Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Oh, Canada...

I've read a few random blogposts about Canada protesting the war in Iraq, i.e. compaining about us evil Americans in accordance with current world policy. I tried to find a news story about these occurrences, but I coulnd't find a reputable news agency that cared enough to carry the story. Still, I would like to officially thank you Canucks since we had trouble putting together a decent demonstration ourselves. I mean, New York only cobbled together 200 people? For NYC, that's not even a decent line at Starbucks.

Still, it got me to thinking of a recent post and I began to wonder why we never hear of all the things the Canadians are doing for or to the world, good or ill. Are they doing anything at all? If so, is it being reported outside of their country? Is it even being reported inside their country, or do they just find us so gosh darn interesting they don't even bother to look at their own leaders? Do they have leaders and, if so, are they leading? But rather than imitate them by standing around criticizing our neighbors, I have developed a series of slogans they can feel free to use the next time they hold an election or coup or lottery or whatever they do up there to decide leadership, if anything:

Canada - what's it all aboot, eh?

Canada - valiantly doing nothing - again.

Canada - leading the world in available parking.

Canada - it's too cold to get involved.

Canada - now with a black person.

Canada - home to more fleeing political wussbag weanie pacifists than any other country since 1971.

Oh, dear. Now I may have gone and upset Canada. Bwahahahahahahaaaaa!

But seriously - bwahahahahahahaaaaa!

23 comments:

sidcruise said...

ts true Canada is veru sleepy and can be mistaken for doing absolutely nothing ;)....

annush said...

I like Canada...seriously if it wasn't so cold, I'd consider moving there...

Oh and had I been in Ny, that protest would have had 201 people!

Melissa said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

PBS said...

You betcha, eh.

Seven said...

More more more...just when I got warmed up they ran out.
I suggest a Canadian bumper sticker retail outlet for you....then you can start in on the Afghans too....the possibilities are endless...crap now I'm trying to think of some and its your dang store!

circe said...

I have a seriously cryptic grin from ear to ear on my face and I refuse to explain why.........
:))

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You're bad, Grant.

Friggin' hilarious...but bad! ;)

Grant said...

sidcruise - maybe they're just hibernating. :p

annush - too bad you weren't there. I heard W say "If only 201 people out of NY's 7+ million had bothered to show, I would have pulled out of Iraq immediately."

melissa - what do you really think?

pbs - bacon! Maple syrup! Beavers! Okay, I'm out of stereotypes.

rick - feel free to submit your bumper sticker ideas. If I make a million dollars, I'll send you an official letter of thanks.

circe - what was that emoticon? A smiley face with a waddle?

pq - I'm beyond bad. I'm totally incompetent

pink said...

One think i will say about Canada is it is so laid back.They are just so polite here.

Tai said...

It IS cold here...I mean seriously, we're all to busy having sex trying to stay warm we can't be BOTHERED to do much else.

:)

Kira said...

Oh, man, I think the Canadians are too busy signing petitions and getting politically active in their own country to sprawl outwards to the rest of the world. Every time I've been there, I've seen a billion sign ups for petitions and stuff. Oh, and although I didn't see many black folks in Alberta, that province has a LOT OF ASIANS, so your YELLOW FEVER would enjoy it there ;)

Liz said...

LMAO!!!!

I agree with Rick, we need more. I love the too cold to care one. Maybe that's why no one envades.

In defense, I'll say it sure is clean and no graffiti.

april said...

There is such a place called Canada?? =)

fatty ~ said...

hehe - sadistic fellow you.

i'd do one for america, but i think americans are pretty good at doing it themselves. Its a little too much like stating the obvious.

Eternity said...

I am not surprised by anything you wrote in this post. After all, you are American, and what American knows anything outside of what is going on in his own country? Granted they may know when their fellow Americans leave their country to do something for their country, but yet, ask them WHY they are doing it and you get answers that are right up there with "Canada has States, Canadians live in igloos, and Nova Scotia is a city."

Hard to tell I am Canadian eh?

Kerry said...

Canadian's are wimps!

Grant said...

pink - truth is, I like the bits of Canada I've seen and the people I've met. I just figured that any country that can take time from its busy schedule to criticize us can handle a little ribbing in return.

tai - finally, somebody makes a good argument for Canadian superiority.

kira - Canada's looking better all the time. I had once considered moving to Vancouver. What's the Asian bunny situation there?

liz - America sort of tried to annex Canada as part of the war of 1812, but we were repulsed. The hatred still runs deep.

april - actually, I just made it up. Canadians are fictional characters like elves and hobbits and people from Wales. Any you meet are just a figment of the imagination.

aka fatty - "do one for America"? Did anyone else think that sounded a bit naughty? :p

eternity - I know Nova Scotia is not a city. You have to have electricity to qualify for that. We'll allow you to call it a hut, but that's as far as we can go. No go take your medication, dear.

kerry - apparently they have imported our American-style thin skins. They're ripe for an invasion.

Spider Girl said...

200 people? I'm impressed my town did something better than New York. :)

~Deb said...

Well at least they have some great salmon up there. That's the most I know about Canada, and wish to know.

Limited mind I have, huh? We We!

Libélula said...

Devilishly funny...as always!

Rose DesRochers said...

Some Canadians are too busy trying to get bills passed that will protect children then to worry about Bush and his oil.

Eh!!

Grant said...

spider girl - according to Tai and Kira, you guys are already doing better than us in two critical areas (sex and Asian bunnies).

~deb - they're stealing our Salmon from Alaska. This means war! As always.

libelula - thanks. The secret ingredient is evil.

rose - send us some of your spare Asian bunnies (by which I mean women) and we'll happily feed your kids.

Eternity said...

Haha. That last line would have had more of a punch if you had of added the "w".

And how did you know I was on medication;)