Friday, April 24, 2009
For Earth Day I decided not to open a multi-national plastic producing conglomeration, detonate any nuclear weapons, or defecate in a public swimming pool or McDonald’s deep fat fryer (nobody would ever notice the latter). I doubt any of you did half as much to save the environment. Bear that in mind the next time you want to whine about my using plastic grocery bags (especially since I use them in lieu of buying regular trash bags).
When I awoke one morning, I had a brilliant idea to pitch to my company that would improve employee productivity and morale – BYOT (Bring Your Own Trout) Day. Once a week, everyone would bring their own trout to work. By the time I finished shaving, however, I had forgotten why this was such a good idea. I have to work on that last part.
I saw a cute and tiny Asian bunny in the parking lot when I returned from lunch (read: nap) today. Despite shouting “Bunny!” and hobbling after her, she didn’t stop and offer to engage in carnal relations with me. Why can’t women take a compliment in the spirit it was intended?
This morning while doing my wound care ritual, I removed the bandage from the back of my knee only to have it peel away a section of skin. So now I have to bandage even more of my leg. I love the healing process.
In closing – Bunny!