Got My Jolly On

My mother decided to visit this HannaKwanzaRamadamas (HKRXmasux) weekend. As background information, you should understand that my mother’s visits are generally not something to be enjoyed, but rather survived. In preparation for this joyous weekend, we decided to eat the traditional feast at whatever restaurant was serving it. I had suggested dinner at the House of Chan, a great local Chinese restaurant, but she rejected the notion of Chinese food on the JC day. I also ordered a couple of films from NetFlix – Gilda (by her request) and Elf (which she had wanted to see last year, but was not available on video). And so…

Friday, December 24, 2004
She arrived very early, just in time for me to get the empty beer cans to the trash compactor, but not complete the housework. In fact, the apartment was in that state of cleaning where every room lay in ruins at the cusp of when it would all coalesce again. I quickly reassembled the place as she sat in the living room and complained about traffic. She had brought along a stack of DVD’s from the dollar tree, and we watched part of a couple. Even at $1 per, they were overpriced. I recommended going out to the movies, so we checked what was showing and she rejected everything. She agreed to play the martyr and accompany me to The Incredibles, which we both liked although she is not allowed to say that since animation is strictly for children. Side note – the movie had a short before the feature film that we both found pointless and cloying, so there was a little consensus involved.
I told her that Denny’s was our only local choice for turkey-n-trimmings tomorrow. She announced that she hated Denny’s and would never eat there, so we could just scrounge around my kitchen for victuals. Side note – my kitchen was stocked similarly to when I had my Thanksgiving feast, although I did have flatbread and hummus this time.
We ate the Golden Corral buffet for lunch, and I managed keep my scarfing down to a point of mild discomfort instead of retching misery. We stopped at Rooms to Go, something she likes to do periodically so she can complain about the cost of furniture.
That night, we watched A Christmas Story, which ends with a family forced to eat Chinese food for HKRXmasux dinner.

Saturday, December 25, 2004
She awoke late feeling better than normal. Apparently she likes my bed much better than the thing she currently sleeps on, an antique wad of cotton on top of an ancient, jittery frame that likes to periodically throw a hissy fit and toss its slats. Since we weren’t having the HKRXmasux feast, I asked where she wanted to go for breakfast (our options now being Denny’s and Waffle House). She asked who served the Grand Slam breakfasts, noting that she loved those. So, we ate breakfast at Denny’s, but she decided that we should still not return for lunch since she’d already eaten turkey and dressing twice this year.
She wouldn’t watch Elf since it had Will Ferrell, further claiming she had never wanted to see it in the first place, and she didn’t like Gilda enough to finish the movie. I took her to see The Aviator, which I found boring and pointless, but she actually enjoyed.
For dinner, she insisted we go to the House of Chan. We arrived early and found the place nearly packed, only two tables remaining. We had the cashew chicken and tangerine beef, and both were wonderful.
That night I watched It’s A Wonderful Life for the first time. I had never seen it before because she watched it before I was born, and would never consent to sit through it again. This year she said she would read while I watched it. She read a little, and picked at the movie a little, but at least I finally got to watch it. I thought it was a little depressing, this story of a man trapped in a mundane life.
Then we re-watched Pirates of the Caribbean, which we both enjoyed.

Sunday, December 26, 2004
She slept in again; we weren’t up and moving until 10:00 AM. I offered to take us to breakfast or lunch, wherever she wanted to go, and she chose breakfast at Denny’s again. She couldn’t get over how great she felt, so I asked if she wanted a new bed. Like usual, she balked at the idea of money being spent (regardless of who was doing the actual spending), but I convinced her that a good night’s sleep was not a luxury. We stopped at the Original Mattress Factory (where I bought mine), and got her a new bed (both mattresses, frame, and headboard), loaded it into her truck, and sent her home. It was the first time I had gotten her something for HKRXmasux that she was not able to use against me in some kind of head game.
I still wanted my HKRXmasux feast, so I stopped by Publix and bought a turkey breast, rolls, and half of an apple pie (I already had a yam lurking in the pantry). I ate my food, watched Elf (which was cute, but not great), and now I just finished listening to Nat King Cole’s Christmas Favorites while enjoying a little pie and hot cocoa with whipped cream.

It’s been a good HKRXmasux, and all it took was for my mother to suffer a near-death experience and get some decent rest. Oh, and a couple of Grand Slam breakfasts. I hope you all had a holiday which was almost, but not quite, as good as mine.
Okay. Time to crank the heavy metal and get back to work. Those characters in my story aren’t just going to kill themselves. Or are they?
P.S. Merry HKRXmasux, Satan Sue. I got you some Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister, and Queen. Justify my unconditional love, baby.