Thursday, September 18, 2008


I have nothing to blog about these days except my recovery (I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like!) and paying hospital bills (see previous note), so I'm doing Avitable's meme.

My favorite age: cretaceous.
My best friend: Nunya Bidness.
My celebrity crush: えびちゃん。

My defining characteristic: lack of basic sanity.
My most evil moment: I once dared a friend to join me in a shot of Sheep Dip, a brand of scotch that doesn't taste nearly as good as the label would indicate. Little did he know that, while he was in the bathroom, I ordered butterscotch schnappes for myself. I downed it and pretended to grimace, then said it was his turn.
My favorite food: panang curry with chicken, peppers, and green beans over rice with jasmine tea. Formerly lasagna.
My grossest injury: I once cracked my head on the ceiling of our house, tearing the scalp from one side to the other and opening an artery. Go ahead, say it - it explains a lot.
My biggest hatred: hypocrite xtians in any so-called organized religion.
My most illegal activity: I used to steal from my employers when I felt they owed me. For example, when a promised raise didn't go through while working for a national pizza pizza chain, every work day I calculated how much they owed me and then took what was owed (and no more) from the register.
My need for justice: rude people should all be killed as a lesson to others to watch their manners.
My most knowledgeable field: I know all that there is to be known except how to get a Japanese girlfriend. Also I'm good with English and Databases.
My life's goal: I currently have no goals beyond dinner.
My mother's influence: why do you think I turned out this way?
My nerdiest point: probably playing AD&D in the Army. I don't know why I liked fantasizing about killing people with a battle axe when I was paid to kill people with a machine gun.
My oldest memory: looking up from my box at my parents. Seriously - as a baby, I didn't have a crib. I had a cardboard box with a blanket. It was nice and warm.
My perfect date: maybe a nice movie, then discussion of the movie over dinner follwed by a nightcap and anal sex. Preferably with えびちゃん and her twin sister.
My unanswered question: if god already has a plan, how are your prayers supposed to change it?
My random fact: I can't stand to look at my reflection or hear my recorded voice. Or hear anything I've written read out loud.
My stupidest decision: I don't need insurance. I never get sick, and in the event of an emergency the VA will take care of me.
My favorite television show: probably Dexter, because I understand the main character better than you. Yes, I do.
My style of underwear: Boxer briefs.
My favorite vegetable: かぼちゃ。
My weakest trait: I have no weaknesses.
My X-men power: I like Legion's pyrokinesis - the ability to set and control fires with the mind. With that, my roads would always be clear, rude people would vanish like smoke (exactly like smoke), and my sushi would never again be undercooked.
My strongest yearning: Bunny!

My moment of Zen: Driving fast at night with the windows down and music blasting. (That was actually Avi's answer, but it covers me as well. When I die, I want to be listening to Slayer, driving my old 1969 Mustang at 120+ mpg, dousing myself with gasoline, and then setting myself on fire before I get hit by a meteor.)


Kira said...

....but I thought you said if I dressed up in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit, put on a longhaired black wig, colored myself with a yellow highlighter, and offered up anal that *I* could be your best friend! Does this mean the first time didn't count and I have to do it again???

~Deb said...

The bunny photo made me lose my train of thought. Thanks.

I once was dared to do shot after shot of my choice of liquor---which would be Ketel One vodka by some guy who thought he could drink me under the table. We were outside sitting at a table among friends. I walked inside and asked our waitress if she could substitute my vodka shot for water and give that idiot the real deal. I slipped her a 20 and headed back out with the gang.

5 shots later within 20 minutes and that guy was out..............passed out.........

His motives weren't good.
It's the only reason why I did it. ;)

I enjoyed this little list of yours. I will pray to God that your sin of stealing will be forgiven.

Your hypocritical Xtian with absolutely no morals :)


~Deb said...

P.S. I was well hydrated after that too.

Thought you should know. :|

Avitable said...

I understand Dexter pretty well, too!

NYD said...

More than I never wanted to know.

OK so you didn't dig the Green Acres pics. I am planning something special just for you....It has something to do with collage girls.

Enemy of the Republic said...

You have great patience for such a meme. I admire you.

SJ said...

Why cretaceous? There were no bunnies back then right?

Gib said...

With all due respect the neat toys people in the military get to play with, a battle axe is way cooler than a machine gun.

Grant said...

kira - sorry, but next time you have to suck in those gaudy American boobs. And cook the J-chicken bean meal.

~deb - his motives were pure. He just wanted to get you drunk so he could fuck you. You women just don't know how to accept a compliment.

~deb - you should have dared him back. You drink a glass of apple schnappes and send him gasoline.

avitable - I didn't think you had even watched the show yet. It's no Dr. Horrible, but still good.

nyd - collage girls? Have you been gluing their parts to canvas? I don't need another copycat.

enemy - yes, I am awesome.

sj - but it had the coolest dinosaurs. If I could have one to ride, it would impress the bunnies.

gib - true. I wish they gave us those instead of bayonets, but we're only allowed to commit atrocities with weapons approved by the Geneva convention.

Monogram Queen said...

TMI - TMI - TMI! :P You started it! (and why did I read all the way through?)

LMAO @ Kira!

tiff said...

why a meteor, exactly?

Grant said...

mq - there's no such thing as TMI.

tiff - because that's a death everyone will remember. That, or taking out a local scientology church with a suicide bomb while dressed as the devil. I'm still debating that one.