Tuesday, September 21, 2004

What's up with pants?

Why do all my business pants have pockets that extend down to my knees? Who decided we needed all that cargo space? True, since I don't carry a purse my pants pockets are all the mobile storage I have, but it's overkill. In one front pocket I carry my keys and some loose change and that's all. I can't reach either without bending over, which causes the pocket to droop further. In response, I've developed a technique I refer to as "Office Flamingo." When I need my keys or change, almost always while at work, I extend one leg and fold the bottom half under me which traps the objects in place and raises the pocket bottom closer to my reach. I'm sure I look stupid(er).

Worse than trying to reach my keys and change is when the items arrange themself in such a disarray that they make a repetitive but progressive cacophony as I walk (e.g. chink-chink-chink-kachink-kachink-kachink-kachinkching-kachinkching-kachinkching) until I stop, do an Office Flamingo, and rearrange everything into a quieter pile.

My jeans and shorts don't embarrass me this way. Why can't I wear them to work? Why can't I telecommute? Why can't I just win the lottery (without purchasing a ticket) so I can stay home altogether? Well, back on the pants, maybe I should just staple them half shut, or fill the bottoms with tissue paper. Or just go to work without pants as a matter of protest. Hmmm...I sense another oncoming brush with the law.

Pants, out

1 comment:

The probligo said...

Now bein'the age that I am, and of the shape that I am, the idea of "fashion" takes a very back seat.

My wife (bless her kindly soul) bought me a pair of "cargo pants" suggesting that it might help with carrying all those extraneous bits and pieces that I keep picking up, putting down, and fiddling with when I am trying to take a photograph.

Knees and a 300mm Sun (old, cast iron variety) lens do not mix too good.

Even more to the point is the combined effect of mass and gravitas on the belted regions. NOT a good look.

My sympathy to you...