Why do all my business pants have pockets that extend down to my knees? Who decided we needed all that cargo space? True, since I don't carry a purse my pants pockets are all the mobile storage I have, but it's overkill. In one front pocket I carry my keys and some loose change and that's all. I can't reach either without bending over, which causes the pocket to droop further. In response, I've developed a technique I refer to as "Office Flamingo." When I need my keys or change, almost always while at work, I extend one leg and fold the bottom half under me which traps the objects in place and raises the pocket bottom closer to my reach. I'm sure I look stupid(er).
Worse than trying to reach my keys and change is when the items arrange themself in such a disarray that they make a repetitive but progressive cacophony as I walk (e.g. chink-chink-chink-kachink-kachink-kachink-kachinkching-kachinkching-kachinkching) until I stop, do an Office Flamingo, and rearrange everything into a quieter pile.
My jeans and shorts don't embarrass me this way. Why can't I wear them to work? Why can't I telecommute? Why can't I just win the lottery (without purchasing a ticket) so I can stay home altogether? Well, back on the pants, maybe I should just staple them half shut, or fill the bottoms with tissue paper. Or just go to work without pants as a matter of protest. Hmmm...I sense another oncoming brush with the law.
Pants, out
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1 comment:
Now bein'the age that I am, and of the shape that I am, the idea of "fashion" takes a very back seat.
My wife (bless her kindly soul) bought me a pair of "cargo pants" suggesting that it might help with carrying all those extraneous bits and pieces that I keep picking up, putting down, and fiddling with when I am trying to take a photograph.
Knees and a 300mm Sun (old, cast iron variety) lens do not mix too good.
Even more to the point is the combined effect of mass and gravitas on the belted regions. NOT a good look.
My sympathy to you...
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