Developing Powers Update

Since starting the food experiment which has become part of my everyday life, I have been tracking the progress of my energy levels and also a few (kinda sorta) super powers I have developed, leading to the creation of my alter-ego Zorzan (or Zorzan the Indefatigable if you have the time). Not only have I developed heightened endurance, an indestructible head, and super strength (focused in my lower back only), I have recently discovered two new powers to add to the list.

1) Sensitivity to sugar. Now I can tell if a food has a large amount of added sugar just by taste. This may not sound highly impressive, but I’m not just talking about sweets. Anything I bite into sends a warning jolt through my tongue into my brain if the manufacturer secreted sugar inside. Recent discovery – Sonny’s Smokin’ BBQ sauce made my sugar sense tingle, even over the jalapeno peppers. Sure enough – not the main ingredient, but high on the list.

2) Resistance to static electricity. This one is a real bonus. I’ve always been highly susceptible to static electric shock to the point where I habitually tap any metal in sight to bleed off the excess charge. I’ve even learned what hurts the most: painted metal is bad, powder coated is worse, and chrome or water is the worst. Actually the worst is touching some piece of electronics while I’m fully charged, like a TV or VCR; the resulting shock is bad enough to numb my arm up to the elbow. Imagine my pleasant surprise when I noticed last week, during one of my usual shock treatments – getting out of the car – I touched the car door and felt nothing at all. Since the first time I’ve tried a few experiments to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. Wearing the same gym clothes as the last time I was electrocuted, I worked out on a powder coated treadmill that used to shock me every time I touched the hand rails, about every five seconds. This time I went a half hour without receiving a single tingle.

So, now I can lift huge amounts with my lower back, track hidden sugar by taste, bash things with my head, stay up late with no ill effects, and shrug off static electric attacks. As soon as the mind control and pyromancy abilities kick in (I’m sure they’re coming) I’ll be in business.