Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Meme

Meme’s these days are getting increasingly long and lame. To battle this trend I have created my own. Yes, you won’t believe it, but the following is an original created all by meself:

1. Describe yourself without the use of any vowels (treat “y” as a vowel).

Ft J-bnn bsssd Stnc vd pschpth.

2. Write a short paragraph about a truly horrifying encounter you once had using the word “sippy-cup”.

While digging for buried treasure in my neighbor’s yard, I thought I found the lost Chalice of Hufrumharamamanem, the ancient artifact which renders all who drink from it immune to mosquitoes and speeding tickets and irresistible to tiny Japanese woman. Only after I drank the wine (or whatever was in it) did I realize that it was not the golden, jewel-encrusted vessel from legend, but it was in fact the CURSED SIPPY-CUP FROM HELL!!! (It’s the white plastic thing with Barneys on the side.) That explains my love life, or more appropriately, lack thereof. At least my right hand gets a lot of exercise these days. (and you thought this wasn’t going to be horrifying)

3. Which of the following is the worst baby name: Monkey Winkle, Fetus Cheese, or Swaberpoo Deliciousness? Discuss.

Who’s the idiot who thinks up these things? Wait, nevermind. The last one because it almost sounds like a real phrase so you’ll spend your entire life telling people it means nothing, plus the length will make signing checks tedious. Bob Day is the ultimate convenient name.

4. Complete the following word association: cookie, ladder, penis, regret…

Fart.

5. You move your weasel to sun level three. Your opponent counters with whimsy to caveworm seven. What is the best counter move?

Chainsaw to the face. I don’t really like checkers – it’s too mundane.

5 questions, and we’re done. That’s how you do it, people.

Tag – you’re it. Give me a dollar.

12 comments:

Patti said...

Um I think i'll pass on this me~me only because the very first question has me completely bumfuzzled! Now I see where fetuscheese came from A Ha!

Tai said...

"Phrase because when it ends it goes. You wants."

That's my answer.

Give me your address, I'll send you a Canadian dollar. They're worth more and they're kinda pretty and gold.

Kira said...

Fetus cheese. That one's definitely the worst. Brrrr.

The sad thing is, you probably weren't even drunk when you came up with this one, Grant. Your creativity knows no bounds!

~Deb said...

I don't get #5. *scratches head*

A cursed sippy cup. I get those damn things every time I have my nieces and nephews over. I'll have to get some vodoo warlock or whatever to undo the curse of my own.

How's Grant doing?
xoxo

Still gonna visit you and harass you lots!

Leesa said...

When reading this meme, I was constructing my own answer to the meme. Dense me finally came to the realization that you may be poking fun at memes.

And I had a great sippy cup retort.

グラント said...

patti - I seriously hope you're not planning to rename your daughter based on my suggestions.

tai - that answer works for everything but the sippy-cup bit.

kira - I don't need booze to be creative. I need it to silence the voices in my head.

~deb - I don't know why #5 is difficult - don't you use the same rules for checkers as I do? Oh, wait, you're not from the South so you probably prefer chess.
Stay in touch, or I will loving kill you with anal sex.

leesa - although silly, I did actually want people to do the meme. Please share your sippy-cup answer.

Nobius said...

Okay so when the hell did you start blogging again? :)

I'm slow.

metalmom said...

Please to translate to nermal.I no gets it.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Hate memes--won't do it, sorry Grantichrist. But I am SO glad you have a blog. Time to relink ya and visit you often.

Cheryl said...

I saw this on Kaply, Inc. and hopped on the so-far-sparsely-populated bandwagon. Good work on the creative questioning!

グラント said...

nobius - I thought people would assume I had returned when I started commenting again, but that didn't happen. You're far from the only one who didn't notice.

metalmom - I'm sorry, I don't do normal.

enemy - the voodou wrath of Zorzan be upon your head. I curse you to find no comfort in your religion.

cheryl - I thank you and Tracy's dark hair thanks you.

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