Friday, November 25, 2005

Attn: Parents of Small Children

You know when you're in a crowded store and you have your small child with you and you're so wrapped up in the moment that you're making baby noises and pointing at everything as exciting as a No Smoking sign and you're wandering about without a care in the world, just you and your child? If you take the time to look around, you will notice that there is an entire world that couldn't care less about you or your little snot-nosed brat and you're in our way and some of us are thinking about how cute it would be to remove both your heads with a shotgun.

Just sort of FYI, you know.

Yes, I had to return an item to Best Buy today. It's the first time I went to a major retail store around here the day after Thanksgiving. The police were out in full force, directing traffic and standing in the vestibule looking menacing. The place was insane, wall to wall with shoppers and roped off lanes of travel and employees directing foot traffic. I actually had to stand in line to get to the customer service desk. People are returning gifts early this year.

Then I went to Harry's in the hope if buying a pumpkin pie on sale. When I arrived I found a) pies were still at full price, b) they had no pumpkin at any price, and c) some dude and his stupid kid kept getting in front of me blocking my way no matter which direction I went. I almost bought a chocolate bourbon pecan pie which I'm sure would be as luscious as it sounds, but $15 is too much for a single pie. I should probably stay off the sweets anyway. I don't really need the sugar rush today.


angel, jr. said...

No pumpkin? And nothing half-off? I might have had to invest in the bourbon pie. Pecan is my favorite!

Butterscotch said...

For a moment there I thought you were describing you and your child. I had to double check to see whose blog I was reading.

Just Some Gal said...

I actually avoid public outings with my son if possible because he's a beast lately. If I talked cutsie to him and pointed he'd bean with a can of beans or something. He's a wicked boy sometimes!!

I refused to go out near shopping centers at all today. Sorry you had to.

That pecan pie sounds like an instant reason to go see the NBD!! You better go back & buy it! ;-)

annush said...

I bought 3 pies for thanksgiving dinner and i still have 2 and a half...I can feel myself getting fatter!

Liz said...

Yea I don’t like the brats either, people always look down on women who say this so I keep it under my hat most of the time. Just say you think babies are ugly and they look at you like you said Hitler is my hero. I refer to children as speed bumps.

I was out at Best Buy around 8am and it was still nutty. Glad you made it through. The pie thing is such a scam, but I might have to buckle and buy it anyway too. Pie is one of the great things the world has to offer.

Lisa said...

bourbon and chocolate in the same pie?? Wow..regardless of the price, bet they sold zillions of them. Yum!

I get fed up with the parents that carry their little treasures in backpack thingies. I don't know how many times I've been smacked by a kid in one of those as their mum or dad is moving around in congested foot traffic. Pisses me off.

Weary Hag said...

And this is just another reason why I don't go into stores unless ABSOLUTELY necessary ~ like if I run out of hole-ridden underwear or if I get tired of using paper towels to wipe my ass.

Toad734 said...

Most, especially yuppie moms, think the whole world stops and starts for their spoiled little kid name Dakota.