing works out for you.

Hit 40 said...

I love that you have 3 dudes commenting first!!! Way to hang together.

The 3 of you should unite and take on Vodka mom!! She has risen again!

Deep fried turd gross. Cable guy wins gross out of the week...

Grab taxiguy and cable dude for your attack! Have captain dumbass lead the way.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Bunny! Bunny!

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

I love the mcdondalds comment. Not so sure about the swimming pool!

Seriously are you feeling better? You know if you don't think you are healing right you should go to the doctor right?

Anonymous said...

I think I'm a bastard, for earth day I didn't do anything special except play with my DSi while in my underwear so maybe that saved somebody some energy somewhere, I dunno... I'm sorry I'm so lax in getting around and catching up, I think I got that pig disease or something equally horrendous...

Dawn said...

Wait... is "bunny!" a compliment?

Grant said...

ricardo - maybe I should be more aggressive and just toss them in the trunk of my car.

cda - I'm going to go back to clubbing them over the head.

nyd - or maybe I should just pack chloroform.

pbs - we'll see.

metalmom - I just know that some igmo coworker is going to bring a mackerel and hope nobody notices.

hit 40 - VodkaMom is not Japanese.

eotr - that's the spirit!

ssc - I would feel better if I wasn't seeing the doctor so often. Next step in my recovery is I need to get them to quit telling me to take more antibiotics.

sam - next time play by candlelight so you can further save the planet.

dawn - Bunny means "hot Asian woman", so it is the highest of all possible complements.

dr.alistair said...