Friday, October 21, 2005

Give the Devil His Due

THIRTY-NINE QUESTIONS FOR CHARLIE DANIELS UPON HEARING "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" for the First Time in 25 Years has already been posted by Sarcasmo and Gib, but I’m posting the link because a) it’s funny and b) I thought of a few more questions myself. If you’re lucky enough to not know this song (sorry, not a country music fan) the full lyrics are here.

The first stanza reads:

The devil went down to Georgia
He was lookin' for a soul to steal
He was in a bind
'Cause he was way behind
And he was willin' to make a deal

Which raises the following questions:
  1. Why was he way behind?

  2. Is Charlie Daniels saying our Lord Lucifer, His Satanic Majesty, works under a quota system?

  3. Who sets these quotas?

  4. Is it god?

  5. Does this mean god is ultimately responsible for people going to Hell and Satan is just his pawn and fall guy?

  6. For the purposes of this song, shouldn’t the Devil have been called Beelzebubba?
If one of you has access to children (the law prevents me from talking to them on this and other planets), could you have them pose these questions to their Sunday school teacher? I’d really like to hear the answers. Thanks.

In slightly related news, I’m thinking of having my name changed to Vanilla Evil. So, do I use that as my first and last name, or keep the surname, or go with Vanilla Evil Zorzan, or Zorzan, the Vanilla of Evil, or…

10 comments:

annush said...

Zorzan, the vanilla of evil.

PBS said...

Ha ha, I like the questions. Am very curious as to the answers, too.

Lor! said...

Is Vanilla Evil like Vanilla Ice?

Ariel1980 said...

Many, many nights I have laid awake wondering why the chicken was in the bread pan, picking out dough. Picking it out? For what?

I'm confused. I just don't get country music, I guess.

BTW---excellent blog. You've got good humour.

Georgiapeach said...

Completely off the subject. I love that song. That IS my favorite country song. Urban Cowboy is one of my favorite movies!

K said...

Why Vanilla? why not hazelnut or cinnamon? I think those are sexy.

Erm, on the song issue. I think we all have a boss, even the devil. He must report to someone for some reason. Maybe God will take away his tail if he doesn't meet the standars for the month. I'd wanna hang on to my tail if it was cool like that. Just sayin'

sands of time said...

i think maybe the devil was behind because he was checking out kinky porn online and forgot his purpose was to take the people to hell not watch what they could do with various parts of their anatomy.As for the name think Zorzan vanilla Evil as well.

circe said...

These are excellent questions and should be pondered seriously....

Weary Hag said...

Don't give the slightest hoot about Charlie Daniels song - (though I own the stupid album only cuz I got it for free when I worked on the Boardwalk)

As to the name? I'm surprised you don't just keep "Grant Zorzan" because it almost sounds like a command and I know how much you like that shit. You could walk up to chicks and when they ask your name you could say "Grant Zorzan" and they could say "haha grant you what?" And the ball would be right in your court. You could ask for the moon.

Libélula said...

I'm not a Country fan either...All the songs are just too damn whiny and some lyrics are just plain ridiculous.

About the name, I think Vanilla Ice took the fun out of that name long ago...