Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I'm Jealous

Sarcasmo is getting a robot. I want a robot. It's lonely in my apartment sometimes. I could use a mechanical pal to chat with, and help clean, and kill intruders. Not that I ever get any intruders, but if I had a robot, I'd advertise. (Sign on the front door - "Free Money Inside. Don't Knock - Just Barge Right In.")

I'd have to make a few home modifications. Asimov's laws would be simplified as follows:

  1. Grant is not a target.
  2. Unless he's feeling suicidal or needs to be euthanized.
  3. Everybody else can take their chances.

Then of course, I'd have to upgrade the hardware - chainsaws, flame-throwers, machine guns, keg tap, MP3 player, rocket launcher, feather duster, and maybe a built-in doomsday device. Talk about your killer aps, hee hee hee.

Anyway, when I get the robot, party at my place! Everyone's invited. Don't knock - just barge right in. Call ahead so I'll know to take cover.

Carnage, out

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