Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I like Sigekane being attached

Dave Barry’s recent post made me think of how difficult it is for a computer to translate between languages. He only stuck to Western languages, and the computer still futzed it all up. I decided to try the same experiment with English and Japanese. So, here goes.

Howdy. My name is Grant. I am a neo-Satanic cannibalistic voodou prophet of doom whose sole purpose in life is to warn the populace that the world will one day be destroyed by Giant Atomic Chickens in accordance with prophecy. I like recycling, heavy metal, and tiny Asian hotties. Currently I support myself by working as a database administrator, but I dream of one day making a living from my writing. For now, I do it mostly for free. Now, feck off!

That was in Americanized English with a touch of Irish, if you didn’t know. And now, in Japanese:

やあ。私の名前はグラントである。私は世界は預言に従ってGiant Atomic 鶏によって1 日破壊されること生命の唯一の目的が住民に警告すること運命の新Neo-Satanic cannibalistic voodou の予言者である。私はリサイクル、重金属、及び極小のアジアhotties を好む。現在私はデータベース管理者として働くことによって自分自身を支えるが、私の執筆から生活を作る1 日の夢を見る。今のところ、私は自由のためのそれを大抵する。今、feck!

And back to English again:

And あ. My name is grant. As for me as for the world following to prophecy, 1 day it is the predicator of new Neo-Satanic cannibalistic of the thing destiny which the only purpose of the thing life which is destroyed warns to the inhabitant voodou with the Giant Atomic chicken. I like recycling, Sigekane being attached, and Asia hotties of minimum. Presently I support by my by working as a database manager, but you look at the dream of 1 day which makes life from my writing. For the present, I mostly do that for freedom. Now, feck!

Well, that’s today’s post. I go now to seduce Asia hotties of minimum.

21 comments:

Leesa said...

Just say it. My "I am the Japanese dust" comment prompted this.

fatty ~ said...

hmm yeh watever.

SJ said...

I mostly do that for freedom. The puter seems to think that doing somethign for free is the same as doing it for freedom. Dumb puter.

~Deb said...

Well at least it got the most important words correct... Hmmmm....

Grant said...

leesa - actually I didn't consider it until I read Dave Barry's post. I had forgotten how much fun computers and languages could be.

fatty - thank you for your insightful comment, Asia hottie of minimum.

sj - yeah, they're so stupid they only do what they're told. Kind of like graduate students.

~deb - are you kidding me? It completely missed "Neo-Satanic cannibalistic voodou" and "hotties", the most important parts of the post. They survived because it couldn't translate them into Japanese in the first place.

Doug Murata said...

I like that one line: I mostly do that for freedom. Keep writing for freedom Grant!

(I keep seeing Mel Gibson in Braveheart...)

Enemy of the Republic said...

Man, I was going to ask you for help with tech stuff, but I have no bargining chips--I'm not Asian, I don't practice Satanism and I am still in doubt about the prophesy concerning the Giant Atomic Chickens, although reseach has shown that the birds are reaching abnormal growth spurts, but it was believed to be a result of hormone induced grain feed. Perhaps the food contains plutonium.

I too, want to make money as a writer. Everyone tells me to write a book. Can I write about you?

Tracy Lynn said...

Jesus, Grant, when you do shit like this I could almost fall in love with you.

Then I have myself a diet sprite and simmer down.

Grant said...

doug - yes, that's how writing is for me - hordes of Scots band together and shout war cries.

enemy - sure, go ahead. I'll sue if you actually make any money. :p

tracy - diet Sprite? If you were truly hardcore, you'd drink regular Sprite.

patti_cake said...

LMAO at Tracy!

Tai said...

tee hee!

mal said...

I guess I do not have to ask "whats for dinner"?

fatty ~ said...

i'm such a nice person. i hope you were enlightened by my contribution.

Ayako said...

This is why I have a thing against internet translation programs.....>=D

PBS said...

Ha ha, things are certainly made funnier in translation!

Seven said...

As the famous Homer Simpson might intone: Uuuummmmm.......Asian hotties of minimum!

Weary Hag said...

I didn't see anything wrong with the Japanese translation and was able to read it quite readily.

Nice description of yourself. Very concise, clear and crisp.

Grant said...

patti_cake - yes, Tracy is wonderful, even if she isn't Japanese.

tai - languages are such a wonderful source of entertainment.

mal - Nihon no usagi are always on the menu.

fatty - yes, the world makes much more sense now.

ayako - people should all learn proper Japanese, like us. =)

pbs - for some real fun, try passing it through a few different languages.

rick - you said it.

weary hag - I don't know if that's an entirely accurate description, but it works.

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