Friday, October 07, 2005

New Trial

For the next thirty days, I will daily express my love for NBD in wonderful and unique ways. So far I have:

Day One: Surreptitiously leave a chocolate bunny with a candy arrow through its heart.
Day Two: Surreptitiously leave a real dead bunny with a crossbow bolt through its heart.
Day Three: Hire singing dolphins to serenade her.
Day Four: Carve my initials into the dashboard of her car.
Day Five: Kill any rivals for her affection with a heart-shaped sledgehammer. The wound patterns should be really neat.
Day Six: Pet cobra (they’re so cute when they strike).
Day Seven: Dead cats arranged in a heart on her front lawn.
Day Eight: Screaming “I love you and you’ll never be rid of me” as the cops drag me away.
Days Nine through Thirty: Carving ILNBD into various body parts (not necessarily my body) while awaiting trial.

In case I escape incarceration, I may need some suggestions for other days. Please leave your ideas in the comments. Yes, I’m still recovering from my latest bout with insomnia. Why do you ask?


sands of time said...

I think since Halloween will be in your 30 day .You should build up to something really spectacular for that day.Raising the dead,Mass killing spree etc.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You could leave a heartshaped box of chocolates on her doorstep.

And when I say "heart-shaped", I really mean "heart-shaped".


Nobius said...

You're obsessed man. :)